Life plans

I must be getting old and cynical. I was reading an article in today's You magazine about how young women probably spend too much time creating life plans and not enough enjoying living, and I found myself nodding in agreement.

I don't think I really believe in life plans anymore. When I was a teenager I thought I had my life all mapped out...A Levels, university, a high-flying career. I wasn't even going to think about settling down or getting married until I was at least 30. I didn't want kids.

So what happened? I met someone at 19 who I thought was 'the One'. I suddenly realised that I really did want a baby, with him. It was a biological revelation. But first we had university to finish and sadly our relationship didn't survive an enforced separation. I went on to train for the career. Before I was even fully qualified I had met the man I would marry. In my twenties. A period of ill health and job changes meant that plans for babies had to be postponed for a while, but I fell pregnant in my very early thirties. I never went back to the lucrative career.

We are not leading the lifestyle now which we had originally envisioned. There is, for example, no holiday home abroad. Both our children have additional needs. But we get on with making the best out of life as it is rather than dwelling on what might have been or trying to look too far into the future. Trying to plan too much can turn people into control freaks and of course control freaks don't tend to cope well when life throws a curve ball.

Which, as we know here, it so often does.

Three notable things:

1. Hubby is, hopefully, en route to Brussels for a short break. That is, if his mate turned up at the station in time for them to get on Eurostar!

2. I've just been looking back at the opening chapters of my novel and there is not as much revision to do as I thought. Can't wait to get going with writing new chapters.

3. I am knitting another scarf, using silk and cashmere yarn in spicy shades of yellow, orange, coral, purple and beige. I think this one will be a present for a friend.

Good buys

A parcel arrived this afternoon containing this and these ( bought by redeeming my Book People points). What a treat!

A fragmented day today, with food shopping and a few other minor chores to be done, as well as work. I am so looking forward to finishing this figure work and getting my head back to the world of writing. With things gradually improving at home I am feeling that the fog, which has stopped me being able to concentrate, is finally lifting from my brain.

Three notable things:

1. My book parcel.

2. Son 1 doing some computer back-ups for me...I am so bad about doing that, except for important writing!

3. Watching the moving eulogy by the husband of Jane Tomlinson on the TV news report of her funeral. A truly inspiring woman.

Results day

My Open University K272 course results were published today. I had actually forgotten they were due by tomorrow!

I scraped a Pass 2 ( sort of 2:1 equivalent) which I am pleased with. Not my best result ever, but to be honest I did well to finish the course at all. It was interesting, yet also quite complex to understand what was wanted when writing the essays, as I suppose it was all quite theoretical and subjective.

Anyway now I can get back to some writing, or at least I can in two weeks time when I have finished my accountancy work...

Three notable things:

1. My exam result.

2. Feeling very proud of son 1, who found the courage to go into his old school yesterday and tell the head of year what he had experienced there, in the hope that she can protect one of his friends from bullying.

3. Yet another visit to the dental hygienist, who said my gums were healthier than last time and asked me what I had done differently. All I could think of was that the battery has run out in my toothbrush...

Journalism and news

I am something of a news and information junkie. If there is nothing much on television I will normally tune into a news or documentary channel rather entertainment.I used to watch Sky News, because I thought they were quicker with breaking news than BBC News 24. But, since we get our digital TV from Virgin Media, we no longer have Sky News due to the dispute. Still, the BBC does not usually disappoint.

Recently there was an incident which affected someone of whom I knew. It was a matter of public interest and was picked up by the BBC, on the News 24 channel at least. The next day I scoured several quality newspapers for updates and found no mention of the story. This may, of course, have been for legal reasons. Which started me thinking about the implications of journalism, about what can and what should be printed or reported. For someone who can write, journalism of any kind might seem like an easy option, but there is so much more to it, so many legal and libel implications. Not just in respect of news, but in any piece where you are giving information and indeed any facts, which should be scrupulously checked for accuracy.

The recent media circus around the family of Madeleine McCann has reinforced my worries. Of course her parents courted the media in the early days and so cannot really complain now that they are becoming targets of the press. But, without making any presumptions of innocence or guilt, it reminds me uncomfortably of a book I read many years ago for my degree: The Lost Honour of Katerina Blum by Heinrich Boll. (For those who know German, Boll should have an Umlaut, but I don't think I can type that and somehow Boell doesn't look right at all!)

You probably won't have read the book or seen the film based upon it, which actually came out in 1975. But in the current political climate post 9/11, the underlying themes of the press destroying the life of a potentially innocent person, who has briefly associated with a criminal/terrorist, seem just as relevant today as they did then.

Three notable things:

1. I reached my work target for the day.

2. I sat though a meeting this morning and realised the chairperson had taken on board the contents of an email I sent last week, even though I had received no reply.

3. I completed the first exercise for Susan Hill's course.

Susan Hill's writing course...

...has started!

An interesting first exercise looking at opening sentences will keep me busy this afternoon. Luckily, due to my shopaholic tendencies and serious charity shop habit, I have plenty of books in the house to peruse.

I am really looking forward to following this no pressure course, because I find I learn something new from every book on writing I read or course I take. Yet I also like the idea that Susan Hill is going to encourage her students to break the 'rules', because I, too, don't believe that writing is all about rules as such. What is taught on creative writing courses should be just guidance, not a recipe for creating books 'by numbers'.

For me, probably the best part about taking the Open University writing courses has been the interaction with other students and being able to receive constructive criticism. Of course you don't actually have to take a formal course to get that...just find a writer's group you feel comfortable with, whether in person or online, but above all find a group of people who will look at your work objectively and not just tell you what you want to hear. In some ways a formal course does add some objectivity and academic rigour to a process which is in so many ways subjective. But learning from longstanding, very successful authors must be one of the best ways to learn.

Three notable things:

1. Son 1 and I have just made a pact for the sake of his health. He will give up fizzy drinks if I give up chocolate. How am I going to survive?

2. I didn't get as much work done as I had hoped on Friday, but I'm not in a panic. Not yet, anyway.

3. I am becoming a BBC News 24 whore. More about that later.

Dietary interventions

Modified diets have been an important and often controversial topic of conversation amongst parents of children with autism or ADHD for a long time. Now a study has actually come out and said what parents have known for a long time, namely that children's behaviour is affected by food additives in drinks and confectionary.

Of course it is not just additives that can alter behaviour. Some people are affected by gluten in wheat products and casein in milk products. Then of course there is also the caffeine in cola. Son 1's anxiety is noticably increased if he drinks Pepsi or Coke, both of which he loves and is finding hard to give up ( caffeine-free Coke apparently not being the same!)

Special diets don't work for all children. We tried a gluten-free/casein-free diet on son 2 and it had no effect. We eventually gave up because it was also hard to stick to it rigidly without putting the whole family on the diet, which would have been unfair to son 1. But I do personally know autistic children who have benefitted significantly from such a diet, so it must always be worth a try, as are fish oil and multi-vitamin supplements to remedy any potential deficits.

In any case reducing or cutting out the additives in children's diets is just common sense and can only benefit all.

Three notable things:

1. The woodpecker was on our fruit trees again today.

2. I hope he survived the attentions of two beautiful cats, one black and one ginger, who have strolled across our grass at different times today. We don't get that many cats coming through and these two were both gorgeous.

3. More work got done. More stress means less success but I feel quite relaxed about it at the moment.

Sense of style

I've always envied women who are effortlessly stylish. For some it seems to come so naturally, but I am definitely not one of them.

I think my personal sense of style has always been a little boyish. We were brought up by a religious mother with a total disinterest in fashion and beauty, and as a result both my sister and I tend towards the practical rather than the pretty.

As a student I started to develop a little of my own style, using quirky accessories which stood out, but also experimenting with items of sexier clothing which horrified my mother. However, on entering a staid profession my workwear had to be business (skirt) suits, and as a woman fighting to progress in what was essentially a man's world, I made little concession to feminine fripperies other than make-up and a little jewellery.

I'll gloss over my early years as a parent, when I wore leggings (first time round) for far longer than I should have, simply because they were easy care and easy wear. I was overwhelmed by parenthood and we were short of money, well that is my excuse anyway. I prefered to concentrate my efforts on nice clothes for my babies.

Finally, with both boys in school, I started to develop what I think is my real style. I abandoned utilitarian plain cotton t-shirts for pretty patterned tops, which can be worn with jeans by day or tailored trousers for smarter occasions. I accepted the fact that I am never going to be a skirt person, but developed once again a love for unusual accessories. I learnt to spend more on classic items and less on what might be termed fashion. I even found a brand of jeans which generally fits me quite well, not easy when you are short but also a larger lady. I'm still not a girly dresser, but I hope I have finally found something of a balance between practicality, comfort and femininity. I have come to terms with my size and learnt to work with it, rather than against it for the sake of fashion.

At last I actually like my style and for now I am sticking with it.

Three notable things:

1. Son 1 is singing and whistling around the house for the first time in a couple of years.

2. I managed to do a Tesco shop and some successful work today.

3. Tesco is currently selling chart paperbacks at two for £7. I must resist!

Labelling women's fiction

Yes, I know we have had this debate before.

In the early days of this blog I wrote a post about how I didn't read chick lit, or rather I thought I didn't, but then I realised that in fact a number of books I had enjoyed were actually packaged as chick lit. My post provoked a flurry of comments ( very exciting when you are a new blogger!) and aroused some strong feelings.

I still have trouble with the term chick lit. For a start I am not a chick, I am far too old! Even when I was young enough, I think I would have felt insulted if anyone called me a chick...somehow it seems to demean the depth of women's experiences in their twenties and thirties. But I do know that chick lit provokes a lot of controversy, both pro and con. In order to learn more about the chick lit phenomenon, I have become a regular reader of Trashionista, which reviews chick lit and related matters from both sides of the Atlantic. I have to admit it has led me to some interesting books, especially through their non-chick lit More on Monday slot.

Anyway, I recently read an interesting debate on a forum about the labelling of fiction and thanks to Carenza, I found this piece by Dorothy Koomson. To be honest I have never read any of Dorothy's books, but I will now look out for them as the latest two, certainly, sound like novels I might enjoy. But it is interesting that she doesn't want her work to be labelled as chick lit and indeed the covers appear to indicate that they are perhaps aimed more towards readers of Jodi Picoult than of, say, Sophie Kinsella. That interests me because I think Picoult market will also be the one to which my own fledgling novel is likely to appeal.

I like Dorothy's input into the labelling debate, even though I am not sure whether heart lit is actually that much better as a term than chick lit! Why can't publishers just call such books something like contemporary women's fiction and use covers which appeal to women of all ages? I suspect a number of decent books may have been done a disservice by pastel-coloured, cartoon bedecked covers and a whole audience for other women's fiction lost because they only look for chick lit style covers.

So when some people in the trade are quoted as saying chick lit is dead, I don't think it necessarily means that the genre itself is dead, but that it perhaps needs to be repackaged to appeal to a wider audience who may have been put off by the name and the covers.

Three notable things:

1. School started back today. The house has been blissfully quiet.

2. I have finished my scarf. Just need to sew the ends in now. I am pleased with it...I know there is at least one 'deliberate' mistake in the pattern, but hey, nothing handmade is perfect!

3. I managed to get some work done, despite being called out to taxi son 1 to and from an appointment... 'It's too hot to cycle, Mum!'

Welcome, September!

I was glad to see the end of August. It had been a strange month, not just because my usual routines were disrupted by the school holidays, but also because it was a month of extreme highs and lows.

On the home front things have generally been pretty good over the summer. But I have learnt over the years never to become complacent when things seem to be going well. True to form, more than once during the month I received bad news which, although not affecting me directly, was enough to make me stop in my tracks and re-evaluate the possible future.

On Saturday afternoon I wandered around town in need of something to cheer me up. Browsing in Waterstone's, I spotted new paperbacks by two of my favourite authors on the 'three for two' offer tables. Having picked up Moral Disorder by Margaret Atwood and The View from Castle Rock by Alice Munro, I needed to choose a third book. I was drawn to Over by Margaret Forster but in the end plumped for The Story of You by Julie Myerson. I paid by cash, so Hubby won't see them on the credit card, and sneaked them into the house later, hidden in a large bag of clothes bought for son 1.

Another guilty secret, yet a healthier treat than a family-sized bar of chocolate and they succeeded in lifting what had been a despondent mood!

Three notable things:

1. Son 1 has been on a high and achieved a lot over the last week.

2. Last day of the school holiday today!

3. Being contacted via Facebook by someone I hadn't 'spoken' to for ages and finding we actually have a local friend in common and I never knew!

Arthur Miller's son

I suppose I am starting to get my brain into drama mode in preparation for my Open University Start Writing Plays course which begins in October. Anyway I was fascinated to read this piece about Arthur Miller in The Times.

I vaguely remember reading somewhere before, probably in an obituary, that Miller had a son with Down's Syndrome. I hadn't, however, realised the whole sad story. Although it was much more common to institutionalise disabled children back in the 1960's and earlier, Miller's disownment of his son and treatment of his wife, who wanted to keep the child at home, do seem rather callous.

His reasoning was that he didn't want his daughter, Rebecca, to grow up with a 'mongoloid' brother. Actually, being a sibling of a disabled child need not be all bad. Sure, some siblings have issues, as do any children. In my experience, however, many siblings grow up to be more mature and empathetic than average and a surprising number of them actually go on to work in caring professions.

But serious sibling issues are also going to be raised in Coming Down the Mountain, a new drama by Mark Haddon , which is due to air on Sunday on BBC1. Although I loved Haddon's novel, The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time, I don't think I will watch the film, it just might be too close to home for comfort right now.

It is good to read that in fact it was the husband of Rebecca Miller, Daniel Day-Lewis, who may well have been instrumental in Miller's acceptance of his disabled son at the end of his life and that the son in question, also called Daniel, appears to have grown up to have some success and independence in adulthood. One just wonders what he might have achieved with the support of a loving family in his early years.

Three notable things:

1. The scarf I am knitting is growing and growing...

2. Spotting a solitary and rather over-fed magpie sitting on the garden fence and not forgetting to say 'hello Mr Magpie'!

3. A neighbour doing some gardening for us in return for the pristine bike we gave his son whilst clearing out our garage.

Parenting matters

I was flicking through our newspaper yesterday when my eye was caught by this interview with Dr Tanya Byron, about why she no longer wants to make TV programmes about parenting.

I have to admit that I have enjoyed watching some of her programmes such as House of Tiny Tearaways, as she has always struck me as a professional with a lot of common sense and empathy. But at the same time I can see the point that some parenting programmes can become rather voyeuristic, in the same manner as shows like those of Jeremy Kyle or Jerry Springer.

Of course there have always been childcare gurus...my mother was led by Dr Benjamin Spock, I had books by Penelope Leach and Dr Miriam Stoppard. But the amount of parenting advice that is out there now seems excessive. I'm sure there are far more parenting magazines than there were ten years ago and when you add in TV programmes is it any wonder that parents get confused?

Personally, I believe that successful parenting comes from a mix of common sense and listening to your own instincts. There can be no overall rules, because every child is different and every family has different dynamics. You just have to work out what suits your own circumstances.

Of course I am not a perfect parent myself, but at least I think we can honestly say we have found our own way to raise our children, influenced perhaps by our own upbringings. We try to set a good example in the way that we ourselves behave and the bottom line is that we put the children's needs first.

As simple as that.

Three notable things:

1. Son 1 has spent the whole day out with friends.

2. Son 2 enjoyed his last day at playscheme for this holiday.

3. I did some work today ( just not the bits I was supposed to be doing...)

The path to self-destruction

Drink, drugs, self-harm, domestic violence, there seems to be little that Amy Winehouse is not allegedly involved in. The recent pictures of Amy and her new husband Blake Fielder-Civil, both bloodied and bruised, were shocking yet perhaps not surprising, as her recent performances have been erratic and unreliable...I commented on that at the beginning of the year.

Such a waste of talent. I liked Amy's first album, Frank, but I absolutely adored the latest, Back to Black, which has made her name on both sides of the Atlantic. The girl has the world at her feet if she could just accept help, soon.

Amy's parents-in-law and her father have spoken on the radio this week of the plight of Amy and Blake (click on the links for the transcripts) and there seems to be conflict as to what should be done.

But the truth of the matter is this; Amy and Blake are adults. They have the right to turn down treatment and help, even if doing so ultimately leads to tragedy. Actually even teenagers who are not legally adults cannot be forced to accept treatment they don't want and there is nothing a parent can do about it. The NHS has the right to withdraw services if they are not being accessed consistently. An adult has the right to refuse or to walk out of rehab, and all too many do.

Drink and drugs destroy too many lives, but none of this is new, as Pete Doherty's parents would no doubt tell Amy's. Sometimes all you can do is to sadly stand back and watch them self-destruct.

Three notable things:

1. The crosstrainer arrived at 8am and son 1 has assembled it.

2. I didn't damage the car I nudged into when reversing out of a parking space yesterday...

3. ...and I started to tackle the ironing mountain when I got home!

My bank holiday weekend

While everyone else was out enjoying themselves in the sun, I was working on Sunday and Monday. You know, the sort of work you do to pay the bills.

Most of you are probably not aware that I am a qualified accountant. I haven't worked in an accountancy practice for almost 16 years and frankly I have no intention of ever returning, but I do keep my hand in a little by preparing the accounts for my husband's business. He pays me for my work, it is all legitimate and the work is done from home. This means I can work my hours very flexibly around the needs of the boys.

Every year the company's books are audited in September and every year I end up in a mad panic at the end of the summer, working over the bank holiday, tearing my hair out as to whether I can meet the deadline.

Why do I put myself through it? I know when things have to be completed yet somehow there is so often something more important to do. Such as Open University study, unpaid voluntary work or just surfing the internet. All those things which don't pay. Even when I try to clear whole days for work something goes wrong...an unexpected appointment to attend or Hubby forgets to bring the right paperwork home the night before. He works in Central London so I can't easily just rush round to get what I need.

Anyway for the next three weeks or so I will be tapping away on my calculator ( or at least I will when son 2 goes back to school next week.) I will be swearing when the figures don't balance and I may not get on here quite as regularly as usual.

Just doing the accounts will remind me that the part of accountancy I actually enjoyed was getting out and meeting people as an auditor. It was never the figures. It will also reinforce my gut feeling that I am temperamentally much more suited to writing, even if I never make a penny from it.

Three notable things:

1. Finally getting some figures to balance yesterday after spending days thinking perhaps I was going mad.

2. Not having to work today because I spent most of the day being Mum's Taxi service.

3. Persuading Son 1 to go to his therapy today when he didn't really want to, but then his therapist being really pleased with the work they did.

Young adult fiction

I have been thinking about the phenomena of 'young adult' fiction. To be honest I am not sure I really understand what differentiates between young adult, crossover and adult fiction. Is it just the age of the protagonist or is it the style in which it is written? Are some young adult books just dumbed-down fiction aimed at older teenagers with poor literacy skills?

Don't get me wrong, I think there are many great children's/crossover books out there...Jacqueline Wilson, J K Rowling and Meg Rosoff spring to mind for starters as good contemporary authors who would encourage young people to read and I know there are many others I have not even read...Michael Morpurgo, Eoin Colfer etc. I would be very interested to learn more about what publishers consider to be young adult fiction, even though I don't think I am likely to write any myself.

What did I read as a teenager? Certainly there were 'coming of age' stories... the Anne of Green Gables series, I Capture the Castle, Bonjour Tristesse to name a few. But all of these were originally written for a wider general market and none of them were 'contemporary' when I was a teenager in the ...umm...1970's. Then of course there were American classics such as The Catcher in the Rye. I also remember reading The Go-Between, Love for Lydia, some Carson McCullers. The only novel I can actually recall which might have been truly written for the young adult market was called 'Fifteen' by Beverly Cleary, an American writer.

Of course we also read the commercial hits of the day. As a keen rider I enjoyed the Dick Francis racing mysteries. I lapped up Agatha Christie's gentle crime fiction and Dennis Wheatley's occult novels. I loved Anya Seton's wonderfully detailed historical novels. I ploughed through The Hobbit and Lord of the Rings, devoured Watership Down and cried over Love Story. I tackled thick sagas by Susan Howatch and read some Catherine Cookson. I think I even read a fair number of the James Bond novels. By the end of my teens I was starting on feminist novels.

Perhaps the scope of my reading was limited by where I grew up...a small isolated town with only a tiny library and just a couple of shops selling paperback books. But I seem to remember that we got our 'teenage' information and entertainment from magazines...the classic Jackie magazine and later Cosmopolitan. We didn't need books written specially for us as well, because we were, on the whole, already mature and educated enough to read adult fiction.

Is the new trend for young adult fiction just a clever marketing trick or is it actually needed to get young people to read at all?

Three notable things:

1. It is warm and sunny today!

2. The garage has been cleaned and tidied, mats are laid on the floor to create the new 'gym' area.

3. A leisurely wander around town this afternoon, finishing with a cold drink in Starbucks.

Nice Matters

Graeme has nominated me for this Nice Matters blog award. I have to admit I had never seen this one before, so with the help of Google I discovered that it originated here and this is what the originator, Genevieve Olsen, has to say about it:

This award will be awarded to those that are just nice people , good blog friends and those that inspire good feelings and inspiration! Those that care about others that are there to lend support or those that are just a positive influence in our blogging world!

Wow, I'm flattered that Graeme thinks I deserve it! Now, who to pass it on to?

I can honestly say that the writers of all the blogs that I read regularly are equally deserving of this award. After a lot of thought, I have decided to nominate the lovely Sue at Tea, Friends and Chocolate, who runs a multi-sectioned blog for women which is just like meeting up with your best friends. She even welcomes other writers penning columns or entries for her blog and I'm sure it will continue to grow as a blogging community.

Step up to accept your well-deserved award, Sue!

Three notable things:

1. Surviving another week of the school holiday...

2. ... and there is only one more week to get through.

3. Being given another blog award!

Mind your language

I was commenting on Keris' blog earlier, when I was reminded of something amusing which happened recently.

Every Saturday morning during term time Son 2 goes to music therapy. Usually both Hubby and I take him together. Now to appreciate this, you have to realise that Son 2 is 13, severely autistic and nonverbal, except for the occasional utterance of 'Daddy'.

Anyway, this particular Saturday morning was very wet. We were in Hubby's car and Son 2 kept opening the window, a new habit of his. He is not supposed to for safety reasons of course, but especially not on a day like that when the wind was blowing the rain into the car through the glassless space.

He opened the window. Hubby pulled in and stopped the car until the window was shut. We set off and about 3 minutes later he opened the window again. We stopped. This pattern continued 4 or 5 times until we were not far from our destination. The window was finally closed yet again, son 2's fun spoilt. Hubby pulled out into the traffic, to the accompaniment of a barrage of 'jargon' ( not clear words) from Son 2, which sounded very much like a string of verbal abuse, ending in the clear word 'Daddy'!

How normal is that for a teenager?

Three notable things:

1. Not doing any paid accountancy work today, but having the excuse that I was chauffeuring the boys around for much of the day.

2. Shopping at Waitrose for a treat!

3. Getting a phone call to say Son 1's crosstrainer will arrive next week.

Love it!

I was feeling rather serious this morning and had planned to write something completely different, but having had a friend around for a good gossip this afternoon, I thought I just had to show you this picture I took on my visit to Devon.

The name is so perfect for the sleepy retirement resort in which it is situated!

Three notable things:

1. Winning 115 kids videos and a tv/video combi for £20 on eBay, which Hubby collected yesterday. Son 2 is in his element...

2. Enjoying the company of a good friend and her daughter.

3. Graeme showing the OU A215 survivors yet another addictive computer game to act as a displacement activity when we should be writing...

Male or female?

Still on the gender theme, here is a bit of fun.

I discovered the Gender Genie web page recently ( sorry, I can't remember who led me to it...) and having bookmarked it, I decided to have a go today. It claims to be able to deduce whether a piece of prose was written by a male or female from the language used.

So I entered in one of my blog entries: male. Hmm.

A small ( admittedly smaller than the recommended 500 word) passage from my novel in progress: androgynous...equally male and female!

A whole 2000 word short story, written with the women's magazine market in mind: female. Phew!

Three notable things:

1. Son 2 was well enough to go to playscheme despite having vomited all over the sofa last night! I knew we bought leather furniture for a reason...

2. Arranging for a friend to visit tomorrow so we can catch up on the gossip.

3. A home delivery arriving promptly for once, rather than 10 minutes before the end of the delivery window.

Gender wars

I keep wondering why women aren't allowed to write, or read, what they want to.

First of all Muriel Gray, in her role as chair of the Orange Prize judges, criticized women for not writing a wide enough range of fiction and for concentrating on domestic themes.

Then Ian Rankin noted last year that women, especially lesbian women, wrote more graphically violent crime fiction than men. The reponse from Val McDermid at Edinburgh this month led to this uncharacteristically lurid headline in The Times this week.

I have always enjoyed crime fiction and apparently women are the largest group reading this genre. Women get criticized for reading and writing chick lit, but whilst I would defend anyone's right to do so, there are also many of us writing and reading more broadly. Science fiction, fantasy, crime all have many women authors and fans. In any case 'women's fiction' covers a much wider range than just chick lit. Romance, sagas, historical, family stories, gritty contemporary themes...they are all there too.

You can't have it both ways. Why shouldn't women write violent crime? After all some men write romances and sagas, they just tend to do so under a female pseudonym. And since when has a sexuality of a crime writer, whether male or female, had anything to do with anything?

Three notable things:

1. The X-Factor is back!

2. Hubby and son 1 started to tidy out the garage ready to house the crosstrainer I have just ordered.

3. They found a box of to-be-read books I had forgotten about!

The weaker sex?

This is going to be a serious post, because last night I heard some bad news. The husband of an acquaintance has had a breakdown, after suffering from depression for a long time.

This was particularly sad, because this couple have three young children, one of whom is autistic. It was also devastating because it was the second friend who has suffered that experience in just a few years, another having been left as a single mother to four children, one autistic.

Earlier this week I mentioned Charlotte Moore's book George and Sam which chronicles life with two autistic sons...and a third who doesn't have autism. Her ex-husband too, suffered serious mental health issues.

It is interesting that in each of these cases it is the father who has suffered the most and I wondered why. When you discover your child is not 'normal', whatever that means, there is always a period of grieving to go through, grief for the child you once expected. Denial is a normal and recognised part of that. Some parents get through the stage of denial and on to the all important acceptance of the child and the problem much faster than others. Some never quite make it.

Mothers still tend to be the primary providers of childcare. This has good and bad sides. They are more involved with the professionals working with their children and therefore tend to be more knowledgeable about what help is on offer and what needs to be done to get it, as sadly we have to fight for that help only too often. They probably have more opportunities to meet other parents in the same position. I am sure it is no coincidence that our support group coffee mornings are almost exclusively attended by mums. On the other hand, they probably have far more exposure to 'normally' developing children and the comparison with their own offspring can be very painful.

Fathers tend to suffer alone. They may be ashamed to tell friends and work colleagues about their child's problems. They just don't have the same external support networks as we do. They may feel inadequate because this, unlike a DIY task, is not something they can put right and they may be struggling to keep the family afloat financially on one salary. They may be embarrassed to be seen with their child and are perhaps more likely to be influenced by cultural attitudes to disability.

Part of motherhood, for most women, is putting your child's needs before your own. We tend to have a primeval instinct to look after our children and accept the compromises that can involve. If we feel we are not coping we are more likely to consult our GP. Many women with special needs children are, or have been, on anti-depressants and that is nothing to be ashamed of. Men, on the other hand, may just adopt what I call the 'head in the sand' approach, that if you don't acknowledge something it will go away. Perhaps they really are the weaker sex because they can't ease the burden by sharing as women do.

I'm clutching at straws here. I don't know the answer. I just know that in this respect I have so far been lucky, unlike my two friends who are now struggling to cope with their children effectively alone.

Three notable things will return next time!

Do you want to know a secret?

I've already written here about PostSecret, a blog I try to check every week. A community art project, consisting of weekly postings of postcards which anonymously disclose deep secrets, it is an amazing source of inspiration for writing. Especially if, like me, your writing tends to focus on gritty rather than light and fluffy subject matter.

This week I logged on, to find that the blog now has this YouTube video trailer:


A closer look at YouTube finds even more, presumably unofficial, videos based on former PostSecret blog entries. Enjoy.

(video removed)

Three notable things:

1. Son 1 has started to open up to professionals about the bullying that has ruined his life.

2. We have been looking online for gym equipment, as we hope to convert part of our garage into a home gym to help him get fit again.

3. Finding PostSecret based videos on YouTube. Now why didn't I think to look there before?

Quiet

Sorry, I don't have much of interest to write about at the moment. We are all feeling a little under the weather and very tired.

Yesterday son 2 had a longer day on playscheme, as they went out on a trip (shame about the rain!) After food shopping, I just couldn't face doing anything much and mainly lazed around until it was time to collect him again...

I have, however, taken delivery of a few more books from Amazon, including Electricity by Ray Robinson which looks interesting and The Complete Polysyllabic Spree by Nick Hornby. As you may know, Nick Hornby also has an autistic son, and I was interested to read his comments on why he rarely reads biographical books on autism (p39 if you have the Penguin paperback) as it so reflects my own feelings. So many books just look at the story of an autistic savant ( with special talents) or tell the story of a family who has discovered a 'miracle cure'. Real life for 99% of families is not like that. He did, however, enjoy 'George and Sam' by Charlotte Moore, as did I. Although I am not convinced by the ABA approach used by Charlotte Moore and indeed Nick Hornby with their children, the book is an entertaining and convincing picture of living with autism.

Three notable things:

1. Agreeing with Nick Hornby about many books on autism!

2. Son 1 sorting out his own appointments and starting to take charge of his life.

3. More wool arriving in the post yesterday...

Weekend creativity

Just to prove that I can have some pretension to my new creative blogger award, here is a picture of the scarf I am knitting, which currently measures about 30 inches (75cm) long.

I found a free pattern for the feather and fan design on the web and although it looks complicated it is actually very easy to knit! For those who understand these things it is a simple pattern over four rows, knitted in hand-dyed BFL sock wool on 4.5mm needles.

Three notable things:

1. The speed at which the knitting is growing.

2. Finishing the Anita Shreve book I was reading on and off. One of her best, I thought.

3. Keeping both boys reasonably happy all day today (so far)!

Another poem

Some new work has recently been posted on WikidWords, including another of my poems which you can find here. That poem was inspired by the research I have done on mental health issues in young people, both for my recently ended Open University course and for family reasons, and also by a true story I was recently told.

Three notable things:

1.Surprisingly, Tesco was not too busy on a Saturday morning - so it was easy to park!

2. Enjoying walking round the shops in town without feeling the need to spend money on myself. Not even on a magazine.

3. I've started my knitting.

A new look

I was reading a post on the Open University writing forums earlier today about how writing on screen is more restful to read when it is not stark black on white. I immediately thought about this blog and whether it could do with a facelift.

The OU used to run a short course about writing for the internet, which I really wanted to take. I had planned to do it this year, but sadly it seems to have been discontinued. Just my luck. So I will have to carry on picking up tips from others and experimenting.

What do you think of the new look? I have actually only made two changes but I am pleased with the result, it does seem softer. Please let me know how you find it to read.

Three notable things:

1. Playing around with the colours on my blog.

2. Buying and reading a magazine when I should have been doing housework.

3. Reading Anita Shreve's 'A Wedding in December' and wondering what it would be like to have a reunion with some old university friends I haven't seen for many, many years.

Booker longlist

The longlist for this year's Booker Prize has just been announced. I've read only one of them, What was Lost, though I do also want to read the McEwan, as I have enjoyed what I have read of his work so far.

I was interested in this article, and in particular this quote:

Last night the chair of judges, Sir Howard Davies, said: "All the books chosen are well crafted and will appeal to a wide readership." Sir Howard is director of the London School of Economics.

I'm glad that the books chosen should appeal to a wide readership because being well written and being accessible to the general reader should not be mutually exclusive. That is one of my pet topics I'm afraid. I don't like overly dry or intellectual books but at the same time I do find that quite a lot of popular fiction can be simplistic and poorly written.

'What was Lost' was entertaining and definitely well crafted, yet also remarkably easy to read. It has received very good blog reviews, such as this one by dovegreyreader and has been described by some as a crossover novel with appeal to both the adult and young adult markets in the manner of Meg Rosoff and JK Rowling.

I am ashamed to say I haven't even heard of the rest of the longlist. Ho hum!

Three notable things:

1. Hearing the singer Jack Savoretti, a singer new to me, on TV yesterday and later downloading his album cheaply.

2. An interesting conversation with son 1's therapist yesterday.

3. Finding that the magnetic bracelet, recently bought to help my arthritis, actually seems to be having a beneficial effect on my mood and is making me feel calmer. Not an easy achievement during school holiday.

Oh my!

Hellojed has nominated me for a creative blogger award! How exciting is that?

So now it is my turn to award it to five people. After a really difficult decision-making process, because you, my favourite bloggers, are all so creative, I have come up with the following:

1. Anne Brooke, because Anne blogs with humour and brutal honesty about her life and the highs and lows of being a writer. It is a must-read for me every day and I think right now an award would cheer her up.

2.Three Beautiful Things. The concept of Clare's blog is so simple yet also profound. It has spawned many imitators (all welcomed) including my own three notable things. Now she has won a literary competition and the blog is going to become a loo book!

3.Nerd Bunny, who seems to be able to turn her hands to so many creative crafts and posts the results on her blog for us all to enjoy.

4.The fabulous Rilly Super at Strife in the North, whose blog never fails to make me laugh, simply because it is such a clever parody of the Wife in the North blog, which I also enjoy.

5.Last, but not least, I would like to nominate my wonderfully talented fellow OU A215 creative writing students of last year, many of whom also now blog. There are far too many to mention individually, so I shall give the award to WikidWords and hope that Jude will accept it on behalf of those writers represented there and those elsewhere.


Three notable things:

1. Winning a blog award. Thanks Hellojed!

2. Choosing five more creative blogs to receive the award.

3. Oh and did I already say winning a blog award?

The postman's knock

I needed a little treat today after son 2 decided to start my day at 5.30am. So I was pleased when my sari silk yarns from eBay arrived in the post. They are very pretty but unfortunately I think they are probably too thick for the purpose I had in mind. Still they will not go to waste. I will either think of somthing else to knit or crochet with them, something chunkier, or I will use them in my papercrafting.

Then mid-morning the doorbell rang and a parcel from The Book People was handed over. Some reference books and a pile of sale priced fiction. So if you'll excuse me I am off for a quick read...

Three notable things:

1. The beautiful weather over the weekend, though it was actually too hot whilst ironing yesterday.

2. A refreshing mango drink in Starbucks on Saturday afternoon.

3. Receiving our child tax credits notification and realising that they have got it wrong yet again, even though they have been informed of a change in circumstances twice already. Fortunately it is unlikely to make any difference to what we get paid, but the tax credits people must rival the Child Support Agency for incompetence!

What have I done now...?

Yesterday I got a sudden urge to knit or crochet something. I'm not sure why, I have never been a good knitter and I haven't crocheted for years.

I was stuck in all day, so whilst surfing around eBay I started to look at some hand dyed yarns. Very pretty. But what could I do with them?

Years ago, whilst spending the year abroad of my degree in Germany, where knitting was more fashionable than it was in the UK, I knitted a couple of sweaters. They were very basic, but the wool was fluffy and soft-coloured. They were wearable, at least for a student.

Pregnant with son 1, I knitted a few baby items. Even my mother, who is not known for her needle skills, picked up her pins and produced some much needed premature-sized cardigans. But it was my clever sister who came up trumps with the most beautiful and complex knitted heirloom baby shawl.

When son 1 was small I knitted a few trendy jackets for him in primary-coloured baby aran, but by the time son 2 came along I had no time. I knitted nothing further until two years ago, when I picked up a kit for a very simple fluffy scarf. I started it during our family holiday in Devon, but son 2 kept pulling it back faster than I could knit. It was never finished as the wool became rather mangled.

I was up until 1am last night looking for patterns on the web. This morning I succumbed and ordered some of the hand dyed wools. This evening I have ordered some yarn created from recycled sari silk which I hope will blend in. Not large quantities of either, but hopefully enough to create a scarf.

But don't hold your breath.This wool may just end up clogging up the spare bedroom with the rest of my craft stash...

Three notable things:

1. Ordering some colourful yarns to indulge my creative urges and experiment with.

2. Working out why I could not get the symbol writing computer program to do what I wanted (I use it to produce communication cards for Son 2.)

3. Reading a lovely description of the challenges and joys of living with an autistic child on Crystal Jigsaw's blog.

Summer fun?

It must be summer at last. The sun is shining and the blogs are quiet. Friends are away on their summer holidays. Our wi-fi has been playing up over the last few days as if to say you should be out enjoying yourself rather than stuck inside on the computer.

Son 1 and I have just been watching a piece on the BBC London news about why kids don't play outside in the park anymore.

'We would hang out in the parks if there weren't drug dealers in each one,' he said.

Three notable things:

1. Son 2 waking us up at 4.45 am yesterday! (Though he did go back to bed)

2. Son 1 and his mates having the sense to stay away from the drug pushers.

3. Not receiving any bills in the post for the last few days!

Psychic cats

A footnote to the story of Oscar the psychic cat which was one of my three notable things last Thursday. Nerd Bunny dropped in to tell me that there is a cat with a similar gift at the hospice where she works. There must be something in this. Does anyone else know a psychic animal? I wonder what these cats pick up on...smell or atmosphere, or are they really psychic?

I have decided to take a short Open University course in writing plays this autumn in preparation for the level three course due to launch next year, which will apparently feature scriptwriting as well as the more familiar fiction, poetry and life writing. The short courses are very enjoyable...I have already done the courses in fiction and poetry...and an excellent starting point for any aspect of writing.

Three notable things:

1. Contacting an old OU tutor via Facebook and getting a lovely note back.

2. Working on the blog which supports my fledgling work-in-progress novel.

3. Not losing my new titanium magnetic bracelet in a store on Saturday. I caught the catch and it fell off but I quickly realised it had gone and found it on the floor.

Silly season

It's school holidays again. I shall be largely confined to home for the next five weeks with just odd days off for good behaviour when son 2 is at playscheme.

This may be a Good Thing.

I may get lots written. On the other hand, the house will be noisy, very noisy, and the kids will demanding. So I may not.

So I started the holiday as I mean to go on, by wasting time creating a WeeMee which will become my new face on the web, as I hate having my photo taken. What do you think of it?

To make matters worse I have just opened an account on Facebook, which I fear could become another big distraction. Over the Christmas holidays I joined MySpace and have made lots of mainly writer friends there. Some of those are already on Facebook and I am sure that, with all the publicity it is currently getting, more and more people will be signing up. I used to think that these sites were just for kids but actually they are quite a good way to network, in a similar manner to the blogging world. So I can add social networking sites to various forums and blogs on which I seem to spend half my day. No wonder the housework doesn't seem to get done very often...

But...I need some more Facebook friends as Anne is feeling lonely. If any of you are on there, please come and say hello.

Three notable things:

1. Yet more book browsing and buying in town yesterday, followed by two free cups of Earl Grey tea in the Debenhams Goldcard lounge.

2. Son 2 bringing home an excellent end of term report. He is really making progress in most areas except reading and writing. So he doesn't take after his Mum then!

3. Son 2's video and dvd players both packing up at the start of the holiday. Hubby will have to go on a replacement mission to Currys tomorrow!

My day

I'm feeling rather tired this evening, so I think I will just sum up my day in three notable things:

1. Reading a couple of good short stories by Rose Tremain and James Lasdun whilst waiting at the clinic for son 1. Both stories were shortlisted for the National Short Story Prize 2006 and the Lasdun tale won.

2. Having a lunch of lovely home-cooked Indian vegetarian food with friends.

3. Watching a news report about Oscar the 'psychic' cat in Rhode Island.

WikidWords

WikidWords is a new blog of poems and flash fiction by a group of writers, both previously published and not yet published elsewhere, who were part of the first Open University A215 Creative Writing course last year.

Do go and take a look at just some of the talent of the class of 2006...and I'm not only saying that because Jude, the editor, has kindly published one of my own poems on it! I hope that in due course I will be able to produce more pieces of work good enough for this group. In fact I may even submit the poem I wrote yesterday when I have finished polishing it up.

Three notable things:

1. Realising that I had missed an appointment yesterday but being able to arrange another with no hassle.

2. Book browsing in charity shops this morning and buying Birthday Letters by Ted Hughes.

3. Having a poem published on Wikidwords!

Thoughts on the floods

So I was inconvenienced by the floods on Friday. But at least I got back and had a dry home to return to. Watching pictures on the BBC news of the floods this summer, first those up in the north and now those in the west and south of the country, really started me thinking about how we, as a family, would cope in such a situation.

How would an autistic child, or adult, even to begin to understand what was going on? Son 2 would have no concept of the dangers of the flood water or the need to conserve power and drinking water. Son 1, being agoraphobic, would find evacuating the house very hard, even in an emergency. They would both be devastated to loose possessions.

It is a scary thought.

Three notable things:

1. Writing a poem today. I don't often get the urge to write a poem, but I was inspired by something I heard yesterday.

2. Sorting out a set of symbols for son 2 to use as a communication aid this summer.

3. It was a warm, dry day and I didn't go out at all. Why not?

Shipwreck!

I don't think my parents could quite believe my fascination with the wrecked MSC Napoli. To the locals in East Devon it is a nuisance, a source of beach pollution and a hindrance to the vital tourist trade. It has to go, yet earlier attempts to refloat it had been unsuccessful due to damage sustained during the storm which resulted in it being beached. It has languished distantly on the horizon surrounded by tugs and other vessels belonging to the salvage company, whilst on the beaches locals and opportunists fought to salvage the contents of containers which washed ashore. The whole saga made the national news media which is unusual for the often sleepy and insular South West.

On the day I arrived in Devon the Napoli was to be blown into two parts which could be towed away separately for safety. That evening we piled into the car and drove up to a vantage point on the cliffs to observe the results of the operation. The ship was resolutely still in one piece.

The next day I, along with many others, watched it from the promenade and tried to take photos...sadly it was really too distant for the zoom lens on my old camera ( the above is from Wikipedia!) That afternoon more depth charges were used. Still the Napoli remained intact. It must have been better built than anyone had anticipated. About an hour after I left town two days later, a third attempt was successful. See the Napoli being dismantled here. I missed it all.

I think my interest arose from the fact that, back in the 1980's, I used to lead a team auditing a shipbroker. My client introduced me to the world of merchant shipping and took me to visit the old Baltic Exchange, where brokers still matched ships with cargo loads by bartering on an exchange floor. A piece of history which has disappeared since the Baltic Exchange was blown up by an IRA bomb and city trading became electronic. It is such a shame that the historic building was not restored.

Three notable things:

1. Visiting a friend I don't see often enough and catching up with lots of gossip.

2. Buying the new, and final, Harry Potter book.

3. Making the most of the fact that Son 2's school holiday starts a whole week later than most other children's!

Devon interlude

It was a quiet, relaxing time. My parents live in a wellknown retirement and tourist resort with a promenade and attractive little shops and, in the distance, the intiguing sight of the beached and wrecked MSC Napoli. More on that later, but if you look very carefully in this photo you might just spot its shape on the horizon.

The two whole days down there were largely spent pottering around the shops and being taken out for coffee by my mother. Going out for coffee is a big social event in that little town. On the second day we all went out for lunch in a nearby inland village and then on to walk for a while in another tiny resort.

My parents are not getting any younger, so evenings were spent quietly at home. I had taken several books to read, yet barely started them. Instead our time was spent looking at old photos and family trees, trying to piece together my heritage, and just chatting.

Three notable things:

1. Enjoying being beside the sea once again.

2. Exploring the local charity shops and buying books by Lorrie Moore and Mary Gordon. In fact I could have bought several more books if I had been able to carry them back to London, but I like to travel light!

3. A lovely lunch in a restaurant where, for most of the time, I was the youngest client by at least ten years!

I'm back...but only just

It was warm and sunny in Devon. Honestly. You would never believe how the weather could change so suddenly causing terrible floods. I spent a few days relaxing with my family and sleeping a lot. I hadn't realised how tired I was until I actually got away.

The journey down on a First Great Western train should have been fine, but halfway there it was announced that the train was to be diverted via Bath and Bristol, due to a vehicle having hit a railway bridge, thus preventing trains using the normal route. This was to add 45 minutes to the journey. Bath and Bristol having been passed through, the train slowed almost to a halt and crawled along for miles in the Bridgewater area. This, apparently, was due to reports of people walking alongside the line. We finally arrived in Exeter about 75 minutes late, my parents having been waiting for me at the station for all that time. I was just glad that son 1 had decided not to travel with me, as he would have been very stressed out.

When it was time to travel home yesterday, I was relieved to see the train arrive dead on time at Exeter. I was disappointed to find my carriage noisy and dirty, crowded with teenagers returning from surfing holidays in North Cornwall. But that was just the start. About half an hour into the journey an announcement came over the tannoy that the train was to be diverted to Bristol, where it would terminate, due to flooding on the lines in the Newbury and Didcot areas. The train manager didn't know how anyone would be able to travel on to London.

At Bristol we all piled out with our luggage and sought information. There was already another London-bound train stranded there and nobody seemed to know what was happening. Eventually a rumour went around that there was one train due to go to London via a southern route, but it would take about four hours. It was a small train and by the time I got there all the seats were taken and people were fighting to get on. I managed to secure myself a standing space in the region of the door, with a piece of wall to lean against and my luggage at my feet. It was like the London Underground in rush hour as we all crammed in together and in typical British fashion we even managed to have a bit of a laugh about it, despite some fraying tempers.

It was a long way to London. I was glad that I had a bottle of water, some painkillers and a flapjack with me. By the time we reached London Waterloo station over four hours later, having taken the long scenic route through via Salisbury and Basingstoke, I was exhausted and feeling quite wobbly. I still had to cross London on the Underground and even that had delays due to the floods. I finally got home at about 8.30pm instead of about 4.30pm, just glad that I had been able to get back to London at all in the flood crisis.

I have travelled between London, Reading and Exeter many, many times over the last thirty years and these were by far the worst journeys I have ever had. To be fair the problems were the fault of freak occurrences rather than the train companies, though the level of communication provided to travellers, especially at Bristol Temple Mead station, was very bad.

More about my very short holiday next time, when three notable things will return!

School's out for summer...

K272 is done and dusted. I think the exam paper took most people by surprise as the questions seemed quite vague. Still, one of my favourite subjects did come up and I managed to waffle on for the whole three hours, so I did what I could, though I suspect it was quantity rather than quality. Now I am going to put the books away and hopefully never look at them again!

Anyway, to celebrate I am off to the seaside for a few days break. Back on Friday, though I might not be back on the blog until the weekend. Enjoy the rest of the week, everyone!

Three notable things:

1. Going back to old haunts...taking my exam at the Bishopsgate Institute where I took accountancy exams over 20 years ago.

2. Seeing how Liverpool Street station has been redeveloped and remembering standing outside it in the old days to catch the bus home to Hackney.

3. Looking forward to seeing my parents tomorrow, for the first time in almost a year.

It's tomorrow...

The time has come. By 1pm tomorrow the exam will all be over.

I have been revising. I do broadly understand most of the themes of the course but I can't retain the names of any of the theorists. I know I haven't put enough work into this course but circumstances and, if I am to be honest, laziness have been against me.

Three questions in three hours. I will just have to hope that some of the topics that I have practical experience of come up so that I can waffle my way through.

Good luck to anyone else sitting the Open University K272 exam tomorrow!

Three notable things:

1. No more studying after tomorrow (at least until the next course!)

2. No exam nerves yet, because I don't give a damn. I've learnt what I needed to, the result is immaterial.

3. Planning a visit to my parents later in the week.

Bookarazzi

A fabulous new website called Bookarazzi has just been launched.

It is the public face of a group of nearly 50 bloggers belonging to the private BloggersWithBookDeals forum, all of whom have either published a book or currently have a book contract. The group includes a number of my own favourite bloggers, some of whom are also members of the Novel Racers group I recently joined, but for a full list and links to the individual blogs of the writers, see here.

The site contains articles, links and advice, a group blog and of course the opportunity for the members to promote their own work. I think it will be well worth keeping an eye on, so do go and take a look.

My new ambition is to be able to become a member of this elite group of bloggers, but I think I have some way to go yet!

Three notable things:

1. Looking forward to getting back to the writing next week.

2. Just avoiding most of the rain whilst doing a supermarket shop with son 1 this morning.

3. Son 2 coming home with two certificates from sports week, as he is the least sporty child you could imagine!

Writing dialogue

Today I was revising for most of the day. It actually went quite well, mainly because I was looking at topics I already know a bit about, namely mental health issues in childhood and old age and also in a dual diagnosis alongside disability.

So why was it that my mind kept straying to the totally unrelated topic of writing dialogue? I think it is because I spend quite a lot of time on various writers websites, where people post their work for criticism. Obviously some of this writing is very good, some less so. One of the things I have noticed recently from the work of others is how hard it is to write good dialogue and how hung up some people seem to get on supposed 'rules'.

Rules such as stick to 'say/said' as your speech tags rather than try to be clever, so as not to distract the reader. Don't use adverbs after your speech tags. Well to my mind there is nothing wrong with these suggestions, but they should not be prescriptive. I have seen passages of dialogue which were little more than short sentences with 'he said/she said' tagged on the end. Sometimes it just seems too choppy and infantile. Surely a little variation in structure and speech tags would be better? As for adverbs, yes in general it is not good to have too many -ly words. But I can't see anything wrong with writing '....he said quietly', for example.

Who has actually made these so-called rules and why do some novice writers feel they have to folllow them to the letter? Is this what agents/publishers are looking for in commercial fiction? I've done two university creative writing courses and the only 'dialogue rules' we were taught were in respect of the layout and punctuation of dialogue. It was recommended that remembering 'show not tell' will help avoidance of adverbs, but at no time was it said you should never ever use one in your writing.

Any writers out there got any views on this?

Three notable things:

1. Getting on well with the revision (as time is running out...)

2. Thinking about going away for a few days next week.

3. The sun has been shining!

How weird is this?

I confess that I am seemingly untidy and disorganised. But most of the time I do actually know where to find anything important.

Not this week though. I remembered receiving an examination allocation letter from the Open University several weeks ago. I knew I had put it on the coffee table and then into a cardboard box which currently stands beside the coffee table and contains an eclectic mix of books, magazines, correspondence, study materials and other things to be read or dealt with.

At the weekend I decided to dig out the letter in preparation for my exam next Monday. It wasn't there. I went through the box thoroughly, looked on the coffee table shelf and under the sofa, checked any other places I might put such things for safety. No letter.

I decided it wasn't worth stressing over. On Monday morning I phoned the Open University and told a little white lie about it probably having been lost in the post, because it was just too embarrassing to explain it had been lost in my lounge. A very nice lady said she would put a copy in the post immediately. It arrived this morning.

So why, when I came to sit down on the sofa just a few minutes ago, did I find the original letter, still in its plastic packaging, lying on the floor right beside my feet? Is it my mind playing tricks on me or do we have a poltergeist in the house?

Three notable things:

1. Coffee with supportive friends this morning.

2. Spotting a tiny wren sitting on our garden fence.

3. Finding the exam letter!

Wimbledon history

Wasn't the tennis great yesterday?

Apart from Tim Henman's matches in the opening week, yesterday was almost the first time I'd had time to watch much of the ball hitting. What a day to choose. A classic, nail-biting men's final between the record-equalling Federer and young Nadal, followed by a Brit actually winning something. How can that be?

Jamie Murray and his partner Jelena Jankovic did us proud in the mixed doubles final and looked as if they were enjoying it all. Almost too much. Which of course is how Wimbledon should be.

It reminded me of years ago when we had Centre Court tickets for Women's Final day and were privileged to watch Martina Navratilova win her final singles title. It was actually something of a one-sided match but we felt we were seeing history in the making. A wonderful experience, despite the painfully hard seats and the fact that I wasn't feeling too well, so couldn't indulge in any strawberries. It didn't even rain that day!

Three notable things:

1. Great tennis to watch on TV.

2. Managing to sort out what I am going to revise and actually do some revision today.

3. Receiving the correct payment for some teaching work done last month. It's not a lot but I do that particular work for experience rather than the money!

A reminder

As every Saturday, Oxford Street was crowded with people out spending. I had come down to London for my final Open University tutorial but now I was joining the throng of consumers.

But this was no casual, aimless shopping trip. I had two goals...a white T shirt for son 2 who has sports week coming up and a waterproof coat for myself for a planned getaway. I managed to get what I wanted, stopped for a panini at about 2.30pm and then headed back to Bond Street station. The lure of Oxford Street had worn off. I did not want to be tempted by the enticing goods in the department stores, to waste money I don't really have.

Back at the tube station I was met by a huge crowd of people exiting up the Jubilee line escalator. There was no obvious reason for their numbers, except trains arriving from both directions at the same time, but my heart was in my mouth. Was there a problem on the underground? I had heard no announcements but there was a significant police presence in the ticket office. Something perhaps to be expected in view of the events of a week ago.

After a couple of minutes wait my train arrived. I was disconcerted, yet at the same time relieved, to see police in both my carriage and the ones on either side of it, yet I had never seen so many on a train before. Again I wondered what was going on. It wasn't until the train started to head northwards that I realised. The train would be passing through Wembley Park station and Wembley Stadium nearby was hosting the huge Live Earth concert that afternoon. That is probably where the police were headed.

I changed trains and got home without incident.We can't let the threat of terrorism stop us living our lives, yet at the same time I think that it is in the back of our minds at all times. Yesterday was the second anniversary of the bombings of 7/7 as well as the occasion of the Live Earth concert and some big sporting events. It was good to see the level of security around our city and transport.

Three notable things:

1. Our local town centre has a Starbucks. At last.

2. Controlling my spending!

3. An encouraging tutorial and meeting with a study-buddy friend I have made through this course.

Shopaholic strikes again

I was only going to the bank, honestly. Not my usual bank, but the one used by the local charity group for which I am treasurer. I had cheques to pay in.

Next door to the bank is an Oxfam shop. Well I couldn't resist, could I? So I came away with Five Quarters of the Orange by Joanne Harris and The Magic Toyshop by Angela Carter for my bookshelf. I have never read any Angela Carter and I think it is about time I did.

I also bought this book, which I had never heard of before - Let the Crazy Child Write! by Clive Matson. My library of 'how to write' books is growing rapidly. Now all I need to do is apply the knowledge I am collecting!

Today's three notable things:

1. Finding good books in a small charity shop.

2. Laughing at son 2 covered in my make-up, just before his school bus arrived.

3. Doing no paid work or study and not feeling at all guilty about that.

A brave man

I woke up very early this morning and switched on BBC News 24, to be greeted by the information that the Corporation's abducted Gaza reporter, Alan Johnston, had been freed after 114 days in captivity. He had apparently spent this time in solitary confinement, unsure if he was going to be harmed. His spirits were raised by the realisation, through hearing BBC World service radio broadcasts, that he had not been forgotten, that people all over the world were demonstrating, campaigning and working for his freedom.

What was absolutely amazing was the composure he showed on his release, making live phone calls back to the BBC studio and speaking at televised press conferences. He had been through a terrible ordeal, yet seemed to have kept himself together remarkably well. I have always thought that to be a journalist one needs to be both brave and thick-skinned. To be a journalist in a place of conflict requires both in abundance. Alan Johnston today showed remarkable courage both as a man and a consummate professional.

Three notable things:

1. A squirrel running along the garden fence.

2. The jewel coloured floral sari worn by a friend.

3. The welcome release of Alan Johnston.

Exam stress

Two weeks today I am supposed to be sitting an Open University exam. I haven't done enough work for it. I haven't even started to revise. It will be nothing short of a miracle if I pass. So shall I even bother to turn up?

I keep telling myself that it doesn't matter if I fail to complete the course, after all I was taking it simply to increase my knowledge of mental health issues in view of our family circumstances. What I have learned has already proved useful in real life. The exam doesn't matter.

Yet it is a matter of pride that I have never yet flunked out of taking an exam or test. I've failed a few...driving test and a few of my accountancy papers...but at least I persevered and passed them in the end. So I expect two weeks today I will turn up at the exam hall, praying that at least one of the few topics of which I have some practical knowledge turns up on the exam paper. Who knows, if that happens I might just be able to get by.

Three notable things:

1. A young robin, barely able to fly, hopping around outside our front door and taking shelter under the cars from the rain.

2. Watching Take That on the TV coverage of the Concert for Diana, during which the rain miraculously kept away for six hours. (The only other segment I saw was Elton closing the show, though I would loved to have seen Roger Hodgson.)

3. Knowing that terrible tragedies were narrowly averted both here in London and in Glasgow over the last few days and wondering whether guardian angels do exist.

Competition angst

There have been strange goings on over at Susan Hill's Long Barn Books competitions. If you haven't been following the saga of the First Novel Competition on the blogs of Scott Pack, Dovegreyreader and Susan herself, then perhaps this will bring you up to speed. Now it appears that the publisher's 'Loo Book' competition has also hit a snag. Oh dear. I was hoping to be able to enter the First Novel competition one day!

So here are today's three beautiful things, as Sue and Anne have encouraged me to go ahead with the idea. Except that I am going to call them notable rather than beautiful, as a reference to the title of my blog!

1. Sunlight glittering in the leaves right at the top of tall trees, as the sun sets during a brief break from the rain.

2. Strawberry tarts from the local baker.

3. Making pretty bead bracelets.