Festival season

I've always wanted to go to the annual book festival at Hay-on-Wye. I'm pretty sure we did once manage a flying visit to the town whilst on holiday in that part of the world with a group of friends, but it wasn't quite the same as going at festival time.

Then I read this report on the Fictionbitch blog and now I am less sure about the festival. Like so many other events I fear it may be losing its character through diversification and commercialisation. But I still need to get there myself to find out!

Years ago, we did spend part of a day at the Edinburgh book festival, where we attended a debate on female crime fiction between Antonia Fraser and Sara Paretsky, an author whose books I really enjoyed. I haven't read any of Paretsky's books lately, but this week I spotted the news that she has a book of essays just out, which sounds as if it could be fascinating as she is definitely a writer with strong feminist and political convictions.

Cyberbullying

Bullying is everywhere. It is not just something encountered at school, but also in the home, in the workplace, in society and now in cyberspace. It can ruin lives.

Please don't get me wrong, I am a great fan of online communities, which generally are informative, supportive and empowering. However online, like anywhere else, there are people who get their kicks from stirring up trouble and insulting others. There is a big difference between lively debate and personal insults or threats.

Usually we can deal with these 'trolls' just by ignoring them. But what happens when that unwanted attention turns into cyberstalking? Anyone who has ever received abusive comments on their blog or aggressive emails from a stranger (as I did once from an eBay seller) will know how disturbing it can be and how frightening an escalation of such abuse must become.

You may have noticed a small new 'stalker alert' button in my sidebar, just below the picture of Madeleine. Please click on it to see what I am referring to in this post and how you can help, then go straight here for updates.

Update 8/6/07: The cyberstalker is in custody and Rachel has asked that we all remove our buttons.

Rain, rain....

What a washout of a holiday weekend. Just bad luck or yet another sign of global warming?

When I was a child we always had our family holiday at this time of year. My father was a teacher, so holidays had to be taken during school breaks. We lived by the sea anyway, so it was no hardship to be at home for the whole of the long summer holiday and a week at the end of May often provided ideal weather conditions for a break in the UK ( my parents have never been travellers). I don't remember it ever being wet like this.

Luckily we had no special plans for this weekend and we have all spent the last two days indoors, watching the relentless rain through the window and dreaming of sunny days by the sea.

Growing up fast

What is the clearest sign that your angelic little boy is turning into a typical man?

The fact that, for the first time in his life, he has gone out and bought himself a newspaper and it is The Sun?

Or the fact that the TV seems to be constantly tuned into Top Gear on a digital channel?

Help!!

Thinking about writing again

The novel has rather ground to a halt. Not because I have run out of inspiration, but because life has got seriously in the way, as it has a nasty tendency to do around here.

Knowing that the next two months are going to be a hectic mix of work (the sort that pays!), study for my OU course and of course my normal caring duties, which are increasingly complicated at present, I have decided to put the novel to one side until August. Or perhaps not completely to one side.

I still have confidence in my story idea and characters, but I think perhaps I need to do just a little more planning. In the light of that I may well go back and restructure the chapters I have already completed. I think now will be a good time to juggle a few more ideas around without actually having to commit them to paper.

In the meantime, I am doing some more reading on writing. I had heard so much about Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott and even looked at it in Borders one day, yet chose to buy something else. Anyway, this week I got my hands on a cheap copy. So whilst waiting at son 1's clinic appointment yesterday I started to read it and it is so much better than I had expected. Slightly quirky, yes, but great fun.

Then today I received in the post a copy of 'Wannabe a Writer?' by Jane Wenham-Jones, Writing magazine's columnist , which promises to be just as good and is, of course, written from a British point of view. Full of not only Jane's own wisdom, but quotes from many other writers and publishing professionals.

I'm going to enjoy dipping into these books over the long bank holiday weekend.

The Apprentice

Watched The Apprentice last night. What irony that Sir Alan had chosen to give the candidates their task standing in front of the Cutty Sark. It also showed how long ago the programme was filmed as the masts were still in place prior to being removed for the planned restoration which has now become a desperate salvage exercise.

I was sorry to see Jadine go. She was a contestant for whom I had quite a lot of sympathy, for various reasons, and I think she had changed and calmed down a lot as the series progressed. Sir Alan also seemed to have a soft spot for her, he definitely likes candidates who have risen above previous adversity, which in turn gives me hope for son 1's future. ( Not that I'm suggesting he goes to work for Sir Alan, but the general principle that you can be a survivor and embrace future success.)

Apart from that the episode was fairly uneventful. Katie was smug and flirty, rather than bitchy, which reduced the entertainment value no end. I can't even tip an obvious winner. Surely not Tre?

Bl**dy computers

Son 1's new computer arrives today, after being on order for 10 days. No phone call in advance to say it was on its way, so it was lucky I was in, in fact had it arrived 10 or 15 minutes later I wouldn't have been.

He unpacks it carefully and a couple of pieces of plastic fall off the casing. I leave him fixing them back on and about to set it all up. When I get home a few hours later I find a note to say he couldn't get the computer to work, so has gone round to my friend's house. He is a teenage boy, so if he can't get it to work I know I won't be able to.

When he comes home, I take a closer look with him. The casing is clearly not right...it is slightly lopsided and not properly fixed on one side. The drawer of the dvd drive won't open, even though there is power into the system. The monitor has been sent with a two pin continental plug, rather than a three pin British one.

I phone the company, which we have bought from before. The earliest mutually convenient day they can send an engineer is a week hence. It is lucky that son 1's old computer, although on its last legs, is still working well enough for him to play Guild Wars.

This was supposed to be a boost for son 1 after his difficult end to last week. Instead it has just depressed him further. What is more, it has kept up our unfortunate record of almost every desktop we have ever bought arriving with a defect. The only one that didn't was our original Amstrad. Sir Alan must have got something right.

Tourist attractions

The devastating fire on the Cutty Sark, the clipper built in 1869 which has for so long been a leading London tourist attraction, caught my attention yesterday. I am lucky enough to have visited the ship, but it made me think about the fact that, although I have lived in Greater London for almost twenty five years, there are still many tourist attractions I have not visited. Perhaps now is the time to start doing so, because, to quote Joni Mitchell 'you don't know what you've got till its gone'.

I've always been a cultural tourist, the sort of traveller who makes for art galleries and museums, churches and craftsmen's workshops. Yet we are just too busy to appreciate what is on our doorstep, not helped by the fact that due to our circumstances, family excursions are out of the question.

I think a few awaydays on my own might be in order. Surely I must be due some time off for good behaviour?

Maybe...

I wonder if Gordon Brown reads my blog?

Less than two weeks ago I wrote this.

Today this announcement is made.

So Gordon Brown is not Prime Minister yet, but he does hold the purse strings and whilst this is just a drop in the ocean, it is a start. Now please look at also ending the postcode lottery for service provision, Gordon.

For anyone who is interested in the plight of families caring for disabled children, do take a look at the website of the Every Disabled Child Matters campaign.

Angels

This morning I was walking along the main road to collect tasty fresh bread for our lunch from the local baker, as I do almost every Saturday. The sun was shining, life seemed good.

A little ahead of me walked a older lady. In a split second she fell, face down onto the pavement. As I ran forwards to see if she was hurt, she was already picking herself up, yet was shaking and clearly in shock. Blood was smeared on her upper lip.

There was no low wall for her to sit down on, so I stood with my arm around her as she tried to recover herself.

'Shall I call an ambulance for you?'
'No, I don't need one.'
'Is there anyone else I can call?'
'No thanks.'

A kindly Asian man stopped and asked the same questions, but the lady, who was about 60 and not infirm, resolutely refused all help. She had broken her two front teeth landing on her face. I offered to help her get home but she decided she might go straight to her dentist, as she thought he worked on a Saturday morning. I asked which one it was...about 10 minutes walk away, in the direction I was going anyway, so I offered to walk along with her, as I was not convinced she was fit enough to go on her own. There was no obvious reason why she had fallen and I was concerned she might have blacked out briefly. It was one of those occasions when I really wished I had some first aid training.

We had just started to walk forward very cautiously, when I heard a call from the other side of the road. An ambulance was moving slowly along in the traffic.

'Is everything OK?'
'She's had a fall and broken her tooth.'
'Shall we take a look?'

With that they did a U-turn and pulled up right beside us. Jumping out they asked a few questions. The lady repeated that she wanted to see if her dentist was around.

'Let us give you a lift there.'
'Thats a good idea.'

I said it quickly, thinking that if the dentist was not there they might take her on to hospital for a check-up. I left her in their safe hands.

When I emerged from a long wait in the baker's shop, I could see the ambulance still standing outside the dentist's surgery just a little further up the road.

Sometimes I really believe in angels.

A sad goodbye

Son 1 got divorced today. Not literally, of course, because he is not even old enough to get married. But today he lost the relationship which has been probably the most important in his life for almost 12 months. His wonderful mental health keyworker has left for a new job, in a new area.

We have known for weeks that it was going to happen. Two days ago we met the person who will be his new keyworker. But however much he tried to prepare himself, it is like a bereavement. His keyworker has pulled him back from the brink of suicide, has been a support and confidant, has helped to start the rebuilding of self esteem. He has visited our house up to three times a week and got son 1 back out into the community, he has been like a gentle giant of a friend.

I, too, will miss his professionalism and shy smile, while the regular arrival of a tall, dark, handsome young(ish) man at our front door must have done wonders for my reputation on our street!

Literary lists

I don't ususually take much notice of lists of books in the papers, but there have been two interesting book lists in The Times over the last two days.

Today's list comprises 'The 25 writers tipped to be literary lions of the future'.

Well, a couple of these I have read and loved - Jon McGregor and, of course, one of my favourites, Maggie O'Farrell.

Two more I have in my 'to be read soon' pile - Marina Lewycka and Naomi Alderman.

A few others I am aware of and interested in finding out more about - Charlotte Mendelson, Susanna Clarke and Jane Harris.

The others, to be honest, I don't think I have ever heard of.

Yesterday's list was of the 'Top 160 books for teenage boys'. Sadly, reading is not considered cool and far too many boys (including my own) never read for pleasure. Anything that can possibly help parents to find books which have appeal to the Playstation generation, is to be welcomed.

Madeleine - a footnote

For anyone who may have been wondering whether it is right to blog about the abduction of little Madeleine McCann in Portugal on 3rd May, PLEASE read this post on Susan Hill's blog, which includes an email from Madeleine's family.

As a parent myself, I can only begin to understand the agony the family must be going through. The whole situation is unbearable but right now publicity is what the family wants and needs, to spread awareness around the world and keep the case in the public eye. Madeleine deserves any little help we can offer.

Madeleine's most recently released photo, together with the contact details for anyone who might have any information, however small, are below, here.

Too tired to work?

Still a lot going on here and I'm tired.

I've slept fitfully for the last two nights, compounded by son 2 having early morning starts. After a supermarket trip this morning and a visit from a TV engineer at lunchtime, I really did intend to work hard this afternoon. But I just looked at the bookkeeping, sighed, put it away again and answered emails instead.

Oh dear.

Please keep looking...

The abduction of four year old Madeleine McCann from Praia da Luz, Portugal, has dominated the news media for the last ten days.

This weekend her family have issued this new photo which clearly shows the unusual marking in her right eye. This may now be the only way to positively identify a child whose other outward appearances could easily have been changed. Whatever we might feel about the circumstances in which this happened, let's hope someone, somewhere, can help to put her parents out of their misery.

Anyone with any information can phone Crimestoppers internationally on +44 1883 731 336 or within the UK on 0800 555 111.

Bookaholic alert...

I went onto Amazon this morning to pre-order the latest Maggie O'Farrell book in paperback and guess what? They have a sale, some books are as little as £1.

Well you didn't think I could just ignore that, did you? Then, of course, I had to make the order up to £15 to get the free postage.

7 books now on their way...

A new era?

So Tony Blair has finally announced the date he will stand down as Prime Minister. In the likelihood of Gordon Brown becoming the next Prime Minister, I wonder if we might dare to hope for more investment in services for special needs?

Both Gordon Brown and David Cameron, the Leader of the Opposition, have children with special needs. The second son of the Browns has cystic fibrosis and of course they tragically lost their first born, a daughter, shortly after her premature birth. The first child of the Camerons is profoundly disabled.

Services for children - and adults - with chronic illness or disability have been cut drastically year on year. Access to therapy is limited by budgets, most families have little or no respite care and help from social services is generally only available in crisis situations. Special needs education is a mess.

Maybe, just maybe, these two politicians will be able to identify with, and do something to help, families who need a little extra support. But don't hold your breath.

Normal service....

...will be resumed shortly. Nothing traumatic happening, just a very busy week full of appointments and commitments. Lots to think about but I can't/won't bore you with all that!

Recharging the batteries

We have had a quiet weekend, with the last two days spent at home. I had good intentions of doing the ironing and some of my accountancy work, but in the end I decided to push those chores to one side in favour of a little down-time. Hopefully I will have prepared myself adequately for the rest of the week, which promises to be hectic (so what's new?)

Over the weekend I have been unable to get the news story about the abduction of little Madeleine McCann in Portugal out of my mind. All parents will, at some time, have experienced the heart-stopping panic when one of their children disappears, even for a few seconds. But something like this is a family's worst nightmare and I'm sure her parents, like most of us, never believed it could happen to them. I just hope she will soon be returned safely.

Faber's stories

My charity shop book buys yesterday included two by Michel Faber, an author who had somehow passed beneath my radar until recently.

I've subsequently seen interesting reviews of his 'Victorian' novel, The Crimson Petal and the White, so I am looking forward to reading it in the future. I also bought his first anthology of short stories, Some Rain Must Fall and made a start on some of the stories while Son 2 was in music therapy this morning. The tales seem to be very varied in subject and style and some, although beautifully written, are not perhaps what I would normally read, give that I am not a devotee of science fiction or fantasy. I thought, however, that the title story, which opens the collection, was devastatingly good. You can read it here.

Other stories by Michel Faber which can be found online include The Safehouse, shortlisted for the National Short Story Prize 2006 and Fish, which is also in the volume I am reading.

Overheard today...

So I was just standing in a charity shop, browsing through the shelves of books, when I couldn't help overhearing a conversation between the two assistants, both rather ordinary ladies of 'a certain age'.

Lady behind till:

'We were discussing in the pub the other night how men look much better half dressed than naked. Don't like to see it all.'

Embarrassed cough from lady tidying the clothes.

Lady behind till:

'Yes a man in tight jeans, that is what I find sexy. Top off is fine though. But then again I think women should keep some things secret too...'

'Yes, so do I dear.'

Exit one customer, trying hard to stifle laughter.

Time to read at last

After complaining about no time to read, I had an hour to myself in a waiting room this morning. I went back to 'What Was Lost' by Catherine O'Flynn, which I had previously only just started. So far it seems to be a wonderfully written first novel and I just wish I could write like that!

Son 1 has another appointment tomorrow and as I am on taxi duty I have should have time to read more. I can't wait.

Letter writing

You might have noticed that I have been rather quiet recently about what I have been reading and writing. That is because I haven't had time to do either.

I'm still struggling to get through the Sunday papers, which were kept back from recycling on Monday. I have an inviting pile of magazines I have yet to open. My books to be read are lined up neatly on the shelves.

As far as writing goes, this blog has become my only daily writing practice. Yet on Monday I encountered another writing challenge. I needed to write a formal letter to a difficult person and had to compose it in a way which would not be inflammatory, yet would hint at my true feelings. Icily polite is the phrase which comes to mind. It took quite a while and at times it challenged me as much as any piece of short fiction, but I was pleased with what I wrote.

Let's hope it has the desired result.

Nature v nurture

I'm rather interested in the nature versus nurture question. How much of our inherent personality is the result of our genes and how much depends upon our upbringing and environment?

Our children are of similar colouring, but quite different in physical shape and personality. Son 2 has inherited a faulty gene from me, along with my persistance and bloody mindedness, while son 1 is quieter and more easygoing. Son 1 has always been the spitting image of his father, so much so that I have often seriously wondered if he has any of my genes at all.

So why is it that when I look at his body language and facial expressions and listen to him talking, I now see his uncle (Hubby's brother) so clearly? He only sees his uncle about once a year. This can only be nature shaping him.

Having it all?

The Times reports on its front page today that:

' The first evidence of an end to the “have-it-all” generation of women emerges today with thousands of nursery places lying empty because mothers are choosing to care for young children themselves.'

Well, I'm not sure that will surprise many of my friends. Perhaps it is just the little corner of suburbia where we live, but many of the people I know took a career break when their children were born. Although most of us are now working again, our working lives have been transformed. The exhorbitant cost of childcare in London makes it hardly worth working fulltime, so most Mums are working flexibly, perhaps from home or in a school, so that their work can tie in with their children's schooling. Many have made large salary sacrifices.

The notable exceptions to this are those who are lucky enough to have grandparents or other relatives living locally and willing to help out with childcare on a regular basis. But then again, many grandparents themselves are still working or just don't want to be tied down in that way, while some of us just do not have family nearby.

When I gave birth I also took a break from a successful professional career, in what had once been a male dominated environment, simply because the career structure was too patriarchal to be flexible enough. I always intended to return one day, but my children had to come first. They had 'optional extras' and needed security and continuity of care. Yet actually there have only been a very few years when I did no work at all and now, being officially a carer, there are also many other things to consider. Fulltime work is no longer an option. I have plans for a future career change, but life keeps getting in the way.

Ironically, I grew up in the feminist 70's and left university in the very year that Helen Gurley Brown's book 'Having It All' was published. Being a fan back then of Cosmopolitan magazine , I really believed her.

I don't now.

Musical interlude

Son 2 got up at 6am yesterday. As the morning paper had not yet arrived I switched on the laptop and amused myself by surfing around music videos on YouTube as well as reading other peoples blogs.

A few hours later son 1 emerges. By then I have breakfasted, done some chores and gone back to YouTube. I am listening to the inimitable Tina Turner singing River Deep, Mountain High, a song I have always loved. He looks at me in disgust and tells me to turn it off. I am still not sure which was more embarassing for him, my choice of music or that his middle-aged mother actually visits YouTube.

In the evening I decided to change the song on my MySpace page. I try to do this at least once a month, but it is always a hard decision to know what to add. This time I settled on Jeff Buckley's Hallelujah, so for any of you who visit, I hope you like it. If you haven't visited MySpace do take a look, there are lots of writers and interesting people on there - good for networking and it's not all kids!

We don't need no education....

Thoughts for the day:

How can a teacher who has left a school under a cloud get a job in another school just up the road, in the same local authority, and ruin the lives of more children?

Can it be a coincidence that two teenagers, who have been in the same forms for four years, in two different schools, both have severe mental health problems?

Why do schools never believe that they have a bullying problem?

Why do teachers always blame the family first when things are going wrong, rather than look at what is happening on their own premises?

Answers on a postcard please.

Love and marriage

It seems I may have been unwittingly topical yesterday. Thank you, stay at home dad for leaving this comment last night:

'Strangely, I picked up the ES this evening and it seems Jones is currently divorcing Dhaliwal and he's been chucked out of the marital house.'

This can only be a Good Thing. If you don't know why, read her view of marriage, together with his view of male/female relationships and the view of a (cynical?) outsider.

I suspect any divorce will spawn endless columns which I will yet again be sucked in to reading (because actually Liz Jones can write well) and no doubt another book deal for one or both.

Cartoons and confessions

I have a confession to make. Most weekends I buy and read a copy of the Mail on Sunday. Not for the politics, I should add, as much of the commentary in this particular paper makes me want to roll on the floor laughing or tear my hair out in despair.

I buy the paper for two reasons:

1. It often has a free DVD or CD and son 2 is obsessed with collecting these, even though he never watches or listens to them.

2. The back page of You magazine, which comes with it.

I used to really enjoy You magazine. Along with the frippery and aspirational lifestyle stuff I also found quite a bit of interesting family/society/relationship based journalism which on the whole did not share the political bias of the main paper. I think these articles have been less frequent and less good recently, but the back page of the magazine still grabs me.

I love the feminist cartoons 'Demented' by Jacky Fleming. I can so relate to them!

Then there is 'Liz Jones's Diary'.It is compulsive reading as I sit there thinking is this woman for real? I have never known anyone in real life who is so self-obsessed, vain and shallow and prepared to put up with such a seemingly bad relationship just to have a man around. The column is carrying the story on now from where the collected confessional columns in the book end. I don't know how much of the truth is embellished for journalistic effect but the juxtaposition with Jacky Fleming's cartoons can be very funny.

The spoilt whinging of Liz Jones could, if taken too seriously, set back the gains of feminism by years!

Interesting...

I was fascinated by this post on plotting on Kate Harrison's blog today. Not least because of the mention of Google Notes, which I actually discovered for myself a few days ago. Is it new, or had I just never noticed its existence before?

Anyway, I can't resist something new to waste time on, so I have set up Google Notes here on my laptop and will no doubt spend time working out how to use it rather than actually working over the next few days.

Oh and did you all notice that Kate won the novel race, knocking out the first draft of her next novel in superhuman time. I am so glad I didn't join in this time, but congratulations, Kate, and thanks for the interesting blog post today!

A day to treasure

Today was one of those days worth noting.

I finally finished my OU essay just in time to catch the deadline. I tidied up and shelved my ever-growing pile of 'books to be read' and 'how to write' books.

Most importantly I watched as son 1, whose confidence has been so badly destroyed by bullying at school, took a courageous step towards reclaiming his life. Then I went to have a coffee with the dear friend whose caring intervention has helped to make that possible.

Virginia Tech again

I was fascinated by this article in the Sunday Times today and by the ongoing and fairly balanced debate on the website.

What is worrying is that in this article, and elsewhere in the media, Cho has been described as having had autism, apparently based solely on an interview with an elderly relative in South Korea. Perhaps time will tell if that is correct, but what is clearer is that Cho Seung-hui had mental illness. Autism is a developmental disability, not a mental illness, though it can co-exist with mental health problems just as mental illness can co-exist with any other condition. It would be very sad if autism were to be prematurely blamed for this tragedy. Read the view of the National Autistic Society here.

Jackie also pointed out in my comments that Lionel Shriver's 'We need to talk about Kevin' is another book about a high school massacre. I have the book but because I know a little about the theme I haven't dared to read it yet.

Meeting time

At 9am we had a multi-professionals meeting for son 1 who has a mental health problem. I find these meetings both very frustrating and sometimes upsetting, simply because the various professionals seem unable to work as a team in terms of setting common goals and sharing information.

Today was a perfect example, where one professional who should have been there had not even been invited. But the lady I had been asked to invite at short notice turned up, on time, and was very nice. The meeting was actually more satisfactory than some and I managed to hold it together for the whole session without getting upset or angry.

One thing that health, education and social services workers never seem to understand is that they often cause parents and carers far more aggravation than the actual caring role itself does. Everything is governed by budget constraints and service availability, by the need to meet government targets and show the best possible result in league tables, rather than by what is best for the individual. To get what you need you not only have to know the system well but to obtain advice and support from others who can be independent and are less emotionally involved than you are. I took an advocate along with me today and I think it was really beneficial. I can't imagine what it must be like to have to face this sort of meeting if you are new to the system or don't have English as a first language.

After that meeting the large weekly shop in Tesco seemed almost relaxing this afternoon!

A sadly topical subject

Jodi Picoult is building a reputation for commercial books which deal with difficult and emotional subjects. She is often considered to have a good sense of the topical issues of the day. Her latest book 'Nineteen Minutes' is just out in hardback in the UK (published today according to Amazon.) Its subject is...a high school massacre. You couldn't get much more topical than that in the week of the terrible shootings at Virginia Tech.

I was thinking of writing about what might lead a young person to commit such a crime, but I am no psychologist. There just seem to be a few possible clues...a lonely young man with no friends and few social skills. Gun laws which allowed him to easily purchase weapons, even though he had allegedly been a mental health service user in the past, and pro-gun comments that there might have been less bloodshed if students and teachers were all able to carry guns on campus to defend themselves. A society in which the South Korean perpetrator, Cho Seung-hui, was described by the police as a 'registered alien', even though he had lived in the USA for most of his life and was fluent in English. His history of disturbed, violent writing, even though the concerns of his teachers seem to have gone unheeded.

I think anyone who has been to university or college will have known of people who seemed alienated in this way, who just didn't fit in. How can anyone predict which might be the one who will prove to be a risk to self or others, or who will have a total breakdown? I remember, as a second year student, listening to the music of the young man in the next door room, who was sitting his final exams. He played one tune over and over, the 'Theme from MASH' (Suicide is painless....). Thankfully he didn't do anything about it.

PS Since I am old, it was actually the original I heard, this TV theme not the Manic Street Preachers, but their version is so much cooler!

Total confusion

So, the day started badly because I had to go to the dentist. At least, I thought I did. After wasting half the morning waiting for my appointment I duly arrived, only to be told that I should be there next week. Oh well, I needed to make an appointment for son 1 anyway, so all was not lost, but I could easily have done that by phone. Came home to double check my appointment reminder and damn it, they were right and I was wrong. That is the second time in a week I have got muddled about a date. I blame my hormones!

Rather belatedly, I rushed off to my voluntary work. I didn't actually DO much there today, but caught up with some colleagues and had some interesting and very informative conversations. After a quick supermarket visit I returned home to send off some courtesy emails prior to an important multi-professionals meeting about son 1 on Friday. I got a reply asking me to arrange for yet another professional to attend. Am feeling rather peeved because a) it is not really my job to invite the professionals and b) it is such short notice that it will probably be impossible to get them along anyway. But no doubt I will do my best to arrange something tomorrow and if I don't succeed then at least I will be able to say I tried.

All work...

A day of work today, punctuated by answering personal emails, running down to the shops and some forward planning. It must be nearly time to turn off the computer and pick up a book. In the meantime we are watching the rerun of last week's episode of The Apprentice as Hubby was out on Wednesday evening and missed it. I love that show!

The Orange Broadband Prize for Fiction shortlist for 2007 has just been announced. I haven't read any of them!

Shopping confessions and guns

The school holiday is over, the sun is shining, the kids are both doing well and right now life seems quite fun. So what did I do to celebrate...well, some shopping of course!

Firstly a Kipling bag from eBay. Did I tell you I love Kipling bags? They are so light, hold loads and are also very practical, because they can be thrown in the washing machine. But they are expensive. Anyway I saw a vintage (2003) bag, new with tags, and I won it! It is gorgeous, a spacious tote bag in a pastel dot print of blue, green yellow and pink with pink handles. Guaranteed to brighten up my day when I use it.

Then we were sent a book token at Easter, in lieu of eggs for Hubby and I. I offered it to him but he said I could use it, so I took myself off to Waterstone's on Saturday. Our local branch (formerly Hammicks/Ottakars) is small but I had already decided just to look at the 3 for 2 paperback offer. I ended up buying Disobedience by Naomi Alderman, Love Life by Ray Kluun and Keeping the World Away by Margaret Forster...quite a variety.

As I write I am watching the BBC news about a horrifying shooting at a university in Virginia, USA. We are currently working hard to convince son 1 that the world is safe, that he doesn't need to feel threatened every time he leaves the house, yet this sort of news, added to the spate of recent gun murders more locally in London, just undermines our efforts. How can we lie to him?

Thoughts on the novel

What with everything else that has been going on here recently, I have rather taken my eye off the ball in respect of the novel. It's mainly a matter of time pressure, but also feeling uncertain about how on earth I can expand my writing style to novel length and wondering which genre the book might fit. How would you categorise Jodi Picoult's books, for example? Just in the catch-all of women's fiction perhaps...

I don't see my story as being chick lit, or even hen lit. Some elements of the plot are just too dark and although I am using a first person narrator, I don't write in that light, witty voice of chick lit. Anyway, I am far too old to write chick lit. Heavens I'm old enough to be the mother of a chick lit heroine, and I don't think even Mum lit is supposed to refer to the heroine's mother!!!

I have been told that I do have a distinctive voice in my writing so, since I seem to have found it by accident, I don't want to try to change it just to fit in with current trends. It doesn't really matter to me what genre my novel would fall into as I know what I want to write about and roughly how I want to do it. But should I ever be lucky enough to finish the manuscript and send it out into the big wide world, that is what publishers and agents would be looking at.

To give myself another boost I have subscribed to a magazine called 'The New Writer', which I hadn't even heard of until last week. The first one arrived a couple of days ago and today my copies of Writers' News and Writing Magazine popped through the letter box. With son 2 at home it is too noisy in the house to concentrate on actual writing of any kind, so I think I shall just have to content myself with reading about writing for a few more days.

Playing away and essay writing

Son 2 had a longer day at playscheme today because they all went on an outing to a specialist adventure park for people with disabilities. I think he enjoyed it, though apparently he spent the whole day in the indoor facility playing on a computer and refused to go outside. He is not an outdoors child really ....and to think we paid extra for him to do what he would otherwise have done at home! But actually the whole experience of going somewhere different and the journey on a big coach is good for him, because people with autism find changes to their normal routine very hard to cope with and do need to expand their horizons sometimes.

I made the most of the extra free time by working on my OU assignment and whoo hoo, it is half written! I have a week before I need to post it, so hopefully I will be able to get it in on time. That makes me feel much better!

A short story

You can tell it is still school holidays because I have done nothing interesting to write about. In fact today I haven't even left the house.

I have, however, spent far too much time on the internet. Yet again my eye was caught by something in The Guardian books blog. Apparently the National Short Story Prize shortlist is due to be announced tomorrow on the website Story.

This is a great website if you are interested in short stories, either as a reader or writer. It includes some quality short stories which can be downloaded, by writers such as Jackie Kay, Ian Rankin, Michel Faber and Rose Tremain. I had forgotten that I had previously explored this website and found a story which really made an impression on me.

'But' by Anne Donovan is a moving look at the issues faced by people who care for relatives with disabilities in the community. It is written in Scottish dialect so does take a little more concentration for those of us less familiar wih Scotland, but is well worth the effort. Click here to read the background to the story and download the file.

Back to reality

I hope you all had a wonderful Easter break.

Our relaxing long weekend was quite successful, but today life had to restart. Hubby went back to work, I took son 2 to playscheme and did a Tesco shop, then even tackled some of the ironing mountain.

I'm stressing a bit about my next OU assignment which is nearly due and yet again I am way behind with my reading. I keep saying to myself that I will give up the course, then I stop and think that actually my marks for the first two assignments have been pretty good. Just two more assignments and an exam (argh!) to go, it will all be over by mid July. Having got so far it would be a shame to give up. But then again, I also have lots of paid work to do between now and July. Ho hum.

Books and babies

I finished The Fruit of the Tree yesterday and I absolutely loved it. In a week when plans for maternity services have been in the news, it was fascinating to have a glimpse into how things were in the late 1960's, when women stayed in maternity homes or hospital for days after having a baby, rather than be booted out after a few hours.

I had both my babies in hospital and for medical reasons stayed in several days with both of them. Whilst the experience was far from perfect, I'm not sure I would have wanted a home birth. A friend of mine had her fourth child at home a few years ago and said all she could think about throughout her labour was that because the walls were so thin, her neighbours must be able to hear it all. So much for concentrating on a stress free birth!

As it happens both my children were born early and popped out easily without medical intervention or pain relief. But I was glad that we were in a hospital when son 1 had to be rushed to intensive care straight after birth. I can't imagine how it must feel to be at home if something goes wrong and sadly it can, even in full term babies.

Whilst I think it is wonderful that home birth might be offered to all those who want it, the NHS should also be looking very carefully at greatly improving staff levels and facilities in hospitals for those who want or need to give birth there. Even thirteen years ago, when I had son 2, there was a shortage of midwives. Experienced Mums were helping out the first-timers and on my ward a patient, who happened to be a nurse as well as a new Mum, helped the staff by taking round the drinks trolley!

I also read my Mslexia magazine yesterday and now am moving on to What Was Lost. I can't wait!

Lazy day

We are having a lazy day at home. I've got a dodgy stomach anyway (too much chocolate?) so I am quite happy to relax with the Sunday papers and a book.

I went shopping yesterday and despite going into three charity shops and three booksellers I managed to come home without buying even one book. How is that for self discipline?

I did, however, go to Debenhams to exchange an item of clothing. Whilst there I had a free cup of Earl Grey tea in the Gold Card lounge (one of the ownership perks of that particular piece of plastic.) As soon I sank into one of the leather armchairs I regretted, of course, that I had nothing with me to read...

Weekend plans

No more targets, I fear. I have decided I can only do what I can do and I have to put myself and my health first, for once, and make use of the fact that Hubby is at home for four days to help with the boys.

A quiet weekend beckons, I think. I have lots of things I could (or should) do, such as bookkeeping work, an Open University essay and a pile of ironing. But the weather is warm and sunny, I have books to read, future writing to plan and lots of other things I actually want to do.

That will suffice for now.

Today I'm reading...

I was going to write yesterday about what I have been reading but another topic caught my eye that I just had to write about!

This week I finished A Dangerous Man by Anne Brooke. Although a little darker and more graphic than much of what I read, I really enjoyed it and read it very quickly, despite having to put it away to study for a couple of weeks. Anne is a talented writer of both poetry and prose who deserves a bigger audience.

I was just about to start What Was Lost by Catherine O'Flynn which has been getting some great blog reviews AND has been long listed for the Orange prize, when a parcel arrived in the post yesterday. It contained The Fruit of the Tree by another of my blog friends, Jacquelynn Luben and I couldn't resist starting it right away.

It is an intensely personal memoir of the early years of Jackie's marriage, including her experiences of miscarriage and cot death. I've never experienced either, but we could so easily have lost son 1 as a sick, premature newborn and I have friends who have suffered miscarriages, so I have some understanding of the emotions involved. Above all the period covered in the book is the late 1960's through to the early 70's, a time when I was still a child but old enough to remember, so I am really enjoying the period details. I'm already about half way through the book.

Jane Austen and autism

An interesting post by Shirley Dent on the Guardian books blog today has drawn my attention to the fact that a book is soon to be published which tries to explain the behaviours of Darcy and some other characters in Pride and Prejudice, by claiming that they must have been on the autistic spectrum. Darcy? An autistic sex symbol?!

Of course being a fan of Jane Austen's work and having lots of experience of autism, I had to explore this further. The author, Phyllis Ferguson Bottomer appears to have a respectable professional pedigree as a speech and language therapist. The book is being published by Jessica Kingsley Publishers, a reputable firm which publishes many books on matters relating to autism. The credentials of the book seem to be good.

However, without having read the book, I have to say it makes me feel uneasy. Yes, people in Jane Austen's time probably showed some of the characteristics of autism, even though it was not recognised as a diagnosis until the mid 20th century. But lots of people show aspects of autism, particularly men. In fact most of us probably have some features of autism in our make up. It is only when a person shows many of these features that an autistic spectrum disorder would now be diagnosed. The awkward characters described could equally have had social anxiety disorder, plain shyness or a merely an inadequate upbringing which imbued them with unattractive personal characteristics. Doesn't the title of Pride and Prejudice give something away?

Simon Baron Cohen, a widely respected professor in the field of autism (and incidentally the cousin of Sasha Baron Cohen of Ali G and Borat fame), has hypothesised that autism is merely the extreme end of the male personality. I can think of so many men (and some women) I know who show some autistic features, yet are not autistic. This might account for the fact that autism is found in approximately a ratio of four males to every female. Jane Austen may well have met men with autistic aspects to their personality, but they would have been very mild. Anyone with moderate to severe autism would back then have been locked away and hidden from view.

I don't read books to analyse characters down to the most basic level. I prefer to read books for enjoyment, which is probably why I gave up formally studying English Literature at the age of 16. However there are many alienated characters in literature, especially tortured artists. Thomas Mann frequently used the art versus life scenario in works such as Tonio Kroeger and Death in Venice. Are such characters also autistic? Where will this retrospective character analysis end and how will affect it future readings of classic works?

Perhaps this book is just jumping on the band wagon of the current media interest in autism and of course Jane Austen. In what way could it possibly help people with autism today? That is what society should really be concentrating on.

Recycling

I'm all for recycling, though I must admit that sometimes it used to seem too much effort when we had to take things to recycling centres. Now, however, the local council is making it easier for us.

Outside our house we have wheelie bins in three different colours...blue, brown and green. The only difficulty is remembering which bin to put our rubbish in. Blue is for recyling...glass, tin cans, plastic, paper, cardboard etc. Brown is for organic waste recycling....garden waste and food waste (which can only be wrapped in newspaper or special biodegradable bags which are being sold, for some reason, at the local libraries.) Green, despite what you might think, is for everything else which can't be recycled.

Then there is the collection timetable. The bins are emptied fortnightly (weekly for organic in summer), but not all on the same week so there are timetables to follow. The binmen open the bins to check contents and if they happen to spot something in a recycling bin which shouldn't be there then they do not empty the bin.

Of course we are also encouraged to recycle goods to charity shops. Regular readers will know that I am a great fan of buying books in charity shops, then later recycling them back along with our unwanted clothes. The childrens toys are generally sent to a charity shop or donated to one of the local charities which organise activities for children with special needs. I also buy many things second hand on eBay. Our house is overflowing with recycled bargains!

So recycling is easier and secondhand no longer holds the stigma that it did when I was young. Indeed we don't say secondhand, we say vintage and make a fashion statement. Let's all carry on recycling!

Holiday cheer

At the start of the two-week Easter break from school, I decided to do this little quiz to test my parenting skills ( for 'would you be' read 'are you'! ):

You Will Be a Cool Parent

You seem to naturally know a lot about parenting, and you know what kids need. You can tell when it's time to let kids off the hook, and when it's time to lay down the law. While your parenting is modern and hip, it's not over the top. You know that there's nothing cool about a parent who acts like a teenager... or a drill sergeant!

Would You Be a Cool Parent?

Not sure if my sons would agree, but it makes me feel good!

Housekeeping

No, not spring cleaning. I don't do that (if I can help it!)

I've been rearranging my blog a little, trying to make it prettier. I've put the Jacquie Lawson monthly e-card at the top of the blog as it is such a nice graphic. If you haven't already discovered Jacquie Lawson cards do click on it and take a look. These e-cards are really fab and for a small annual membership you can send as many as you want. I love them.

Thanks to Joanna's blog, I have also discovered Zoomclouds. So I now have a Technorati-style cloud in my side bar which references what I have written recently rather than just my label headings. Some of the content is, um, interesting, but it's a fun addition to my labels listing which will serve as the main index using wide categories.

I've also listed a few more books on LibraryThing so hopefully there may be more variety in the pictures shown. I'm not sure how this random selecting of books works...some of the books I have listed never seem to show up and others seem to outstay their welcome. Never mind, it's only a bit of fun.

School holiday has started so, depending on how much time I have, I might even try to find some more fun things to put on here. Then again perhaps I would be better using that time for reading or writing, rather than procrastinating!

Depression

An interesting post by Diane Shipley, co-editor of Trashionista, on the Guardian bookblog today.

Diane bravely explains how suffering from depression has affected her choice of reading matter over the years. This was something I can relate to, as I too have suffered from depression at various times of my life and indeed am on medication for it now. I am perhaps 'lucky' in that my depression is of the reactive variety, which affects me at serious stresspoints of my life, rather than being the full-blown black hole of clinical depression. However, that is of little comfort when those stresses arise from situations in your life which simply can't be avoided and I can clearly see a tendency to depression on one side of my family.

I recently attended an interesting tutorial on the use of complimentary therapies in mental health, particularly depression, which provided much food for thought. I know from my own past experience how much a gentle yoga session or an aromatherapy hand massage can help lift the spirits. However, not everyone has the time or money to access complimentary therapies. Books can provide cheaper relaxation. Unlike Diane, I do not find that my mood affects my reading choices. In fact I often gain as much of a lift from reading more depressing work as from lightweight books, as they remind me how many people have serious crises in life and come through. They help to move me away from self pity and self absorption.

On the other hand I have had periods in my life when I could not bear to listen to any music at all and I am still far too prone to listening to ancient cheesy pop songs which remind me of long lost loves and the freedom I used to have. So I can understand how Diane is similarly affected by books...

How do you write?

I have been wondering for sometime what is the best way to write. On paper or straight on to the computer? I'm sure every writer finds their own preferred method of working and I think for me it varies. On the rare occasions that I am writing poetry I do find it easier to write longhand and type up when the poem is fairly polished. For prose, however, I prefer to type straight into the computer as I often edit quite a lot as I am going along.

The one disadvantage is that this method is not very portable. I do use a laptop but it has poor battery life now and would be quite heavy to carry around. I have therefore been wondering if it might be worthwhile to invest in an Alphasmart word processsor to complement it. I have been aware of these little machines for ages as they are often used in schools, particularly for children who find writing by hand difficult due to physical or learning difficulties. I hadn't, however, realised until more recently that they are also used by journalists and writers amongst others.

So I am weighing up whether it would be worth buying one for home as it could be used both by myself and son 1 who, although bright, often has difficulty getting his thoughts down on paper. We have already noticed that his spelling is much improved when he types and an Alphasmart would both complement that and allow him to write without the distraction of the internet. I can already see myself taking one out and about so I can write anywhere. Perhaps the novel would even progress a bit faster!

I have my eye on the Neo, but I think I will look on eBay first before deciding to spend that much money. Keris has already said how much she loves her Alphasmart...anyone else got any views?

Waiting room

Son 1 had a clinic appointment this afternoon. Due to his age and the nature of his therapy I have to wait while he is seen. Today's appointment was with two professionals and lasted 90 minutes, so I was very glad I had taken a book with me. I settled myself down in the rather uncomfortable and clinical waiting area with a copy of The Art of Fiction by David Lodge and the time went by quite quickly. I'm not sure how much of the text I really took in though, I shall probably have to go back to it later.

I've written before about the Wife in the North blog, which I still read regularly. But I have also discovered Strife in the North which is a very funny and clever parody of it. You have to read both to get the joke!

Moving on...

...but first, two more reports from the BBC today which are relevant to yesterday's blog post. Firstly about bullying and secondly about eating disorders in pre-teens. Scary stuff.

Anyway, on a lighter note, Marie Phillips at Struggling Author has highlighted today, in a very amusing manner, the news that there is to be a new reality TV show for wannabe authors. The planned show, based on Dragon's Den, is headlined in The Bookseller but sadly, as I don't have a subscription, I can't read or link you to the actual piece. The show is the brainchild of Simon Cowell's brother, Tony. Reading your work out loud to anyone is bad enough, but in that sort of scenario? Count me out!

Finally, when I'm having a bad day, this song never fails to make me smile. Not cool, but who cares?

The mental health of our kids

It's official, our kids are increasingly afflicted by mental health problems. According to a BBC report, one in ten children aged between one and fifteen have a mental health problem. Today, as I heard of yet another vulnerable child who has been withdrawn from mainstream school due to a mental health crisis, I started to wonder why.

The problems are probably greatest amongst teenagers and our family has personal experience of this.What is for sure is that parenting a teen is not easy, it makes looking after a toddler seem a doddle!

Bullying is nothing new, but nowadays it is taking new forms, with kids making use of their computers and mobile phones. Abusive text messages are easily sent at any time of night or day. Pictures or film of bullying is circulated via phones or posted on websites such as MySpace or YouTube. I was pointed in the direction of such a clip this weekend. I won't go into details but it sickened me and the victim's full name was posted.

Eating disorders and self-harming are becoming widespread and although more prevalent amongst girls, boys are affected too. How much this of this is serious and how much is a fashion statement is unclear. Gangs abound in and outside schools. There seems to be no place for 'regular kids', as son 1 describes himself and his friends.

So what is driving our kids to such states of despair? Is it the school system and the ever constant 'pressure' to perform? Is it the celebrity culture in which children are constantly trying to copy the looks and figures of stick-thin models or the behaviour of out-of-control stars? Is it the array of magazines which are constantly promoting celebrities and designer goods, or is it a society in which even quite young girls are sexualised?

Depression is increasingly common amongst teenage boys, possibly because they fear they just can't meet up to the expectations of those girls, in their plunge necklines and push-up bras, who are trying to look like Kate Moss and lusting after sexy film and pop stars.

Something to think about as I flick through son 1's copy of Heat magazine...

Awareness

Yesterday I spent some time with a friend I hadn't seen for a long time. She also has children, one of whom has special needs, so we always have plenty to talk about.

She was telling me about two young relations who she is worried about. She talked about the behaviour of one of the children and asked me if I thought the child might have autism. I have to admit that from the description I felt it was a significant possibility.

I hate these situations. I know that, for most children with special needs, early intervention brings the best outcome. Given the waiting lists of the NHS, the earlier a child is referred for diagnosis and therapy the better. Yet as a friend or a voluntary worker, we have to be so careful what we say. Many parents suffer from denial when they first suspect something is not quite right and even those who are more articulate with their fears will be very vulnerable. In some cultures, including that of my friend's family, any form of significant disability is seen as something shameful, to be hidden away from the community. Although she does not believe that, some family members probably do.

It is usually more difficult for first time parents to notice developmental problems in their child and to know where to turn for help. My friend spotted that something was not quite right with her own son, her third child, when he was just a few weeks old. He still has no specific diagnosis but with appropriate intervention he has made excellent progress. Her young relatives, however, will probably not receive any assessment or potential help unless a crisis point is reached. They are possibly being set up to fail.

Sorry, that was rather serious for a Saturday night, but it has been on my mind since yesterday!

Reading matter

I am painfully aware that recently I have been talking about books and buying them but not actually reading very much. I'm not even reading as many magazines as usual.

So to keep me on the straight and narrow I have just added a list to my sidebar where I will highlight my current reading. Click on the titles for more details of each book.

First up is Shaggy Blog Stories. My copy arrived this morning and I have just started dipping into it. If you don't know how this book was created, I blogged about it here. At the time of writing the book has already raised £1768 for Red Nose Day, so well done Mike and all the contributors!

The second book I have on the go is A Dangerous Man, a thriller with a difference by my blog friend Anne Brooke , which I am really enjoying.

Revisiting Jane Austen

Last night I had a girls night out with a friend to see the new movie Becoming Jane Austen. This was exciting for two reasons. Firstly I don't often go to the cinema, we usually wait for the DVD or a TV showing, and secondly I am a fan of Jane Austen's novels.

I have to admit that I discovered Jane Austen quite late in life...I must have been close to thirty. I was aware of Pride and Prejudice from dramatisations but I had never studied Austen at school and had read none of her work until I picked up Emma one day. I was immediately hooked and literally read one book after another from the library, until I had read them all.

I hadn't actually thought much about the movie until my friend suggested going. Partly because I was uncertain about the casting of Anne Hathaway as Jane and partly because I didn't think there would be enough material in Jane's life to dramatise. Lonely spinster, anyone? It's been done before!

Well I have to say I did enjoy it. OK, the movie is a little long and could have had some of the slower parts edited out, especially at the beginning, but the performances are quite good, although I'm still not totally convinced by the casting of Jane. Anne Hathaway is just too perfectly pretty, especially in comparison to other family members, but her accent didn't jar, even if it didn't sound 100% Brit. (I have to be honest here, I hated Renee Zellweger's accent in Bridget Jones.)

The actual story material is built loosely around some known facts and depicts Jane's supposed first love, at the age of twenty, with an Irish lawyer. The sexual chemistry between Hathaway and James McAvoy who played Tom sparked and the screenplay was written just like an Austen novel with obvious character and plot parallels with Pride and Prejudice.

It's the sort of movie to be seen for what it is...not strictly accurate biography, but a fictional entertainment based on and influenced by Jane Austen. If you are an Austen fan, enjoy!

(If you are in the UK don't forget the current TV season of Austen's work either...)

Coffee and support

One of the best parts about having a child with special needs is meeting others in the same position. You feel like members of an exclusive club (though admittedly it is probably not one that other people will be lining up to join.)

This morning I went to a support group coffee morning, which is consists mainly of parents of children with ADHD or autistic spectrum disorders. I was there partially in an official role to suppport new parents and partly for advice myself. It is wonderful to be able to chat openly about things that parents of 'normal' children just wouldn't get. The problems of having a child with challenging and destructive behaviour. The worry of a child who cannot survive in mainstream school. The stress and strains this can all put on family life. We share secrets and advice and what is said at the coffee morning remains between those four walls.

So to anyone who might discover that their child has special needs, however mild or severe, I would say seek out a support group. If there is nothing near you then join an online forum such as Special Kids in the UK and/or a group specific to your child's needs. At the end of the day we all face similar battles and concerns, about securing a decent education, health services and respite care provision for our children. Lean on others when you need to and be there to listen when they are struggling.

For together we are stronger.

Shopping again

I love shopping!

My need to shop reflects my negative state of mind so if I 'fess up to what I have bought in the last few days you will get the picture. A handbag from eBay. A pair of sandals. Eyeliner and other make up. A new digital camera (with birthday money). A jacket (sale price). All without leaving the house.

Hubby has always despaired about my spending. While the kids were young I actually spent very little on myself but once they went to school I decided that I needed to look after myself a bit more. So I went shopping for little treats. Later I joined a gym, which Hubby thought was a great idea as I needed to get fitter and it would keep me away from the shops. I 'forgot' to mention the gym was situated in the middle of a retail park...

At present my gym membership is frozen as I have too many family and other commitments to be able to go. I miss my calming yoga classes, perhaps that explains my current urge to consume. But now the internet can take care of the shopping. It is even worse, because if I am physically in a shop I can walk away from things, I enjoy browsing almost as much as actually buying, but online it is just so easy to click on buy.

I was thinking of adding a shopping label here for my blog posts but it would be just too embarrassing...

Cold spell

The tiny amount of snow which was lying on top of cars this morning has long since gone and right now the sun is shining through the window on to my laptop screen. It is a mirage of spring, as in reality it is still bitterly cold outside, despite having been so warm last week. Global warming has a lot to answer for.

I have been trying to get my head around some writing today with little success. Inspiration seems to be lacking, possibly because I have a lot of other things on my mind right now. The rest of the week is going to be busy with other work and rather politically charged appointments so the novel word count may have to remain static for a bit longer.

Yesterday my iron caught fire soon after I had started to tackle a large pile of shirts. It was rather an ancient iron and the cord had started to fray rather dangerously but I hadn't expected it to blow in that way. I almost panicked and risked setting the ironing board cover on fire, but rationality returned just in time, I turned off the electricity and put the offending piece of equipment outside the front door once the little flame had gone out.

It all happens here!

Awayday and eyebrows

A day out in the West End yesterday. Think of it as an early Mother's Day present.

First to an OU tutorial about complementary therapies and mental health, which was very interesting, despite some confusion about the start time. The OU had told students 11am but booked the tutor and room for 10.30! Then off to Oxford Street for a quick browse in a few department stores and Waterstones.

Whilst there I did something I have never done before, I had my eyebrows shaped by threading. Now, I have the strange family eyebrows which are quite scanty on the outside edges and mine have not been helped by over enthusiastic plucking in my teens. The result of the threading is interesting....my eyebrows are thinner, nicely shaped and look less like tadpoles than usual, but the result is a little patchy. Nothing that a pencil or a little bit of dark eyeshadow can't disguise though.

Meanwhile, the sales of the bloggers' book are being recorded on Troubled Diva whilst on the Guardian book blog the chick lit debate rumbles on!

Red Nose Day (2)

He did it! Mike from Troubled Diva has suceeded in compiling a book of 100 funny posts by UK bloggers to be sold to raise funds for Red Nose Day. What is really amazing is that he, with help from many other bloggers, did it all in the space of seven days.

My submission was one of the many not chosen, hardly surprising since I am not really an amusing writer, but 100 entries were selected and a full list of those bloggers is available here.

Now to the important bit. Buy it! I just have. The book is available directly from the publishers, Lulu.com, who are also kindly donating their profits.

Just go directly to www.shaggyblogstories.co.uk

Chick lit again

A blog post by Diane of Trashionista in todays Guardian seems to have created a heated response. I wonder why this genre seems to create a wider divide in opinion than almost any other? There is absolutely nothing wrong with books which are designed to entertain...indeed one of my more educational experiences as a reader was picking up a copy of Jilly Cooper's Rivals in an airport in desperation, thinking I would hate it, then finding it to be a fantastic beach read. However, I think some of the commenters have also made very valid points. Why not have a look and see what you think?

Bargain hunter

You have probably realised by now that I am a bit of a shopaholic. I have to confess it is not just books, but clothes and makeup as well. Anything to make me feel better about myself, I guess, not to mention all the stuff that modern kids seem to need.

Since we are not rich and my shopping has to be achieved on a tight budget, I am always on the look out for bargains. I love looking around charity shops, I scour eBay, I fight my way through Primark on a Saturday afternoon and I can't resist a sale.

On Saturday I hit the jackpot. I was in Bhs buying some T shirts for son 1 (sale price, of course) and as I was making my way towards the rear exit, I noticed racks of ladies clothes on sale. So of course I had to look. I discovered about a year ago that Bhs petite range trousers are usually the perfect length for me. Sadly I'm not only vertically challenged but, after two children and too much chocolate, I am far from sylph-like. Finding jeans to fit nicely in all directions has been a nightmare...I am fractionally too tall or fat for the petite range in many shops but too short for standard length. Ho hum.

Anyway, I checked the racks quickly and found a nice pair of petite jeans, in my size, reduced from £25 to £20. Not really cheap, but I did like them. I didn't have time to try them on but knowing I could take them back if necessary, I took them to the till. I have a loyalty points card that would give me an extra 5% off so that would be £19 in total. Not too bad. The cashier scanned them. They came up as £7, less a further 70p deduction for a 10% off promotion on old stock. I still got a further 5% off the reduced total with my card so I got a pair of jeans for just under £6.

The best thing of all is that they are a really good fit!!

Writing prompts

I'm afraid I am a sucker for 'how to write' books and volumes offering prompts for writers. But the internet is also a great source of inspiration when you need something to trigger your creativity.

I've already written here about Oceangram. I revisited the site today for the first time in a while and the graphics have had a makeover, but it still offers the same idiosyncratic messages in bottles.

Another site which I have regularly visited is PostSecret, with its fascinating postcards sent in by the public, a combination of art and eavesdropping.

Then today, thanks to Sarah's blog, I have discovered yet another inspiring site called Found Magazine, picturing collected 'found' ephemera.

Just to top it all I also realised that both PostSecret and Found have published several books, available on Amazon...

Anyone else think I am an internet addict?

Unreadable?

In the news today is a list of books which people claim in a survey to have been unable to finish. I have to admit that I have only read two of these:

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire...long but I enjoyed it and

Crime and Punishment... I had to study this at university so didn't read it for fun, but I don't remember it being that bad.

If I am not enjoying a book much I do try to at least skim through to the end but two that I do clearly remember giving up completely on were:

Midnight's Children by Salman Rushdie ...which I just couldn't get into at all and

The Golden Notebook by Doris Lessing... but I want to give that one another try soon as I'm getting into books on mental health at the moment.

I like books with good storylines, believable characters I can relate to and above all well written. Anything poorly written and very superficial or, on the other hand, too dry and literary tends to leave me cold.

But each to his/her own and I am very surprised to see Harry Potter in the list, even if that wasn't the best of the series.

Red Nose Day

Just in case any of you have missed this news on other blogs, Mike at Troubled Diva is compiling a book of funny blog posts by UK based or expatriot bloggers, to be published by Lulu.com with all profits going to the wonderful charity Comic Relief, whose next Red Nose Day will be on Friday.

So if, unlike me, you actually write a funny blog, please support Comic Relief by sending Mike your favourite piece, full details are to be found here. Be quick, the deadline is on Wednesday, 6pm UK time!

Updated: Deadline is now Tuesday 6pm!

Unfortunate employee

of the year....or should it be renamed ex-employee?

One of the leading contenders must be the the Penguin books staff member who left a manuscript of Jeanette Winterson's not yet published book on a bench at Balham station.

Amazing that it seems to have been found by a fan. I'm afraid the only one of her books I have ever been able to read was Oranges are not the Only Fruit.

Local character

She was often to seen walking around locally, the sort of person you couldn't miss but would not want to talk to.

She dressed in jumble sale clothing which hung off her gaunt body, usually in some sort of skirt and a favourite maroon mock leather coat which was torn. I always noticed her feet. She often wore snow boots, even when the weather was fine. If it was wet she might have on her bright yellow wellies, one of which had what looked like a huge gaping knife cut across the top. In the summer she wore disintegrating sandals which appeared to date from the 1970's or, as I observed more than once, walked the streets in bare feet. Of indeterminate age, neither young nor really old, her face was pallid and her thin grey-blonde hair hung lankly around it.

I knew she lived somewhere in our street, but it is a long road with several turns so I did not know exactly where. Whenever I saw her she was alone and I only ever heard her speak once. Queuing behind her at the deli counter of our local supermarket, before it closed down, I thought I caught a trace of a European accent. Based solely, I think, on her purchases that day, I imagined her to be Polish.

Just to look at her it was obvious that she was a very lonely lady, probably with a mental health problem. She was often to be seen sitting with an empty cup outside the local coffee shop or at 9am most Sunday mornings on the bench at our end of our street, reading a copy of the Mail on Sunday, with a lit cigarette in hand.

Today I met a friend who told me that despite the best efforts of our local GP, this poor lady has died. She was apparently an alcoholic and has left behind a house in a terrible condition, which will no doubt be bought up by a developer with a good eye for a profit. The locality will be a less colourful place for her loss, but still we don't know her name.

Another teen idol

Talking of David Cassidy, as we were last week, he was on TV this morning to promote a book and a tour.

Sorry girls, but he looks slightly weird and frankly didn't seem too bright. I'd never realised how short he is either! You don't really notice that when you are 12...

Isn't it strange how both Donny and David have popped up with things to promote over here at almost exactly the same time? A coincidence or a cunning marketing ploy?

Work, work, work

Busy day today doing voluntary work...I even had a couple of inspired moments!

Back home to write an email to Son 1's school, to try and arrange a meeting I would rather not go to. Sorry if that all sounds rather cryptic but I can't go into details.

I forgot to mention yesterday that on the way to M&S for birthday cake I called into one of the charity shops to look at the books. I found a paperback copy of this book, which will be a perfect volume to dip into whilst waiting as the boys have therapy appointments. Short excerpts which might lead to the discovery of great writers who are new to me.

Birthday boy

Son 2's birthday today. For some strange autistic reason he doesn't like the word 'birthday', so we were not allowed to sing 'Happy Birthday' or even mention it. He did, however, enjoy his presents and cake!

I rushed off to M&S at lunchtime to buy said cake...a chocolate caterpillar cake is the family favourite. We always do present opening in the evening when Daddy is home too, as he leaves the house early in the morning.

So I am now officially the mother of two teenagers. How scary is that?!

On the up

Around 500 words written on the novel today, as well as another short piece. I'm not sure about the quality of those words, I suspect that when I go back to edit them, I will find that I have done far too much telling and not enough showing so will have to flesh it all out and change the balance. But at least I wrote something, which I needed to do and it is always easier to stay in and work when the weather is grotty.

I'm in a crime and thriller mood at the moment, both in books and TV viewing. I think that this is probably the genre I enjoy best for entertainment. Watching 'Lewis' on TV last night reminded me that there are possibly still some books in Colin Dexter's Inspector Morse series that I haven't read. In fact there are also a number of other writers whose series I used to follow but haven't read recently, so plenty to catch up on one day.

False alarms

Thanks to gentle nagging from Anne and Sue ( thanks girls!), I am not going to set any new formal targets this month. However, I am going to try to catch up with myself before the Easter holiday starts. So, my informal targets for March will be much as before...

A bit of mild excitement today. Son 2 tried to burn down the kitchen whilst making toast this morning. He seems to think that once the bread pops up out of the toaster it has to be put back in again and again. He does this until the bread is black and brittle and the house is full of smoke. Of course this set off the smoke alarm, which totally upset and confused him. Then we had to open all the windows so I froze. All because he sneaked off to make something I had already said he could not have.

This afternoon I took him to a special needs club at a local church and guess what, one of the kids (not him!) set off the fire alarm. The noise was earsplitting and no one knew how to turn it off. Son 2 is very sound sensitive but coped simply because he was listening to a CD and seemed to be able to tune out the alarm. If only we adults had also been able to do that!

Target time

A day late, it's time to review how many of my targets for February were met.

1. OU...still a bit behind on my reading but the assignment is done. OK, I cheated slightly, I asked for and was granted an extension and it was actually completed and posted off today!

2.Novel...well I have written a little more, but not as much as I would have liked.

3.Proper work...some bookkeeping done, lots more to go.

4.Voluntary work...caught up, sort of.

5.Wardrobe clearing...um, no. Though I have bought a few more items to put in it!

Not too bad for a short month which contained a two week half term for Son 2...

Now for the March targets. I will have a think and put them up over the weekend.

Books and Braille

Thanks to dovegreyreader for drawing my attention to the fact that Braille is in danger of becoming obsolete because many blind people are not taught it nowadays. There is an e-petition to the government which UK citizens can sign up to, if you are interested. There is also wonderful testimony on dovegreyreader's blog as to how Braille can transform the lives of blind people. Do read it.

Although Braille might seem a little old fashioned in the digital age, it clearly has a significant place amongst the range of communication aids available. This is a subject I am interested in because Son 2 is nonverbal and communicates with us using a variety of methods...vocalisations, gestures, Makaton, a simple sign language, and printed symbols and pictures. The more methods that are available to help people with challenges to communicate and be able to read and express themselves in writing, the better.

Oh and if you love books and haven't yet discovered dovegreyreader, do take a look at her blog!