Literature map

How do you choose your next book to read? Do you rely on personal recommendation from friends? Or take notice of reviews on a book blog such as dovegreyreader, which is my personal favourite. Do you browse on Amazon, looking for authors you are familiar with? Do you read the recommendations and comments there?

Or do you go into a bookshop, where you are perhaps more likely to be swayed by a cover design, or the blurb on the back cover?

For me there are certain authors whose books I would always buy, simply because I like their style and themes. But how do you start to find others who match up to them?

That is perhaps where Literature Map could come in handy. Put in the name of a favourite author and it will suggest authors whom other readers have also liked. I'm not quite sure how it works, though I think it is linked to Amazon.com so presumably based on their sales and browsing data somehow.

For example, I have just entered Maggie O'Farrell. The database has thrown up, amongst others, Jon McGregor, Anita Shreve, Jane Austen, Zadie Smith, Ian McEwan, Anne Tyler and Kate Atkinson, all of whom I also enjoy. If you enter an American author, say Anne Tyler, you get even more positive results...Carol Shields, Jodi Picoult, Margaret Atwood, Sue Miller, Fay Weldon, Alice Munro, Joyce Carol Oates, all of whom also represent the sort of fiction I read. So perhaps I should also start to explore some of the other suggestions...

This is a wonderful displacement activity and unlike books in a similar vein, should remain contemporary.

Three notable things:

1. After Anne Enright, another literary controversy....

2. Author Emma Darwin's new blog seems interesting.

3. It is half term this week, but as usual son 2 has a different holiday. His half term will start on Thursday and he has all of next week off too, but there won't be any playschemes, as everyone else will have gone back to school. One of the annoying idiosyncrasies of his being in an independent special school...

Both sides of the story

Two talented students of the Open University writing courses, Duncan Spencer and Andrea Smith have just set up a new website, Both Sides of the Story, to showcase their fiction writing.

Duncan and Andrea have been longtime collaborators, since meeting on one of the OU online courses, and challenge each other to write a story on a specific theme every other week. Their website shows the impressive results. It is well worth a look.

Three notable things:

1. 'Always the bridesmaid and never the bride' could have been the motto of British sport this weekend. But we should all be proud of the rugby team and of Lewis Hamilton.

2. DHL delivered my OU materials today for the Open to Change openings course. I hope it will be not only an easy 10 points towards a qualification, but also thought provoking, as I feel I need to make some changes in my life if I am going to make space and time for my writing and studying. What's more, the course materials came with their own little OU book bag. How cool!

3. Has Sharon Osbourne really left the X factor??

Where are my books?

DHL tried to deliver a package today while I was out at the supermarket. Unfortunately Son 1 didn't hear the doorbell (or perhaps it didn't even ring, it can be temperamental) but he did later find the card that was left in the porch.

This card is particularly uninformative. The delivery driver did not fill it in properly, so I had no idea whether the package had been left with a neighbour or taken away. The parcel number was not entered in the box, so when I rang DHL's automated line I couldn't enter the right information. The only thing I had was a long number by the words 'tour no:' and the reference code for the local depot. I tried entering this long number as the parcel number. The phone said it would transfer me to the depot but I held on for ages and no one answered.

I tried to think what I am expecting to receive and decided perhaps this was an Amazon delivery which I know to be en route. I wondered what to do next. I then got distracted by other things so did nothing more.

A little later I remembered that I was trying to locate the whereabouts of my goodies and tried the whole procedure with the automated line again. This time the phone was eventually answered by a human who took my address. I gave her the little info I had and as I read out the long number on the card it suddenly struck me that just maybe this was a mobile phone number. But hey, I was actually through to DHL, it was their problem now and the lady promised to look into it.

Later this afternoon I logged into my Open University homepage and clicked on materials despatch for my second new course. The books were on their way to me and there was a link to DHL to track the package. I followed it through and yes, that was the package they had tried to deliver. I clicked another link and sent a message.

Needless to say the lady never phoned back and so far I have had no response to the web message...

Three notable things:

1. Son 1 had his first minor brush with the law yesterday evening for a cycling offence...

2. A long evening in front of the TV beckons tomorrow. The X Factor followed by the rugby final!

3. I found my cheque book which I had mislaid!

Controversy

So, they were all wrong. In the end Anne Enright won the Man Booker prize for The Gathering, which is, I understand, quite a dark and disturbing read.

Two days later, she is already embroiled in controversy over a piece published in the London Review of Books. It is about the McCann family, whose daughter Madeleine disappeared in Portugal in May.

Having just read the piece I feel uncomfortable. She is only expressing her opinions, but I think most of us have some sort of view on what happened that night. Surely though it is better to keep those thoughts to yourself rather than make them so pointed and public?

Three notable things:

1. I'm almost up and running on the OU Start Writing Plays course...

2. Went into town with son 1 this morning so he could spend some of his birthday money.

3.Very soon we are going to have some new neighbours across the road. Hope they will be nice.

Now book fever

Or should that be Man Booker fever? As everyone waits for the result tonight, The BBC website has summaries of each of the shortlisted novels as well as an interesting article on the factors which can influence book sales.

Dovegreyreader is tipping 'Darkmans', as does Eve's Alexandria, while the bookies have two different frontrunners. For the record, I haven't read any of them, so I have no opinion at all!

Three notable things:

1. My course materials for the OU Start Writing Plays course arrived today!

2. I have just signed up for another short course, to run concurrently with it, called Open to Change. You can read what you like into that.

3. Ageism seems to be alive and well in British politics...

Rugby fever

A few weeks ago I wrote a fleeting mention of the Rugby World Cup into my novel. Not the tournament that is currently ongoing, but the one that England won, four years ago. It was an attempt to anchor the time frame of my novel, which spans many years, by referencing real life events.

On Saturday we sat in front of the TV and watched as England reached the final again, probably against most people's expectations. I have to admit that I don't know much about rugby, I am hazy on the scoring and rules, but it is quite fun to watch. We'll be cheering them on in the final too, especially as South Africa are a seriously good team.

This time I have an added interest because the captain of the England team, Phil Vickery (that's not Phil Vickery the cute chef who is married to Fern Britton, by the way!), grew up in the same part of the world as me and my mother knew one of his relatives. In fact he went to my old school. Just out of interest I googled him and found that he was BORN just two years before I left school.

How old did that make me feel?

Three notable things:

1. England's amazing progress in the rugby.

2. Whilst we are on the subject of rugby and schools, Hubby used to attend a school named after William Webb Ellis who invented the game and lends his name to the World Cup trophy.

3. Why do I seem to have done little except laundry today?

Meant to be...

Some of you already know that I am signed up for the Open University level one 'Start Writing Plays' course which starts at the end of this month. I know nothing about writing scripts, but am doing this 12 week introduction as preparation for the level three Creative Writing course due to start next year and hopefully to hone skills that will transfer into my fiction writing.

Anyway, yesterday afternoon I was browsing around the charity shops in town as usual. I came up with a haul of goodies...two balls of pretty wool, a new novel by Susan Isaacs, an author I used to read years ago, and three videos for son 2. In the third and final shop I cast an eye over the shelves of books. This particular shop often has a classy selection, but charges more than the others... usually £2.50 for a paperback novel, which I will only pay for something special.

On the non-fiction shelves I spotted something exceptional. A row of five books on plays and scriptwriting, all in 'as new' condition. I could not believe my luck. I came away with three of them, Writing the Romantic Comedy by Billy Mernit, Writing Dialogue for Scripts by Rib Davis and Playwriting - A Practical Guide by Noel Greig. At £2 each.

I like to think those books were just waiting for me...

Three notable things:

1. My charity shop purchases.

2. Teaching son 1 how to use an ATM now he has his bank account.

3. Son 1's friends arriving uninvited on Friday evening to belatedly celebrate his birthday, bringing with them a great present (more weights for the home gym) and even a birthday cake made by one of their mums.

Loss of childhood

So our 7-11 year olds are stressed and depressed by having to live in a violent, materialistic and celebrity-obsessed society, where they don't even feel safe to walk the streets. Meanwhile, worried middle-class parents are adding to the pressure by pushing them to private tutors, in an attempt to get them into one of the few decent schools around or make up the learning deficits of the state system.

Well, what a surprise. They didn't need to do a big research project to learn that, they could just have spoken to me and my friends. We have watched all this happening before our eyes as our own children, now in their last year of compulsory schooling, have grown up.

It is scary. Whatever we do as parents does not seem to be sufficient to prepare our kids for what lies ahead.

Three notable things:

1. I've written about 800 words over the last two days as well as having some new plot ideas.

2. We sat waiting for son 1's therapist for almost half an hour this morning because the receptionist forgot to phone up and tell her we'd arrived...

3. My copy of Mslexia finally arrived in the mail...

Nobel Prize for Literature

Stop press. It has just been announced that this year's Nobel Prize for Literature has been awarded to Doris Lessing.

I have to admit that I don't think I have read much by her. A few short stories, I believe, and I definitely read The Good Terrorist, though I don't remember much about it.

My clearest memory of Doris Lessing's work was an attempt to read The Golden Notebook in my early twenties. I soon gave up. But I am older now, if not wiser, and with my new-found interest in mental health issues, I recently thought I should give it another try. It is sitting in my hefty to-be-read pile. Perhaps today's news will propel it closer to the top.

Three notable things:

1. I woke up at 4am today and couldn't get back to sleep. I ended up watching a Panorama documentary about the sub-prime mortgage market. Even that didn't send me back to sleep!

2. I'm having a quiet day and actually going to spend a few hours writing this afternoon, I hope.

3. Cally has just posted something fascinating on her blog. Go and take a look here.

Talking therapies

You may remember that I am quite a fan of talking therapies.

So I was very heartened to read today that the government is going to make more money available to fund such therapy. Some people will still need medication and indeed it is often prescribed alongside the therapy. But I'm sure it will help many people to keep off drugs, which are currrently widely prescribed by GPs because they have few other options for people who do not have acute mental health problems. Only this morning a friend was telling me about someone who would not be considered an emergency case but would clearly benefit from some counselling or CBT. She was asking what the options were for finding help for this young adult.

Let's hope this promise is kept, because it can only be a Good Thing for 900,000 people.

Three notable things:

1. The post arrived today ( afer the Royal Mail strike)!

2. The post included a copy of Miranda July's short story collection No One Belongs Here More Than You which recently won the Frank O'Connor prize for short fiction, when one of my favourite short story writers, Alice Munro, didn't even get on the shortlist.

3. Both boys have a nasty cold. I am hoping not to catch it!

What drives you to write?

The Times Cheltenham Literature Festival is, not unsurprisingly, featuring heavily in The Times newspaper this week.

After this article on plotting by crime writer Andrew Taylor, todays edition features various authors talking about what drives them to write.

Keep an eye on the website for more articles and podcasts.

Three notable things:

1. A lovely two hour coffee break in Starbucks today with a friend who also has an autistic teenage son.

2. Sorting out some personal financial planning at the bank before the coffee break.

3. Buying myself a pretty cardigan on a very rainy day!

Another birthday

Hot on the heels of the blog birthday on Saturday comes son 1's birthday today. My baby is 16. Which makes certain things legal...but I'd prefer not to think about that!

He couldn't make up his mind what he wanted for his main present, so we gave him money and today he and I went to the bank to open his first current account, with a standing order from my account to his for his allowance each week. We are trying to teach him some financial responsibility in the hope that he actually will be ready to fly the nest one day...

Three notable things:

1. Son 1's birthday. It has made me feel very old.

2. Thinking about the dedicated neo-natal unit staff who saved his life 16 years ago. My poem about the experience is here.

3. The M&S chocolate Doctor Who Dalek cake we will all be eating this evening to celebrate.

One year ago...

...or rather one year ago tomorrow, I started this blog.

It was actually my second attempt at blogging following a rather half-hearted effort during my OU A215 course, which ground to a halt when we hit a family crisis.

When I started I wasn't entirely sure what I wanted this blog to be. A record of my writing progress certainly, but also a place to talk about other things which catch my eye or affect my life, both good and bad. After all, there is more to a writer than just writing. It is not a showcase for my more polished writing, some of which can be found elsewhere, but a space for spontaneous communication.

I didn't know what to expect from the blog. At first I wondered if anyone would ever read it, but somehow I have found an audience. Along the way the way I have 'met' some lovely people and have had visits from readers all over the world. I'm loving it all, even if blogging is time-consuming and a major distraction from my novel writing!

I'm looking forward to the second year...

Three notable things:

1. The blog birthday tomorrow.

2. All the wonderful blogs I have discovered through having my own. Each and every one in my blogroll and listed at Novel Racers is well worth a visit!

3. After a lot of thought I would like to pass on the Rockin' Blogger award to Lane, Viki and Jen. It was so hard to choose because all the blogs I read deserve it...

Another award

Just popping in quickly to say a huge thank you to Crystal Jigsaw for my latest award...Rockin' Blogger. I've spread my awards out in the sidebar now, just for variety...I like to play around with the layout of my blog.

I'm going to have a think about who to pass the Rockin' Blogger award on to. Watch this space!

Control freakery

When you live in the same house as someone who is on the autistic spectrum, you get used to living with a control freak. Everything has to be just so. Things must always be put away in the same place. Routines have to be followed for even the most basic tasks. Deviations can cause severe anxiety.

Son 2 is actually becoming more flexible as he gets older, but we are careful always to warn him in advance of changes. We have become so used to living in this way that it has become the norm.

So I was interested to do this little quiz...and relieved by the result! Why don't you have a go ?

You Are 24% Control Freak

You have achieved the perfect balance of control and letting go. You tend to roll with whatever life brings, but you never get complacent.

Are You A Control Freak?

Three notable things:

1. The bit about not getting complacent in life is so true. I've found in the past that if I do, everything rapidly goes pear-shaped!

2. It has not been raining quite so much today, but I'm not going to get complacent...

3. I've managed to get quite a lot of voluntary work done today, which is a weight off my mind.

Writing books and Stephen Fry

ChrisH picked an interesting topic for last Friday's coffee morning at the Novel Racers blog. What books, courses or other tools have we all found useful? Needless to say, the replies sent me off in search of my credit card and I have ordered a couple of tomes which several people had found useful. There is nothing like personal recommendation and I must admit I wasn't aware of some of the books before.

Novel Racers is, of course, a group of people writing novels. But I do like to dabble in short stories and poetry as well and on Saturday I found a cheap copy of the inimitable Stephen Fry's book 'The Ode Less Travelled' which is finally out in paperback. This was highly recommended by fellow students on the OU A215 course last year, so I am looking forward to dipping into it, especially after watching an evening of Stephen Fry TV programmes on Saturday.

On his way to work a few weeks ago, Hubby also spotted a casually dressed Stephen Fry out walking early in the morning. But as I am not writing for Heat magazine and I really don't want to be sued, I shall not say where...

(With apologies to Lane, who has also written about Stephen Fry today. That is what happens when someone famous has just celebrated a birthday! Can he really only be 50?)

Three notable things:

1. I had an appointment at the bank this morning but they had to cancel because the computer was down. Hooray!

2. As the appointment was cancelled I didn't have to go out in the rain at all.

3. I've just seen a TV ad for Galaxy. I NEED some chocolate. Now.

Autism blogs

Autism plays a large part in our lives, yet I have never wanted this blog to be mainly about it. Of course the subject does come up from time, but as you know I do guard my children's privacy in many respects and I want my readers to see that there is more to my existence than son 2's autism. Son 2 is a happy, healthy, much-loved boy who lives life to the full on his own terms. End of story.

In any case, there are many bloggers out there who write about life with autism far more eloquently than me. I recently discovered Mother of Shrek, a blog in which Casdok writes honestly and movingly about her autistic son. If you have any interest in autism then do take a look, this has quickly become one of my daily must-reads.

The novel I am writing will also have autism as one of its central themes. Definitely a case of writing about what you know, though I have to say that it is fictional, NOT my personal story! There is a sneak peek here and I have even written a little more today, until I became bogged down in one chapter...

Three notable things:

1. Ripe apples are falling from the tree in our garden.

2. I managed to write another couple of hundred words. My motivation is increasing, even though the creativity was somewhat lacking today.

3. I put the central heating on this afternoon, as son 1 and I both felt cold. I never put it on in September!

Life changing decisions

OK, the title is a bit over-dramatic. But there has been a lot of soul-searching amongst some members of the Novel Racers group recently. Including me.

So, in the last three days I have made some decisions to try to simplify my life. On Tuesday, at the committee meeting, I told my colleagues that I intend to stand down as treasurer of the voluntary group in November. I am happy to stay involved, but I want the time I give to be on my own terms, rather than dictated by others which it has been in recent years. After all, it is unpaid voluntary work, it shouldn't require so much input.

Today I have just cancelled my gym membership. Not because I don't like going, but my gym is a 15-20 minute drive from home and a visit there for a yoga class or swim, plus a coffee and a browse around the adjoining shops easily takes the best part of half a day. For cost reasons I only had off-peak membership, but couldn't get there at all in school holidays. Even going twice a week in term-time, the fee was barely cost effective and right now I don't think I have time to go that often. I need to be around to taxi son 1 to appointments and of course, Iwant to study and write. I'm not Superwoman.

So, I've freed up more time to write. I won't give up yoga entirely, as it does help my bad back. I will try to do it seriously at home and later perhaps look around for a suitable more local class. I've been doing it long enough to practice safely at home, I think. In the eighteen months since son 1 became very ill, I have got out of the habit of doing organised exercise anyway. I can walk. I can use our new crosstrainer if I feel like it. I might even join the low-key exercise club my friend attends, which is just down the road. Life moves on.

Anyway, if you will excuse me, I am off to Amazon to order some yoga DVDs...

Three notable things:

1. Making pressure-reducing decisions to allow myself more time to write and study.

2. Reading almost half of 'The End of the Affair' while son 1 was in an appointment this morning.

3. Feeling very sad watching the current events in Burma, yet so glad that the internet is enabling the world to see the sort of atrocities which are perpetrated to suppress free speech there.

Image by Free-StockPhotos.com

The gossip

Both Crystal Jigsaw and Jan have asked what my friend and I gossiped about yesterday. You may not be surprised to hear that it was mostly about our kids. We barely touched on her recent exotic holiday or other aspects of our lives.

In fact much of it was not so much gossiping as bitching. About school. The school which let son 1 down so badly and is failing her son too. About how the climate of bullying starts right at the very top there. About the need to make formal complaints.

She also talked about the girls. Girls we have known since the beginning of primary school yet now, at 15, can barely recognise. She told me how her underage son comes home and tells her how sexually available they make themselves to the boys. Son 1 is still at the stage of prefering to mix with other boys, having adventures on bikes rather than hanging around in town. He finds the 'gobby' girls scary and to be honest, so do I sometimes, though in a different way.

I hadn't intended to blog about this. However, not only was I asked, but on opening the paper today I found this article, which I think says a lot about what it is to be a teenage girl today.

I'm just so glad I don't have girls to worry about.

Three notable things:

1. I had my eyes tested today and ordered some new glasses. I fear I may have made an expensive mistake. Ho hum.

2. I'm going out tonight, though it is only a boring committee meeting, with nothing stronger than coffee to drink as we will all be driving.

3. I'm enjoying having no work or study to do for a few weeks.

Stormy weather

I woke up this morning to the sound of the wind howling outside and the sight of our mutant giant pear tree swaying alarmingly in the onslaught. It was not long before the rain started, so I searched for son 2's waterproof jacket and put it by the door. He moved it and put his cotton summer jacket there. We were still arguing the toss when the school bus arrived, but in the end I let him have his own way, as the TV weather forecast had seemed much better for later in the day and so it has been. Some battles are just not worth fighting.

I haven't written any more over the weekend , although I have been doing some thinking and planning of possible scenes. Today I had to go to the dentist this morning and although I had every intention of writing after lunch, in the end the lure of coffee and gossip at a friend's house was just too much.

Three notable things:

1. No fillings needed at the dentist!

2. Son 2 got kicked when he managed to get himself in the way of a playground fight today. His teacher thought he might have a nasty bruise by the time he got home, but I can't see one. He's probably been lucky.

3. Hearing some interesting gossip this afternoon.

Back on track

Thank you to everyone who left messages of encouragement on my last post. They spurred me on to write again. Only 500 words or so, but it is a start.

The other good news is that I finished my accountancy work this afternoon. So from now on I will have more time to devote to the novel and I will do my best to work on it every day. I seem to have got some motivation back, thanks to my lovely blog readers and the Novel Racers. Long may it continue.

Three notable things:

1. Hubby returned from Brussels with a box of ridiculously expensive but totally delicious Belgian chocolates.No Kipling bag though!

2. I am really please about how well my work assignment went...finished on time, with no major stress or panics. Just how work should be.

3. The scarf I am knitting is almost half complete. I will be starting the second ball of yarn soon.

Novel introspection

Although I haven't updated my wordcounter, I did write a little more of my novel last weekend. The problem was that I also chopped out some of what I'd previously written, so there was probably no net gain.

I was thinking about my lack of progress. Part of it has been not having time this year and also not being mentally in a very good place, a situation which hopefully should start to improve as of next week. I have no choice but to write during the day, when son 2 is at school, but of course I also have other things to do in those few short hours.

But I think my way of writing is also impeding me. I started this novel soon after completing a creative writing course where I was working on short pieces. The sort of writing where every word matters. I have found it difficult to change my way of working to just plough ahead with a 'shitty first draft' and keep going back and editing my first three chapters. Its not as if I don't know where the story is going...the plot outline is very clear in my mind, although there will be many dots to join on the way.

Does anyone have tips as to how I can get myself to look at the bigger picture and actually make faster progress?

Three notable things:

1. I managed to escape into town this morning to buy the new speakers for son 2's computer and some more paper for the printer. Yet another new coffee shop has just opened!

2. Son 1 has been invited out for a sleepover on Friday. I hope he won't get too anxious or forget to take his meds.

3. Work went surprisingly well again today...just two more days work to do on these accounts ( and possibly part of the weekend if needed.)

A bit of fun

I've been far too serious on here recently. That's what happens when you don't get out enough...

So, for today, here is a little distraction. I expect you have all seen this little quiz elsewhere in the blogosphere, but I was very happy with my result, as I loved the Anne of Green Gables books. What do you think?

You're Anne of Green Gables!

by L.M. Montgomery

Bright, chipper, vivid, but with the emotional fortitude of cottage
cheese, you make quite an impression on everyone you meet. You're impulsive, rash,
honest, and probably don't have a great relationship with your parents. People hurt
your feelings constantly, but your brazen honestly doesn't exactly treat others with
kid gloves. Ultimately, though, you win the hearts and minds of everyone that matters.
You spell your name with an E and you want everyone to know about it.


Take the Book Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid.

If you haven't already done so, why not have a go?


Three notable things:

1. We don't have any savings in Northern Rock!

2. Son 2 has just broken the speakers on his computer. A shopping trip is needed tomorrow!

3. Work is going surprisingly well. How can that be?

Mind, body, spirit

I really do believe that mental and physical health are much more closely interlinked than was once recognised. We have seen undisputed evidence of that here in our own family.

So I was interested in this article about cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) and how it is now proven to benefit some physical conditions as well as psychological ones. Son 1 has been receiving CBT for some time now and it is certainly working for him, improving both mental and socially crippling physical symptoms.

So I was a little surprised to read that some sufferers of ME/CFS do not accept that CBT might be helpful. To be honest I don't know enough about ME/CFS to have an educated opinion myself, and I would certainly not want to offend anyone who has the condition, but I do believe it is a very real illness and would therefore have thought that CBT might be worth a try. After all it is unlikely to do any harm and it does apparently help some sufferers. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy for Dummies provides a very accessible introduction to the subject.

The OU course I have just finished was all about taking a holistic approach to health...in that case concentrating on mental health but the principles apply equally to physical symptoms. The holistic model recognises that people have many needs, including physical, social and spiritual, all of which should be taken into consideration in a perfect care or treatment plan. Idealistic? Maybe. But surely the way to go if at all possible.

Three notable things:

1. Thanks to Trashionista, I found this interesting feature on writer's rooms at the Guardian website.

2. I am just about to start reading Graham Greene's 'The End of the Affair' as suggested by Susan Hill. I have a feeling I may have read it many years ago, but can't remember anything about it...

3. No word from Hubby in Brussels so I guess he and his friend are already stuck into the beers... I did suggest he brought me back a Kipling handbag, but just got told that I already have far too many bags. It's true. Let's hope he brings some chocolates instead!

Life plans

I must be getting old and cynical. I was reading an article in today's You magazine about how young women probably spend too much time creating life plans and not enough enjoying living, and I found myself nodding in agreement.

I don't think I really believe in life plans anymore. When I was a teenager I thought I had my life all mapped out...A Levels, university, a high-flying career. I wasn't even going to think about settling down or getting married until I was at least 30. I didn't want kids.

So what happened? I met someone at 19 who I thought was 'the One'. I suddenly realised that I really did want a baby, with him. It was a biological revelation. But first we had university to finish and sadly our relationship didn't survive an enforced separation. I went on to train for the career. Before I was even fully qualified I had met the man I would marry. In my twenties. A period of ill health and job changes meant that plans for babies had to be postponed for a while, but I fell pregnant in my very early thirties. I never went back to the lucrative career.

We are not leading the lifestyle now which we had originally envisioned. There is, for example, no holiday home abroad. Both our children have additional needs. But we get on with making the best out of life as it is rather than dwelling on what might have been or trying to look too far into the future. Trying to plan too much can turn people into control freaks and of course control freaks don't tend to cope well when life throws a curve ball.

Which, as we know here, it so often does.

Three notable things:

1. Hubby is, hopefully, en route to Brussels for a short break. That is, if his mate turned up at the station in time for them to get on Eurostar!

2. I've just been looking back at the opening chapters of my novel and there is not as much revision to do as I thought. Can't wait to get going with writing new chapters.

3. I am knitting another scarf, using silk and cashmere yarn in spicy shades of yellow, orange, coral, purple and beige. I think this one will be a present for a friend.

Good buys

A parcel arrived this afternoon containing this and these ( bought by redeeming my Book People points). What a treat!

A fragmented day today, with food shopping and a few other minor chores to be done, as well as work. I am so looking forward to finishing this figure work and getting my head back to the world of writing. With things gradually improving at home I am feeling that the fog, which has stopped me being able to concentrate, is finally lifting from my brain.

Three notable things:

1. My book parcel.

2. Son 1 doing some computer back-ups for me...I am so bad about doing that, except for important writing!

3. Watching the moving eulogy by the husband of Jane Tomlinson on the TV news report of her funeral. A truly inspiring woman.

Results day

My Open University K272 course results were published today. I had actually forgotten they were due by tomorrow!

I scraped a Pass 2 ( sort of 2:1 equivalent) which I am pleased with. Not my best result ever, but to be honest I did well to finish the course at all. It was interesting, yet also quite complex to understand what was wanted when writing the essays, as I suppose it was all quite theoretical and subjective.

Anyway now I can get back to some writing, or at least I can in two weeks time when I have finished my accountancy work...

Three notable things:

1. My exam result.

2. Feeling very proud of son 1, who found the courage to go into his old school yesterday and tell the head of year what he had experienced there, in the hope that she can protect one of his friends from bullying.

3. Yet another visit to the dental hygienist, who said my gums were healthier than last time and asked me what I had done differently. All I could think of was that the battery has run out in my toothbrush...

Journalism and news

I am something of a news and information junkie. If there is nothing much on television I will normally tune into a news or documentary channel rather entertainment.I used to watch Sky News, because I thought they were quicker with breaking news than BBC News 24. But, since we get our digital TV from Virgin Media, we no longer have Sky News due to the dispute. Still, the BBC does not usually disappoint.

Recently there was an incident which affected someone of whom I knew. It was a matter of public interest and was picked up by the BBC, on the News 24 channel at least. The next day I scoured several quality newspapers for updates and found no mention of the story. This may, of course, have been for legal reasons. Which started me thinking about the implications of journalism, about what can and what should be printed or reported. For someone who can write, journalism of any kind might seem like an easy option, but there is so much more to it, so many legal and libel implications. Not just in respect of news, but in any piece where you are giving information and indeed any facts, which should be scrupulously checked for accuracy.

The recent media circus around the family of Madeleine McCann has reinforced my worries. Of course her parents courted the media in the early days and so cannot really complain now that they are becoming targets of the press. But, without making any presumptions of innocence or guilt, it reminds me uncomfortably of a book I read many years ago for my degree: The Lost Honour of Katerina Blum by Heinrich Boll. (For those who know German, Boll should have an Umlaut, but I don't think I can type that and somehow Boell doesn't look right at all!)

You probably won't have read the book or seen the film based upon it, which actually came out in 1975. But in the current political climate post 9/11, the underlying themes of the press destroying the life of a potentially innocent person, who has briefly associated with a criminal/terrorist, seem just as relevant today as they did then.

Three notable things:

1. I reached my work target for the day.

2. I sat though a meeting this morning and realised the chairperson had taken on board the contents of an email I sent last week, even though I had received no reply.

3. I completed the first exercise for Susan Hill's course.

Susan Hill's writing course...

...has started!

An interesting first exercise looking at opening sentences will keep me busy this afternoon. Luckily, due to my shopaholic tendencies and serious charity shop habit, I have plenty of books in the house to peruse.

I am really looking forward to following this no pressure course, because I find I learn something new from every book on writing I read or course I take. Yet I also like the idea that Susan Hill is going to encourage her students to break the 'rules', because I, too, don't believe that writing is all about rules as such. What is taught on creative writing courses should be just guidance, not a recipe for creating books 'by numbers'.

For me, probably the best part about taking the Open University writing courses has been the interaction with other students and being able to receive constructive criticism. Of course you don't actually have to take a formal course to get that...just find a writer's group you feel comfortable with, whether in person or online, but above all find a group of people who will look at your work objectively and not just tell you what you want to hear. In some ways a formal course does add some objectivity and academic rigour to a process which is in so many ways subjective. But learning from longstanding, very successful authors must be one of the best ways to learn.

Three notable things:

1. Son 1 and I have just made a pact for the sake of his health. He will give up fizzy drinks if I give up chocolate. How am I going to survive?

2. I didn't get as much work done as I had hoped on Friday, but I'm not in a panic. Not yet, anyway.

3. I am becoming a BBC News 24 whore. More about that later.

Dietary interventions

Modified diets have been an important and often controversial topic of conversation amongst parents of children with autism or ADHD for a long time. Now a study has actually come out and said what parents have known for a long time, namely that children's behaviour is affected by food additives in drinks and confectionary.

Of course it is not just additives that can alter behaviour. Some people are affected by gluten in wheat products and casein in milk products. Then of course there is also the caffeine in cola. Son 1's anxiety is noticably increased if he drinks Pepsi or Coke, both of which he loves and is finding hard to give up ( caffeine-free Coke apparently not being the same!)

Special diets don't work for all children. We tried a gluten-free/casein-free diet on son 2 and it had no effect. We eventually gave up because it was also hard to stick to it rigidly without putting the whole family on the diet, which would have been unfair to son 1. But I do personally know autistic children who have benefitted significantly from such a diet, so it must always be worth a try, as are fish oil and multi-vitamin supplements to remedy any potential deficits.

In any case reducing or cutting out the additives in children's diets is just common sense and can only benefit all.

Three notable things:

1. The woodpecker was on our fruit trees again today.

2. I hope he survived the attentions of two beautiful cats, one black and one ginger, who have strolled across our grass at different times today. We don't get that many cats coming through and these two were both gorgeous.

3. More work got done. More stress means less success but I feel quite relaxed about it at the moment.

Sense of style

I've always envied women who are effortlessly stylish. For some it seems to come so naturally, but I am definitely not one of them.

I think my personal sense of style has always been a little boyish. We were brought up by a religious mother with a total disinterest in fashion and beauty, and as a result both my sister and I tend towards the practical rather than the pretty.

As a student I started to develop a little of my own style, using quirky accessories which stood out, but also experimenting with items of sexier clothing which horrified my mother. However, on entering a staid profession my workwear had to be business (skirt) suits, and as a woman fighting to progress in what was essentially a man's world, I made little concession to feminine fripperies other than make-up and a little jewellery.

I'll gloss over my early years as a parent, when I wore leggings (first time round) for far longer than I should have, simply because they were easy care and easy wear. I was overwhelmed by parenthood and we were short of money, well that is my excuse anyway. I prefered to concentrate my efforts on nice clothes for my babies.

Finally, with both boys in school, I started to develop what I think is my real style. I abandoned utilitarian plain cotton t-shirts for pretty patterned tops, which can be worn with jeans by day or tailored trousers for smarter occasions. I accepted the fact that I am never going to be a skirt person, but developed once again a love for unusual accessories. I learnt to spend more on classic items and less on what might be termed fashion. I even found a brand of jeans which generally fits me quite well, not easy when you are short but also a larger lady. I'm still not a girly dresser, but I hope I have finally found something of a balance between practicality, comfort and femininity. I have come to terms with my size and learnt to work with it, rather than against it for the sake of fashion.

At last I actually like my style and for now I am sticking with it.

Three notable things:

1. Son 1 is singing and whistling around the house for the first time in a couple of years.

2. I managed to do a Tesco shop and some successful work today.

3. Tesco is currently selling chart paperbacks at two for £7. I must resist!

Labelling women's fiction

Yes, I know we have had this debate before.

In the early days of this blog I wrote a post about how I didn't read chick lit, or rather I thought I didn't, but then I realised that in fact a number of books I had enjoyed were actually packaged as chick lit. My post provoked a flurry of comments ( very exciting when you are a new blogger!) and aroused some strong feelings.

I still have trouble with the term chick lit. For a start I am not a chick, I am far too old! Even when I was young enough, I think I would have felt insulted if anyone called me a chick...somehow it seems to demean the depth of women's experiences in their twenties and thirties. But I do know that chick lit provokes a lot of controversy, both pro and con. In order to learn more about the chick lit phenomenon, I have become a regular reader of Trashionista, which reviews chick lit and related matters from both sides of the Atlantic. I have to admit it has led me to some interesting books, especially through their non-chick lit More on Monday slot.

Anyway, I recently read an interesting debate on a forum about the labelling of fiction and thanks to Carenza, I found this piece by Dorothy Koomson. To be honest I have never read any of Dorothy's books, but I will now look out for them as the latest two, certainly, sound like novels I might enjoy. But it is interesting that she doesn't want her work to be labelled as chick lit and indeed the covers appear to indicate that they are perhaps aimed more towards readers of Jodi Picoult than of, say, Sophie Kinsella. That interests me because I think Picoult market will also be the one to which my own fledgling novel is likely to appeal.

I like Dorothy's input into the labelling debate, even though I am not sure whether heart lit is actually that much better as a term than chick lit! Why can't publishers just call such books something like contemporary women's fiction and use covers which appeal to women of all ages? I suspect a number of decent books may have been done a disservice by pastel-coloured, cartoon bedecked covers and a whole audience for other women's fiction lost because they only look for chick lit style covers.

So when some people in the trade are quoted as saying chick lit is dead, I don't think it necessarily means that the genre itself is dead, but that it perhaps needs to be repackaged to appeal to a wider audience who may have been put off by the name and the covers.

Three notable things:

1. School started back today. The house has been blissfully quiet.

2. I have finished my scarf. Just need to sew the ends in now. I am pleased with it...I know there is at least one 'deliberate' mistake in the pattern, but hey, nothing handmade is perfect!

3. I managed to get some work done, despite being called out to taxi son 1 to and from an appointment... 'It's too hot to cycle, Mum!'

Welcome, September!

I was glad to see the end of August. It had been a strange month, not just because my usual routines were disrupted by the school holidays, but also because it was a month of extreme highs and lows.

On the home front things have generally been pretty good over the summer. But I have learnt over the years never to become complacent when things seem to be going well. True to form, more than once during the month I received bad news which, although not affecting me directly, was enough to make me stop in my tracks and re-evaluate the possible future.

On Saturday afternoon I wandered around town in need of something to cheer me up. Browsing in Waterstone's, I spotted new paperbacks by two of my favourite authors on the 'three for two' offer tables. Having picked up Moral Disorder by Margaret Atwood and The View from Castle Rock by Alice Munro, I needed to choose a third book. I was drawn to Over by Margaret Forster but in the end plumped for The Story of You by Julie Myerson. I paid by cash, so Hubby won't see them on the credit card, and sneaked them into the house later, hidden in a large bag of clothes bought for son 1.

Another guilty secret, yet a healthier treat than a family-sized bar of chocolate and they succeeded in lifting what had been a despondent mood!

Three notable things:

1. Son 1 has been on a high and achieved a lot over the last week.

2. Last day of the school holiday today!

3. Being contacted via Facebook by someone I hadn't 'spoken' to for ages and finding we actually have a local friend in common and I never knew!

Arthur Miller's son

I suppose I am starting to get my brain into drama mode in preparation for my Open University Start Writing Plays course which begins in October. Anyway I was fascinated to read this piece about Arthur Miller in The Times.

I vaguely remember reading somewhere before, probably in an obituary, that Miller had a son with Down's Syndrome. I hadn't, however, realised the whole sad story. Although it was much more common to institutionalise disabled children back in the 1960's and earlier, Miller's disownment of his son and treatment of his wife, who wanted to keep the child at home, do seem rather callous.

His reasoning was that he didn't want his daughter, Rebecca, to grow up with a 'mongoloid' brother. Actually, being a sibling of a disabled child need not be all bad. Sure, some siblings have issues, as do any children. In my experience, however, many siblings grow up to be more mature and empathetic than average and a surprising number of them actually go on to work in caring professions.

But serious sibling issues are also going to be raised in Coming Down the Mountain, a new drama by Mark Haddon , which is due to air on Sunday on BBC1. Although I loved Haddon's novel, The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time, I don't think I will watch the film, it just might be too close to home for comfort right now.

It is good to read that in fact it was the husband of Rebecca Miller, Daniel Day-Lewis, who may well have been instrumental in Miller's acceptance of his disabled son at the end of his life and that the son in question, also called Daniel, appears to have grown up to have some success and independence in adulthood. One just wonders what he might have achieved with the support of a loving family in his early years.

Three notable things:

1. The scarf I am knitting is growing and growing...

2. Spotting a solitary and rather over-fed magpie sitting on the garden fence and not forgetting to say 'hello Mr Magpie'!

3. A neighbour doing some gardening for us in return for the pristine bike we gave his son whilst clearing out our garage.

Parenting matters

I was flicking through our newspaper yesterday when my eye was caught by this interview with Dr Tanya Byron, about why she no longer wants to make TV programmes about parenting.

I have to admit that I have enjoyed watching some of her programmes such as House of Tiny Tearaways, as she has always struck me as a professional with a lot of common sense and empathy. But at the same time I can see the point that some parenting programmes can become rather voyeuristic, in the same manner as shows like those of Jeremy Kyle or Jerry Springer.

Of course there have always been childcare gurus...my mother was led by Dr Benjamin Spock, I had books by Penelope Leach and Dr Miriam Stoppard. But the amount of parenting advice that is out there now seems excessive. I'm sure there are far more parenting magazines than there were ten years ago and when you add in TV programmes is it any wonder that parents get confused?

Personally, I believe that successful parenting comes from a mix of common sense and listening to your own instincts. There can be no overall rules, because every child is different and every family has different dynamics. You just have to work out what suits your own circumstances.

Of course I am not a perfect parent myself, but at least I think we can honestly say we have found our own way to raise our children, influenced perhaps by our own upbringings. We try to set a good example in the way that we ourselves behave and the bottom line is that we put the children's needs first.

As simple as that.

Three notable things:

1. Son 1 has spent the whole day out with friends.

2. Son 2 enjoyed his last day at playscheme for this holiday.

3. I did some work today ( just not the bits I was supposed to be doing...)

The path to self-destruction

Drink, drugs, self-harm, domestic violence, there seems to be little that Amy Winehouse is not allegedly involved in. The recent pictures of Amy and her new husband Blake Fielder-Civil, both bloodied and bruised, were shocking yet perhaps not surprising, as her recent performances have been erratic and unreliable...I commented on that at the beginning of the year.

Such a waste of talent. I liked Amy's first album, Frank, but I absolutely adored the latest, Back to Black, which has made her name on both sides of the Atlantic. The girl has the world at her feet if she could just accept help, soon.

Amy's parents-in-law and her father have spoken on the radio this week of the plight of Amy and Blake (click on the links for the transcripts) and there seems to be conflict as to what should be done.

But the truth of the matter is this; Amy and Blake are adults. They have the right to turn down treatment and help, even if doing so ultimately leads to tragedy. Actually even teenagers who are not legally adults cannot be forced to accept treatment they don't want and there is nothing a parent can do about it. The NHS has the right to withdraw services if they are not being accessed consistently. An adult has the right to refuse or to walk out of rehab, and all too many do.

Drink and drugs destroy too many lives, but none of this is new, as Pete Doherty's parents would no doubt tell Amy's. Sometimes all you can do is to sadly stand back and watch them self-destruct.

Three notable things:

1. The crosstrainer arrived at 8am and son 1 has assembled it.

2. I didn't damage the car I nudged into when reversing out of a parking space yesterday...

3. ...and I started to tackle the ironing mountain when I got home!

My bank holiday weekend

While everyone else was out enjoying themselves in the sun, I was working on Sunday and Monday. You know, the sort of work you do to pay the bills.

Most of you are probably not aware that I am a qualified accountant. I haven't worked in an accountancy practice for almost 16 years and frankly I have no intention of ever returning, but I do keep my hand in a little by preparing the accounts for my husband's business. He pays me for my work, it is all legitimate and the work is done from home. This means I can work my hours very flexibly around the needs of the boys.

Every year the company's books are audited in September and every year I end up in a mad panic at the end of the summer, working over the bank holiday, tearing my hair out as to whether I can meet the deadline.

Why do I put myself through it? I know when things have to be completed yet somehow there is so often something more important to do. Such as Open University study, unpaid voluntary work or just surfing the internet. All those things which don't pay. Even when I try to clear whole days for work something goes wrong...an unexpected appointment to attend or Hubby forgets to bring the right paperwork home the night before. He works in Central London so I can't easily just rush round to get what I need.

Anyway for the next three weeks or so I will be tapping away on my calculator ( or at least I will when son 2 goes back to school next week.) I will be swearing when the figures don't balance and I may not get on here quite as regularly as usual.

Just doing the accounts will remind me that the part of accountancy I actually enjoyed was getting out and meeting people as an auditor. It was never the figures. It will also reinforce my gut feeling that I am temperamentally much more suited to writing, even if I never make a penny from it.

Three notable things:

1. Finally getting some figures to balance yesterday after spending days thinking perhaps I was going mad.

2. Not having to work today because I spent most of the day being Mum's Taxi service.

3. Persuading Son 1 to go to his therapy today when he didn't really want to, but then his therapist being really pleased with the work they did.

Young adult fiction

I have been thinking about the phenomena of 'young adult' fiction. To be honest I am not sure I really understand what differentiates between young adult, crossover and adult fiction. Is it just the age of the protagonist or is it the style in which it is written? Are some young adult books just dumbed-down fiction aimed at older teenagers with poor literacy skills?

Don't get me wrong, I think there are many great children's/crossover books out there...Jacqueline Wilson, J K Rowling and Meg Rosoff spring to mind for starters as good contemporary authors who would encourage young people to read and I know there are many others I have not even read...Michael Morpurgo, Eoin Colfer etc. I would be very interested to learn more about what publishers consider to be young adult fiction, even though I don't think I am likely to write any myself.

What did I read as a teenager? Certainly there were 'coming of age' stories... the Anne of Green Gables series, I Capture the Castle, Bonjour Tristesse to name a few. But all of these were originally written for a wider general market and none of them were 'contemporary' when I was a teenager in the ...umm...1970's. Then of course there were American classics such as The Catcher in the Rye. I also remember reading The Go-Between, Love for Lydia, some Carson McCullers. The only novel I can actually recall which might have been truly written for the young adult market was called 'Fifteen' by Beverly Cleary, an American writer.

Of course we also read the commercial hits of the day. As a keen rider I enjoyed the Dick Francis racing mysteries. I lapped up Agatha Christie's gentle crime fiction and Dennis Wheatley's occult novels. I loved Anya Seton's wonderfully detailed historical novels. I ploughed through The Hobbit and Lord of the Rings, devoured Watership Down and cried over Love Story. I tackled thick sagas by Susan Howatch and read some Catherine Cookson. I think I even read a fair number of the James Bond novels. By the end of my teens I was starting on feminist novels.

Perhaps the scope of my reading was limited by where I grew up...a small isolated town with only a tiny library and just a couple of shops selling paperback books. But I seem to remember that we got our 'teenage' information and entertainment from magazines...the classic Jackie magazine and later Cosmopolitan. We didn't need books written specially for us as well, because we were, on the whole, already mature and educated enough to read adult fiction.

Is the new trend for young adult fiction just a clever marketing trick or is it actually needed to get young people to read at all?

Three notable things:

1. It is warm and sunny today!

2. The garage has been cleaned and tidied, mats are laid on the floor to create the new 'gym' area.

3. A leisurely wander around town this afternoon, finishing with a cold drink in Starbucks.

Nice Matters

Graeme has nominated me for this Nice Matters blog award. I have to admit I had never seen this one before, so with the help of Google I discovered that it originated here and this is what the originator, Genevieve Olsen, has to say about it:

This award will be awarded to those that are just nice people , good blog friends and those that inspire good feelings and inspiration! Those that care about others that are there to lend support or those that are just a positive influence in our blogging world!

Wow, I'm flattered that Graeme thinks I deserve it! Now, who to pass it on to?

I can honestly say that the writers of all the blogs that I read regularly are equally deserving of this award. After a lot of thought, I have decided to nominate the lovely Sue at Tea, Friends and Chocolate, who runs a multi-sectioned blog for women which is just like meeting up with your best friends. She even welcomes other writers penning columns or entries for her blog and I'm sure it will continue to grow as a blogging community.

Step up to accept your well-deserved award, Sue!

Three notable things:

1. Surviving another week of the school holiday...

2. ... and there is only one more week to get through.

3. Being given another blog award!

Mind your language

I was commenting on Keris' blog earlier, when I was reminded of something amusing which happened recently.

Every Saturday morning during term time Son 2 goes to music therapy. Usually both Hubby and I take him together. Now to appreciate this, you have to realise that Son 2 is 13, severely autistic and nonverbal, except for the occasional utterance of 'Daddy'.

Anyway, this particular Saturday morning was very wet. We were in Hubby's car and Son 2 kept opening the window, a new habit of his. He is not supposed to for safety reasons of course, but especially not on a day like that when the wind was blowing the rain into the car through the glassless space.

He opened the window. Hubby pulled in and stopped the car until the window was shut. We set off and about 3 minutes later he opened the window again. We stopped. This pattern continued 4 or 5 times until we were not far from our destination. The window was finally closed yet again, son 2's fun spoilt. Hubby pulled out into the traffic, to the accompaniment of a barrage of 'jargon' ( not clear words) from Son 2, which sounded very much like a string of verbal abuse, ending in the clear word 'Daddy'!

How normal is that for a teenager?

Three notable things:

1. Not doing any paid accountancy work today, but having the excuse that I was chauffeuring the boys around for much of the day.

2. Shopping at Waitrose for a treat!

3. Getting a phone call to say Son 1's crosstrainer will arrive next week.

Love it!

I was feeling rather serious this morning and had planned to write something completely different, but having had a friend around for a good gossip this afternoon, I thought I just had to show you this picture I took on my visit to Devon.

The name is so perfect for the sleepy retirement resort in which it is situated!

Three notable things:

1. Winning 115 kids videos and a tv/video combi for £20 on eBay, which Hubby collected yesterday. Son 2 is in his element...

2. Enjoying the company of a good friend and her daughter.

3. Graeme showing the OU A215 survivors yet another addictive computer game to act as a displacement activity when we should be writing...

Male or female?

Still on the gender theme, here is a bit of fun.

I discovered the Gender Genie web page recently ( sorry, I can't remember who led me to it...) and having bookmarked it, I decided to have a go today. It claims to be able to deduce whether a piece of prose was written by a male or female from the language used.

So I entered in one of my blog entries: male. Hmm.

A small ( admittedly smaller than the recommended 500 word) passage from my novel in progress: androgynous...equally male and female!

A whole 2000 word short story, written with the women's magazine market in mind: female. Phew!

Three notable things:

1. Son 2 was well enough to go to playscheme despite having vomited all over the sofa last night! I knew we bought leather furniture for a reason...

2. Arranging for a friend to visit tomorrow so we can catch up on the gossip.

3. A home delivery arriving promptly for once, rather than 10 minutes before the end of the delivery window.

Gender wars

I keep wondering why women aren't allowed to write, or read, what they want to.

First of all Muriel Gray, in her role as chair of the Orange Prize judges, criticized women for not writing a wide enough range of fiction and for concentrating on domestic themes.

Then Ian Rankin noted last year that women, especially lesbian women, wrote more graphically violent crime fiction than men. The reponse from Val McDermid at Edinburgh this month led to this uncharacteristically lurid headline in The Times this week.

I have always enjoyed crime fiction and apparently women are the largest group reading this genre. Women get criticized for reading and writing chick lit, but whilst I would defend anyone's right to do so, there are also many of us writing and reading more broadly. Science fiction, fantasy, crime all have many women authors and fans. In any case 'women's fiction' covers a much wider range than just chick lit. Romance, sagas, historical, family stories, gritty contemporary themes...they are all there too.

You can't have it both ways. Why shouldn't women write violent crime? After all some men write romances and sagas, they just tend to do so under a female pseudonym. And since when has a sexuality of a crime writer, whether male or female, had anything to do with anything?

Three notable things:

1. The X-Factor is back!

2. Hubby and son 1 started to tidy out the garage ready to house the crosstrainer I have just ordered.

3. They found a box of to-be-read books I had forgotten about!

The weaker sex?

This is going to be a serious post, because last night I heard some bad news. The husband of an acquaintance has had a breakdown, after suffering from depression for a long time.

This was particularly sad, because this couple have three young children, one of whom is autistic. It was also devastating because it was the second friend who has suffered that experience in just a few years, another having been left as a single mother to four children, one autistic.

Earlier this week I mentioned Charlotte Moore's book George and Sam which chronicles life with two autistic sons...and a third who doesn't have autism. Her ex-husband too, suffered serious mental health issues.

It is interesting that in each of these cases it is the father who has suffered the most and I wondered why. When you discover your child is not 'normal', whatever that means, there is always a period of grieving to go through, grief for the child you once expected. Denial is a normal and recognised part of that. Some parents get through the stage of denial and on to the all important acceptance of the child and the problem much faster than others. Some never quite make it.

Mothers still tend to be the primary providers of childcare. This has good and bad sides. They are more involved with the professionals working with their children and therefore tend to be more knowledgeable about what help is on offer and what needs to be done to get it, as sadly we have to fight for that help only too often. They probably have more opportunities to meet other parents in the same position. I am sure it is no coincidence that our support group coffee mornings are almost exclusively attended by mums. On the other hand, they probably have far more exposure to 'normally' developing children and the comparison with their own offspring can be very painful.

Fathers tend to suffer alone. They may be ashamed to tell friends and work colleagues about their child's problems. They just don't have the same external support networks as we do. They may feel inadequate because this, unlike a DIY task, is not something they can put right and they may be struggling to keep the family afloat financially on one salary. They may be embarrassed to be seen with their child and are perhaps more likely to be influenced by cultural attitudes to disability.

Part of motherhood, for most women, is putting your child's needs before your own. We tend to have a primeval instinct to look after our children and accept the compromises that can involve. If we feel we are not coping we are more likely to consult our GP. Many women with special needs children are, or have been, on anti-depressants and that is nothing to be ashamed of. Men, on the other hand, may just adopt what I call the 'head in the sand' approach, that if you don't acknowledge something it will go away. Perhaps they really are the weaker sex because they can't ease the burden by sharing as women do.

I'm clutching at straws here. I don't know the answer. I just know that in this respect I have so far been lucky, unlike my two friends who are now struggling to cope with their children effectively alone.

Three notable things will return next time!

Do you want to know a secret?

I've already written here about PostSecret, a blog I try to check every week. A community art project, consisting of weekly postings of postcards which anonymously disclose deep secrets, it is an amazing source of inspiration for writing. Especially if, like me, your writing tends to focus on gritty rather than light and fluffy subject matter.

This week I logged on, to find that the blog now has this YouTube video trailer:


A closer look at YouTube finds even more, presumably unofficial, videos based on former PostSecret blog entries. Enjoy.

(video removed)

Three notable things:

1. Son 1 has started to open up to professionals about the bullying that has ruined his life.

2. We have been looking online for gym equipment, as we hope to convert part of our garage into a home gym to help him get fit again.

3. Finding PostSecret based videos on YouTube. Now why didn't I think to look there before?

Quiet

Sorry, I don't have much of interest to write about at the moment. We are all feeling a little under the weather and very tired.

Yesterday son 2 had a longer day on playscheme, as they went out on a trip (shame about the rain!) After food shopping, I just couldn't face doing anything much and mainly lazed around until it was time to collect him again...

I have, however, taken delivery of a few more books from Amazon, including Electricity by Ray Robinson which looks interesting and The Complete Polysyllabic Spree by Nick Hornby. As you may know, Nick Hornby also has an autistic son, and I was interested to read his comments on why he rarely reads biographical books on autism (p39 if you have the Penguin paperback) as it so reflects my own feelings. So many books just look at the story of an autistic savant ( with special talents) or tell the story of a family who has discovered a 'miracle cure'. Real life for 99% of families is not like that. He did, however, enjoy 'George and Sam' by Charlotte Moore, as did I. Although I am not convinced by the ABA approach used by Charlotte Moore and indeed Nick Hornby with their children, the book is an entertaining and convincing picture of living with autism.

Three notable things:

1. Agreeing with Nick Hornby about many books on autism!

2. Son 1 sorting out his own appointments and starting to take charge of his life.

3. More wool arriving in the post yesterday...

Weekend creativity

Just to prove that I can have some pretension to my new creative blogger award, here is a picture of the scarf I am knitting, which currently measures about 30 inches (75cm) long.

I found a free pattern for the feather and fan design on the web and although it looks complicated it is actually very easy to knit! For those who understand these things it is a simple pattern over four rows, knitted in hand-dyed BFL sock wool on 4.5mm needles.

Three notable things:

1. The speed at which the knitting is growing.

2. Finishing the Anita Shreve book I was reading on and off. One of her best, I thought.

3. Keeping both boys reasonably happy all day today (so far)!

Another poem

Some new work has recently been posted on WikidWords, including another of my poems which you can find here. That poem was inspired by the research I have done on mental health issues in young people, both for my recently ended Open University course and for family reasons, and also by a true story I was recently told.

Three notable things:

1.Surprisingly, Tesco was not too busy on a Saturday morning - so it was easy to park!

2. Enjoying walking round the shops in town without feeling the need to spend money on myself. Not even on a magazine.

3. I've started my knitting.

A new look

I was reading a post on the Open University writing forums earlier today about how writing on screen is more restful to read when it is not stark black on white. I immediately thought about this blog and whether it could do with a facelift.

The OU used to run a short course about writing for the internet, which I really wanted to take. I had planned to do it this year, but sadly it seems to have been discontinued. Just my luck. So I will have to carry on picking up tips from others and experimenting.

What do you think of the new look? I have actually only made two changes but I am pleased with the result, it does seem softer. Please let me know how you find it to read.

Three notable things:

1. Playing around with the colours on my blog.

2. Buying and reading a magazine when I should have been doing housework.

3. Reading Anita Shreve's 'A Wedding in December' and wondering what it would be like to have a reunion with some old university friends I haven't seen for many, many years.

Booker longlist

The longlist for this year's Booker Prize has just been announced. I've read only one of them, What was Lost, though I do also want to read the McEwan, as I have enjoyed what I have read of his work so far.

I was interested in this article, and in particular this quote:

Last night the chair of judges, Sir Howard Davies, said: "All the books chosen are well crafted and will appeal to a wide readership." Sir Howard is director of the London School of Economics.

I'm glad that the books chosen should appeal to a wide readership because being well written and being accessible to the general reader should not be mutually exclusive. That is one of my pet topics I'm afraid. I don't like overly dry or intellectual books but at the same time I do find that quite a lot of popular fiction can be simplistic and poorly written.

'What was Lost' was entertaining and definitely well crafted, yet also remarkably easy to read. It has received very good blog reviews, such as this one by dovegreyreader and has been described by some as a crossover novel with appeal to both the adult and young adult markets in the manner of Meg Rosoff and JK Rowling.

I am ashamed to say I haven't even heard of the rest of the longlist. Ho hum!

Three notable things:

1. Hearing the singer Jack Savoretti, a singer new to me, on TV yesterday and later downloading his album cheaply.

2. An interesting conversation with son 1's therapist yesterday.

3. Finding that the magnetic bracelet, recently bought to help my arthritis, actually seems to be having a beneficial effect on my mood and is making me feel calmer. Not an easy achievement during school holiday.