Sunday, November 11, 2007

Never forget


Today is the day for wearing a poppy and remembering those who have lost their lives fighting for our country.

My paternal grandfather fought in World War One. He must have been quite young but I believe he met my grandmother through a pen pal scheme for soldiers. They finally married and had children relatively late in life. I never knew that grandfather, he died when my father was still a teenager.

My maternal grandfather was of the age group which could have been enlisted into the Second World War. As a bank manager, however, he was exempt from being called up, though he did work for the Home Guard in true Dad's Army fashion. I think he may have been an air raid warden. He later experienced some mental health problems during his life.

My parents have never talked much about the experiences which they, as children, had during the war or of how it affected their parents. I know that my father and his brother watched the Blitz over Exeter and that his family hosted young evacuees from London. Of my mother's experiences in the Midlands I know relatively little, though she is younger and perhaps remembers less. Or was it all just too traumatic for them to process and pass down? Are those memories perhaps still compartmentalised and locked away?

We, and our children, have of course known this country to be at war, but never anywhere near home territory. Even seeing the horrors that we do on television cannot begin to compare with what my parents might have seen and experienced and they were lucky enough not to lose a close relative. Those families who have lost loved ones, in any conflict, deserve our respect and remembrance as, of course, do all the survivors.

We must never forget.

Three notable things:

1. I'm quite pleased with my response piece on Your Messages today.

2. The X Factor is hotting up. Wasn't Rhydian class last night? Watch it here.

3. I've just manged to complete a brief piece for an OU tutorial...last minute stuff but at least I did it!

Friday, November 09, 2007

Virago books


I expect most female readers ( and many male) will at some time have read a book published by the Virago Press.

I was hopping around some blogs today and came across this picture, which suddenly made me wonder what current books by women will survive to be reissued decades hence in the way that Virago has traditionally resurrected little-known female writers? Of course Virago does also publish contemporary work by talented writers such as Margaret Atwood and Sarah Waters, but there must be many more current female authors who will deserve to be re-read in the future, long after their books might normally have gone out of print.

I have my personal favourites, of course, but I'd love to hear yours.

Three notable things:

1. I'm free of the voluntary work!

2. As a leaving/thank you gift I received gift cards for Waterstone's and Marks & Spencer. I can feel some retail therapy coming on...

3. I'm still posting a piece of flash prose here every day. Wonder how long I can keep that up?

Wednesday, November 07, 2007

Oh so quiet...

It seems really quiet in the blogosphere at the moment, or at least on the blogs I regularly visit. Perhaps everyone is up to their necks in NaNoWriMo or just gone into autumn hibernation. Which, to be honest, I feel like doing myself. I am currently just keeping myself going with the challenge of my flash fiction pieces.

Three notable things:

1. Arranging to meet up next week with a friend who I haven't seen for a few years. We both have lots to catch up on.

2. Buying a fab cardigan/jacket on eBay which will be perfect worn with black trousers and top for the meeting I have to attend tomorrow evening. It is current season Per Una, but come via the factory shop, therefore I paid only a little more than half the retail price. I can't see anything wrong with it, other than the labels cut out, as they do. A bargain.

3. Getting all my paperwork sorted for this meeting tomorrow, which is when I am resigning as treasurer of the voluntary group. Woo hoo!

Tuesday, November 06, 2007

And breathe...

On son 2's first day back at school after a holiday I always feel totally washed out. I have learnt to reserve that day for myself, to just allow a little me-time.

So, today was the day. I had a phone tutorial for one of my OU courses at 9.30am. That was not as arduous as it sounds, because the course has only just started so really it was just a quick chat, to find out if I had everything and how I was going to approach the course. No problems.

Later son 1 and I wandered up to the local shops to make a few purchases, collect his prescription and post a letter. After lunch I wrote another flash fiction piece for today's response at Your Messages and then soaked in a hot bath. I was much more relaxed by the time son 2 arrived home.

Three notable things:

1. Last night I finished knitting a scarf which is to be an Xmas present for a friend.

2. The cable TV has been off nearly all day but Virgin Media are aware of the problem. So that's all right then. No rush guys.

3. The Your Messages project is making me enjoy my writing again. I never expected to have written a piece every day so far, but I'm loving it!

Sunday, November 04, 2007

Thoughts on the novel

I've written two more pieces of flash fiction for the Messages blog this weekend, which you can read here and here.

I'm treating this as a freewriting exercise, a way of loosening up my writing. It seems to be working, as so far the prompts have given rise to 300 words of writing very easily. This made me think. Why am I finding this so much easier than many of the other writing exercises I have undertaken and why are these short pieces so much easier to write than my novel?

Firstly I suppose it is the quality of the prompts, which are themselves 300 words of prose by accomplished writers. It would be very hard not to get some sort of ideas from what you read. The quality and variety of the responses the blog is receiving is testament to that.

Secondly, I think my sparse writing style is actually more suited to short fiction. I like to play around with the words and structure, making every word count. I am not the sort of writer who produces pages of flowery prose. This leaves me with a dilemma. Should I really be writing a novel at all or should I stick to short stories? But as we all know, the market for short stories is very limited.

Or should I be structuring my novel differently, breaking it down into smaller passages of prose which I would feel more comfortable writing? As it is, in the first section of the novel, which does not have a linear timeline, the chapters are tending to be shorter than I expected. But I don't want to end up with a novel which is not considered to be commercial.

Decisions, decisions...

Three notable things:

1. I am looking forward to hopefully meeting up soon with some other writers I have only 'met' online.

2. I found a nice Gap fleece hoodie for son 2 for £1.99 in a charity shop yesterday.

3. Son 1 has been offered the chance to do some ad hoc work experience at a charity and is actually keen to do it.

Friday, November 02, 2007

Flash fiction


So, I really haven't done much this week. But I have managed to do two pieces of 300 word flash fiction for the Your Messages project blog, which you can read by scrolling down the comments on the blogs for 1st and 2nd November.

Three notable things:

1. It is the weekend tomorrow. Hooray!

2. A new Starbucks is to open in a nearby 'suburban village' area very soon. I think it might just be a perfect place to write when I need a change.

3. I'm just starting to read some of Angela Carter's short stories for the first time.

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Interlude


Hubby took the day off work and took over much of the childcare so I could go out. I went to the support group coffee morning to catch up with friends, followed by a dash around Tesco to stock up on enough to keep the kids fed until the weekend!

The postman brought a mixed bundle of goodies...some knitting wool and patterns from eBay and an invoice for my charity work which was in a burnt envelope. Presumably it was the victim of a postbox fire and it was amazing that it found its way to me, even if it was a little scorched!

Three notable things:

1. Some time ago I read about journalist Dina Rabinovitch's book Take Off Your Party Dress on Dovegreyreader's blog. Earlier this month I found a copy in a charity shop and bought it. I put it to one side, as it is about the author's experiences with breast cancer and since it is just three years, almost to the day, since I lost one of my best friends to the disease, the subject is still quite hard for me. Yesterday, on reading that Dina had died, I finally picked up the book. It is well worth a read, she was a brave lady.

2. There is a touching piece by Libby Purves in The Times today.It is about her son Nicholas Heiney, who committed suicide in his early twenties but left behind some remarkable writing, which is now to be published. Read this and contemplate the fate of sensitive young men in today's society. It rings all too many alarm bells for me.

3. But then in the main section of the paper I read this line in the contents column on page 2:
Libby Purves introduces the writings of her son, to be published soon, who committed suicide at 23
Is it just me, or is that very dodgy grammar and punctuation?

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Words in the chaos


Son 2 was noisy and active yesterday. But during a short period of relative calm, I actually managed to write a little more of the novel.

Only 300 words or so, but I was actually also researching at the same time. I am currently writing a scene set in Hong Kong before it was handed back to the Chinese. We did visit the colony many years ago, but some of my memories are hazy, so I keep having to stop to look up a name or some other detail. Did you know, for example, that you can create a Chinese name for a character through this name generator?

Three notable things:

1. Why was Dermot O'Leary so rude to Celine Dion on Saturday's X Factor?

2. Son 2 hates this advert so much that he turns off the TV every time it comes on...

3. The cold is making feel yucky today, so I'm not even going to try to write.

Monday, October 29, 2007

A room of my own



Once upon a time we had a spare bedroom. Well actually we still do, but over the last few years, while things have been so difficult at home, it has gradually turned into a tip. After all, nobody ever comes to stay with us nowadays. They don't when you live with autism.

Now, if I am honest, much of the stuff littering the spare bedroom belongs to me...ie boxes of craft materials, books and endless paperwork to be sorted. Then there are the plastic sacks of hand-me-down clothes both from son 1 and a friend's child, which need to be sorted to identify items for son 2 and the remainder sent off to the charity shop. There are a couple of pieces of unused and/or broken furniture which need to be found a more suitable home or sent to the tip. But in my recent state of mind all this has seemed a task too far. I have preferred to bury my head in the sand (or a book!)

Just two years ago this room also contained a small desk which I was able to use when working. Son 1 has now stolen that desk for his own bedroom and I am relegated to working and writing on the dining table or coffee table. I was recently talking to a counsellor and she suggested that I needed a haven I could escape to. Son 1 is at home most of the time and I no longer have that precious bit of space when both boys were at school. So why not tidy up the spare bedroom again?

It will be quite a big task and I can't even start until son 2 is back at school next week, but I am going to do it. I have been looking in the Argos catalogue for a compact desk and I want to get an ergonomic chair to help my bad back. I will also ensure that there is plenty of room on the floor for my yoga mat so that I can do stretches whenever I need to. I will be able to put on my own music without being interrupted by son 1 wanting to watch TV.

It sounds good. I want my writing room up and running by the New Year.

Three notable things:

1. I have now caught the cold virus from the boys...

2. Thank goodness for the CBeebies website. It keeps son 2 occupied for hours.

3. The National Autistic Society launches its new awareness campaign today. Why not take a look at Think Differently about Autism. It might surprise you.

Image by Free-StockPhotos.com

Friday, October 26, 2007

Music to match your mood

I like to listen to music while I am writing or studying. I always have done, ever since I was at school. Sometimes I make playlists from my music files, sometimes I listen to digital or online radio stations.

A while ago I followed a link from a blog and landed on the Musicovery website (sorry I can't remember for sure where I found the link, but I think it may have been Sarah Salway's blog?)

Anyway, I love this music site. You enter your mood on the track generator, tell it which genre(s) you want to listen to and sit back. The available tracks are very eclectic and I have found myself listening to all sorts of music with which I am unfamiliar. Great fun and free, unless you really want the superior sound quality version.

Three notable things:

1. Both boys have a virus.

2. I have been to Tesco. The fridge is full and we have enough food to keep two hungry teenage boys fed until, um, Monday?

3. It is too noisy and chaotic here at the moment to even consider writing. Roll on the end of half term. Only 10 days to go...

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Celebrities and autism

If you have been reading this blog for a while you may have realised that I am not too impressed with the current celebrity culture. There are just far too many magazines and TV programmes focussed on how celebrities live and how they look. It is all so shallow and really does not provide proper role models.

But there are some areas in which celebrities can perhaps make a diffference. They can use their high public profile to raise awareness of a cause or charity. For obvious reasons I am always interested when a celebrity 'comes out' as having a child with a disability or serious illness, because I think this can actually help public awareness of these conditions.

In the last week alone I have read of Colin Farrell's son having Angelman Syndrome and Emma Noble's son (the grandchild of former British Prime Minister Sir John Major), having autism. On the other side of the Atlantic singer Toni Braxton and model/actress Jenny McCarthy have gone public about their children with ASD.

Having a child with a disability is never easy, whoever you are. Far too many families are in denial or try to hide their problems and meeting other families in the same situation can be a turning point. Perhaps if they also see celebrities having to cope with the same issues, it will make them feel better.

But, and this is a big but, there can also be dangers in celebrity publicity. Jenny McCarthy has written a book about how she has helped 'heal' her son using dietary and alternative approaches. Now I personally know some children with autism for whom this sort of approach has helped, but I know even more for whom it has made no difference. I haven't read the book ( and don't intend to), so I can't comment on how McCarthy has approached the subject, however I do think that a celebrity endorsing any specific approach is fraught with potential danger, especially when wide publicity is also obtained for the book by appearing on Oprah.

The bottom line is, autism can't be 'cured'. I just hope that parents reading this book won't feel they have failed if the methods used by a celebrity don't work for their children. After all, many celebrities have far greater resources available in terms of time and money than the average family.

Three notable things:

1. Fancy an alternative to NaNoWriMo? Why not try this project from the writer Sarah Salway and her collaborator Lynne Rees. I would be seriously tempted if I had more time.

2. I have been stocking up on stationery for my writing and studying. I think I must be getting a bit OCD because everything to do with my novel...file, notebook etc...all has to be purple and is to be stored in my purple bag (Kipling of course...)!

3. So J. K. Rowling has outed Dumbledore as being gay. Doesn't she realise that 'gay' is currently one of the most widely used playground insults? I wonder how this news will sit with her young audience.

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Literature map


How do you choose your next book to read? Do you rely on personal recommendation from friends? Or take notice of reviews on a book blog such as dovegreyreader, which is my personal favourite. Do you browse on Amazon, looking for authors you are familiar with? Do you read the recommendations and comments there?

Or do you go into a bookshop, where you are perhaps more likely to be swayed by a cover design, or the blurb on the back cover?

For me there are certain authors whose books I would always buy, simply because I like their style and themes. But how do you start to find others who match up to them?

That is perhaps where Literature Map could come in handy. Put in the name of a favourite author and it will suggest authors whom other readers have also liked. I'm not quite sure how it works, though I think it is linked to Amazon.com so presumably based on their sales and browsing data somehow.

For example, I have just entered Maggie O'Farrell. The database has thrown up, amongst others, Jon McGregor, Anita Shreve, Jane Austen, Zadie Smith, Ian McEwan, Anne Tyler and Kate Atkinson, all of whom I also enjoy. If you enter an American author, say Anne Tyler, you get even more positive results...Carol Shields, Jodi Picoult, Margaret Atwood, Sue Miller, Fay Weldon, Alice Munro, Joyce Carol Oates, all of whom also represent the sort of fiction I read. So perhaps I should also start to explore some of the other suggestions...

This is a wonderful displacement activity and unlike books in a similar vein, should remain contemporary.

Three notable things:

1. After Anne Enright, another literary controversy....

2. Author Emma Darwin's new blog seems interesting.

3. It is half term this week, but as usual son 2 has a different holiday. His half term will start on Thursday and he has all of next week off too, but there won't be any playschemes, as everyone else will have gone back to school. One of the annoying idiosyncrasies of his being in an independent special school...

Monday, October 22, 2007

Both sides of the story

Two talented students of the Open University writing courses, Duncan Spencer and Andrea Smith have just set up a new website, Both Sides of the Story, to showcase their fiction writing.

Duncan and Andrea have been longtime collaborators, since meeting on one of the OU online courses, and challenge each other to write a story on a specific theme every other week. Their website shows the impressive results. It is well worth a look.

Three notable things:

1. 'Always the bridesmaid and never the bride' could have been the motto of British sport this weekend. But we should all be proud of the rugby team and of Lewis Hamilton.

2. DHL delivered my OU materials today for the Open to Change openings course. I hope it will be not only an easy 10 points towards a qualification, but also thought provoking, as I feel I need to make some changes in my life if I am going to make space and time for my writing and studying. What's more, the course materials came with their own little OU book bag. How cool!

3. Has Sharon Osbourne really left the X factor??

Friday, October 19, 2007

Where are my books?

DHL tried to deliver a package today while I was out at the supermarket. Unfortunately Son 1 didn't hear the doorbell (or perhaps it didn't even ring, it can be temperamental) but he did later find the card that was left in the porch.

This card is particularly uninformative. The delivery driver did not fill it in properly, so I had no idea whether the package had been left with a neighbour or taken away. The parcel number was not entered in the box, so when I rang DHL's automated line I couldn't enter the right information. The only thing I had was a long number by the words 'tour no:' and the reference code for the local depot. I tried entering this long number as the parcel number. The phone said it would transfer me to the depot but I held on for ages and no one answered.

I tried to think what I am expecting to receive and decided perhaps this was an Amazon delivery which I know to be en route. I wondered what to do next. I then got distracted by other things so did nothing more.

A little later I remembered that I was trying to locate the whereabouts of my goodies and tried the whole procedure with the automated line again. This time the phone was eventually answered by a human who took my address. I gave her the little info I had and as I read out the long number on the card it suddenly struck me that just maybe this was a mobile phone number. But hey, I was actually through to DHL, it was their problem now and the lady promised to look into it.

Later this afternoon I logged into my Open University homepage and clicked on materials despatch for my second new course. The books were on their way to me and there was a link to DHL to track the package. I followed it through and yes, that was the package they had tried to deliver. I clicked another link and sent a message.

Needless to say the lady never phoned back and so far I have had no response to the web message...

Three notable things:

1. Son 1 had his first minor brush with the law yesterday evening for a cycling offence...

2. A long evening in front of the TV beckons tomorrow. The X Factor followed by the rugby final!

3. I found my cheque book which I had mislaid!

Thursday, October 18, 2007

Controversy


So, they were all wrong. In the end Anne Enright won the Man Booker prize for The Gathering, which is, I understand, quite a dark and disturbing read.

Two days later, she is already embroiled in controversy over a piece published in the London Review of Books. It is about the McCann family, whose daughter Madeleine disappeared in Portugal in May.

Having just read the piece I feel uncomfortable. She is only expressing her opinions, but I think most of us have some sort of view on what happened that night. Surely though it is better to keep those thoughts to yourself rather than make them so pointed and public?

Three notable things:

1. I'm almost up and running on the OU Start Writing Plays course...

2. Went into town with son 1 this morning so he could spend some of his birthday money.

3.Very soon we are going to have some new neighbours across the road. Hope they will be nice.

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Now book fever

Or should that be Man Booker fever? As everyone waits for the result tonight, The BBC website has summaries of each of the shortlisted novels as well as an interesting article on the factors which can influence book sales.

Dovegreyreader is tipping 'Darkmans', as does Eve's Alexandria, while the bookies have two different frontrunners. For the record, I haven't read any of them, so I have no opinion at all!

Three notable things:

1. My course materials for the OU Start Writing Plays course arrived today!

2. I have just signed up for another short course, to run concurrently with it, called Open to Change. You can read what you like into that.

3. Ageism seems to be alive and well in British politics...

Monday, October 15, 2007

Rugby fever


A few weeks ago I wrote a fleeting mention of the Rugby World Cup into my novel. Not the tournament that is currently ongoing, but the one that England won, four years ago. It was an attempt to anchor the time frame of my novel, which spans many years, by referencing real life events.

On Saturday we sat in front of the TV and watched as England reached the final again, probably against most people's expectations. I have to admit that I don't know much about rugby, I am hazy on the scoring and rules, but it is quite fun to watch. We'll be cheering them on in the final too, especially as South Africa are a seriously good team.

This time I have an added interest because the captain of the England team, Phil Vickery (that's not Phil Vickery the cute chef who is married to Fern Britton, by the way!), grew up in the same part of the world as me and my mother knew one of his relatives. In fact he went to my old school. Just out of interest I googled him and found that he was BORN just two years before I left school.

How old did that make me feel?

Three notable things:

1. England's amazing progress in the rugby.

2. Whilst we are on the subject of rugby and schools, Hubby used to attend a school named after William Webb Ellis who invented the game and lends his name to the World Cup trophy.

3. Why do I seem to have done little except laundry today?

Sunday, October 14, 2007

Meant to be...


Some of you already know that I am signed up for the Open University level one 'Start Writing Plays' course which starts at the end of this month. I know nothing about writing scripts, but am doing this 12 week introduction as preparation for the level three Creative Writing course due to start next year and hopefully to hone skills that will transfer into my fiction writing.

Anyway, yesterday afternoon I was browsing around the charity shops in town as usual. I came up with a haul of goodies...two balls of pretty wool, a new novel by Susan Isaacs, an author I used to read years ago, and three videos for son 2. In the third and final shop I cast an eye over the shelves of books. This particular shop often has a classy selection, but charges more than the others... usually £2.50 for a paperback novel, which I will only pay for something special.

On the non-fiction shelves I spotted something exceptional. A row of five books on plays and scriptwriting, all in 'as new' condition. I could not believe my luck. I came away with three of them, Writing the Romantic Comedy by Billy Mernit, Writing Dialogue for Scripts by Rib Davis and Playwriting - A Practical Guide by Noel Greig. At £2 each.

I like to think those books were just waiting for me...

Three notable things:

1. My charity shop purchases.

2. Teaching son 1 how to use an ATM now he has his bank account.

3. Son 1's friends arriving uninvited on Friday evening to belatedly celebrate his birthday, bringing with them a great present (more weights for the home gym) and even a birthday cake made by one of their mums.

Friday, October 12, 2007

Loss of childhood

So our 7-11 year olds are stressed and depressed by having to live in a violent, materialistic and celebrity-obsessed society, where they don't even feel safe to walk the streets. Meanwhile, worried middle-class parents are adding to the pressure by pushing them to private tutors, in an attempt to get them into one of the few decent schools around or make up the learning deficits of the state system.

Well, what a surprise. They didn't need to do a big research project to learn that, they could just have spoken to me and my friends. We have watched all this happening before our eyes as our own children, now in their last year of compulsory schooling, have grown up.

It is scary. Whatever we do as parents does not seem to be sufficient to prepare our kids for what lies ahead.

Three notable things:

1. I've written about 800 words over the last two days as well as having some new plot ideas.

2. We sat waiting for son 1's therapist for almost half an hour this morning because the receptionist forgot to phone up and tell her we'd arrived...

3. My copy of Mslexia finally arrived in the mail...

Thursday, October 11, 2007

Nobel Prize for Literature


Stop press. It has just been announced that this year's Nobel Prize for Literature has been awarded to Doris Lessing.

I have to admit that I don't think I have read much by her. A few short stories, I believe, and I definitely read The Good Terrorist, though I don't remember much about it.

My clearest memory of Doris Lessing's work was an attempt to read The Golden Notebook in my early twenties. I soon gave up. But I am older now, if not wiser, and with my new-found interest in mental health issues, I recently thought I should give it another try. It is sitting in my hefty to-be-read pile. Perhaps today's news will propel it closer to the top.

Three notable things:

1. I woke up at 4am today and couldn't get back to sleep. I ended up watching a Panorama documentary about the sub-prime mortgage market. Even that didn't send me back to sleep!

2. I'm having a quiet day and actually going to spend a few hours writing this afternoon, I hope.

3. Cally has just posted something fascinating on her blog. Go and take a look here.

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Talking therapies

You may remember that I am quite a fan of talking therapies.

So I was very heartened to read today that the government is going to make more money available to fund such therapy. Some people will still need medication and indeed it is often prescribed alongside the therapy. But I'm sure it will help many people to keep off drugs, which are currrently widely prescribed by GPs because they have few other options for people who do not have acute mental health problems. Only this morning a friend was telling me about someone who would not be considered an emergency case but would clearly benefit from some counselling or CBT. She was asking what the options were for finding help for this young adult.

Let's hope this promise is kept, because it can only be a Good Thing for 900,000 people.

Three notable things:

1. The post arrived today ( afer the Royal Mail strike)!

2. The post included a copy of Miranda July's short story collection No One Belongs Here More Than You which recently won the Frank O'Connor prize for short fiction, when one of my favourite short story writers, Alice Munro, didn't even get on the shortlist.

3. Both boys have a nasty cold. I am hoping not to catch it!

Tuesday, October 09, 2007

What drives you to write?

The Times Cheltenham Literature Festival is, not unsurprisingly, featuring heavily in The Times newspaper this week.

After this article on plotting by crime writer Andrew Taylor, todays edition features various authors talking about what drives them to write.

Keep an eye on the website for more articles and podcasts.

Three notable things:

1. A lovely two hour coffee break in Starbucks today with a friend who also has an autistic teenage son.

2. Sorting out some personal financial planning at the bank before the coffee break.

3. Buying myself a pretty cardigan on a very rainy day!

Monday, October 08, 2007

Another birthday

Hot on the heels of the blog birthday on Saturday comes son 1's birthday today. My baby is 16. Which makes certain things legal...but I'd prefer not to think about that!

He couldn't make up his mind what he wanted for his main present, so we gave him money and today he and I went to the bank to open his first current account, with a standing order from my account to his for his allowance each week. We are trying to teach him some financial responsibility in the hope that he actually will be ready to fly the nest one day...

Three notable things:

1. Son 1's birthday. It has made me feel very old.

2. Thinking about the dedicated neo-natal unit staff who saved his life 16 years ago. My poem about the experience is here.

3. The M&S chocolate Doctor Who Dalek cake we will all be eating this evening to celebrate.

Friday, October 05, 2007

One year ago...

...or rather one year ago tomorrow, I started this blog.

It was actually my second attempt at blogging following a rather half-hearted effort during my OU A215 course, which ground to a halt when we hit a family crisis.

When I started I wasn't entirely sure what I wanted this blog to be. A record of my writing progress certainly, but also a place to talk about other things which catch my eye or affect my life, both good and bad. After all, there is more to a writer than just writing. It is not a showcase for my more polished writing, some of which can be found elsewhere, but a space for spontaneous communication.

I didn't know what to expect from the blog. At first I wondered if anyone would ever read it, but somehow I have found an audience. Along the way the way I have 'met' some lovely people and have had visits from readers all over the world. I'm loving it all, even if blogging is time-consuming and a major distraction from my novel writing!

I'm looking forward to the second year...

Three notable things:

1. The blog birthday tomorrow.

2. All the wonderful blogs I have discovered through having my own. Each and every one in my blogroll and listed at Novel Racers is well worth a visit!

3. After a lot of thought I would like to pass on the Rockin' Blogger award to Lane, Viki and Jen. It was so hard to choose because all the blogs I read deserve it...

Wednesday, October 03, 2007

Another award

Just popping in quickly to say a huge thank you to Crystal Jigsaw for my latest award...Rockin' Blogger. I've spread my awards out in the sidebar now, just for variety...I like to play around with the layout of my blog.

I'm going to have a think about who to pass the Rockin' Blogger award on to. Watch this space!

Tuesday, October 02, 2007

Control freakery

When you live in the same house as someone who is on the autistic spectrum, you get used to living with a control freak. Everything has to be just so. Things must always be put away in the same place. Routines have to be followed for even the most basic tasks. Deviations can cause severe anxiety.

Son 2 is actually becoming more flexible as he gets older, but we are careful always to warn him in advance of changes. We have become so used to living in this way that it has become the norm.

So I was interested to do this little quiz...and relieved by the result! Why don't you have a go ?

You Are 24% Control Freak

You have achieved the perfect balance of control and letting go.
You tend to roll with whatever life brings, but you never get complacent.


Three notable things:

1. The bit about not getting complacent in life is so true. I've found in the past that if I do, everything rapidly goes pear-shaped!

2. It has not been raining quite so much today, but I'm not going to get complacent...

3. I've managed to get quite a lot of voluntary work done today, which is a weight off my mind.

Monday, October 01, 2007

Writing books and Stephen Fry


ChrisH picked an interesting topic for last Friday's coffee morning at the Novel Racers blog. What books, courses or other tools have we all found useful? Needless to say, the replies sent me off in search of my credit card and I have ordered a couple of tomes which several people had found useful. There is nothing like personal recommendation and I must admit I wasn't aware of some of the books before.

Novel Racers is, of course, a group of people writing novels. But I do like to dabble in short stories and poetry as well and on Saturday I found a cheap copy of the inimitable Stephen Fry's book 'The Ode Less Travelled' which is finally out in paperback. This was highly recommended by fellow students on the OU A215 course last year, so I am looking forward to dipping into it, especially after watching an evening of Stephen Fry TV programmes on Saturday.

On his way to work a few weeks ago, Hubby also spotted a casually dressed Stephen Fry out walking early in the morning. But as I am not writing for Heat magazine and I really don't want to be sued, I shall not say where...

(With apologies to Lane, who has also written about Stephen Fry today. That is what happens when someone famous has just celebrated a birthday! Can he really only be 50?)

Three notable things:

1. I had an appointment at the bank this morning but they had to cancel because the computer was down. Hooray!

2. As the appointment was cancelled I didn't have to go out in the rain at all.

3. I've just seen a TV ad for Galaxy. I NEED some chocolate. Now.

Friday, September 28, 2007

Autism blogs

Autism plays a large part in our lives, yet I have never wanted this blog to be mainly about it. Of course the subject does come up from time, but as you know I do guard my children's privacy in many respects and I want my readers to see that there is more to my existence than son 2's autism. Son 2 is a happy, healthy, much-loved boy who lives life to the full on his own terms. End of story.

In any case, there are many bloggers out there who write about life with autism far more eloquently than me. I recently discovered Mother of Shrek, a blog in which Casdok writes honestly and movingly about her autistic son. If you have any interest in autism then do take a look, this has quickly become one of my daily must-reads.

The novel I am writing will also have autism as one of its central themes. Definitely a case of writing about what you know, though I have to say that it is fictional, NOT my personal story! There is a sneak peek here and I have even written a little more today, until I became bogged down in one chapter...

Three notable things:

1. Ripe apples are falling from the tree in our garden.

2. I managed to write another couple of hundred words. My motivation is increasing, even though the creativity was somewhat lacking today.

3. I put the central heating on this afternoon, as son 1 and I both felt cold. I never put it on in September!

Thursday, September 27, 2007

Life changing decisions

OK, the title is a bit over-dramatic. But there has been a lot of soul-searching amongst some members of the Novel Racers group recently. Including me.

So, in the last three days I have made some decisions to try to simplify my life. On Tuesday, at the committee meeting, I told my colleagues that I intend to stand down as treasurer of the voluntary group in November. I am happy to stay involved, but I want the time I give to be on my own terms, rather than dictated by others which it has been in recent years. After all, it is unpaid voluntary work, it shouldn't require so much input.

Today I have just cancelled my gym membership. Not because I don't like going, but my gym is a 15-20 minute drive from home and a visit there for a yoga class or swim, plus a coffee and a browse around the adjoining shops easily takes the best part of half a day. For cost reasons I only had off-peak membership, but couldn't get there at all in school holidays. Even going twice a week in term-time, the fee was barely cost effective and right now I don't think I have time to go that often. I need to be around to taxi son 1 to appointments and of course, Iwant to study and write. I'm not Superwoman.

So, I've freed up more time to write. I won't give up yoga entirely, as it does help my bad back. I will try to do it seriously at home and later perhaps look around for a suitable more local class. I've been doing it long enough to practice safely at home, I think. In the eighteen months since son 1 became very ill, I have got out of the habit of doing organised exercise anyway. I can walk. I can use our new crosstrainer if I feel like it. I might even join the low-key exercise club my friend attends, which is just down the road. Life moves on.

Anyway, if you will excuse me, I am off to Amazon to order some yoga DVDs...

Three notable things:

1. Making pressure-reducing decisions to allow myself more time to write and study.

2. Reading almost half of 'The End of the Affair' while son 1 was in an appointment this morning.

3. Feeling very sad watching the current events in Burma, yet so glad that the internet is enabling the world to see the sort of atrocities which are perpetrated to suppress free speech there.

Image by Free-StockPhotos.com

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

The gossip

Both Crystal Jigsaw and Jan have asked what my friend and I gossiped about yesterday. You may not be surprised to hear that it was mostly about our kids. We barely touched on her recent exotic holiday or other aspects of our lives.

In fact much of it was not so much gossiping as bitching. About school. The school which let son 1 down so badly and is failing her son too. About how the climate of bullying starts right at the very top there. About the need to make formal complaints.

She also talked about the girls. Girls we have known since the beginning of primary school yet now, at 15, can barely recognise. She told me how her underage son comes home and tells her how sexually available they make themselves to the boys. Son 1 is still at the stage of prefering to mix with other boys, having adventures on bikes rather than hanging around in town. He finds the 'gobby' girls scary and to be honest, so do I sometimes, though in a different way.

I hadn't intended to blog about this. However, not only was I asked, but on opening the paper today I found this article, which I think says a lot about what it is to be a teenage girl today.

I'm just so glad I don't have girls to worry about.

Three notable things:

1. I had my eyes tested today and ordered some new glasses. I fear I may have made an expensive mistake. Ho hum.

2. I'm going out tonight, though it is only a boring committee meeting, with nothing stronger than coffee to drink as we will all be driving.

3. I'm enjoying having no work or study to do for a few weeks.

Monday, September 24, 2007

Stormy weather

I woke up this morning to the sound of the wind howling outside and the sight of our mutant giant pear tree swaying alarmingly in the onslaught. It was not long before the rain started, so I searched for son 2's waterproof jacket and put it by the door. He moved it and put his cotton summer jacket there. We were still arguing the toss when the school bus arrived, but in the end I let him have his own way, as the TV weather forecast had seemed much better for later in the day and so it has been. Some battles are just not worth fighting.

I haven't written any more over the weekend , although I have been doing some thinking and planning of possible scenes. Today I had to go to the dentist this morning and although I had every intention of writing after lunch, in the end the lure of coffee and gossip at a friend's house was just too much.

Three notable things:

1. No fillings needed at the dentist!

2. Son 2 got kicked when he managed to get himself in the way of a playground fight today. His teacher thought he might have a nasty bruise by the time he got home, but I can't see one. He's probably been lucky.

3. Hearing some interesting gossip this afternoon.

Friday, September 21, 2007

Back on track

Thank you to everyone who left messages of encouragement on my last post. They spurred me on to write again. Only 500 words or so, but it is a start.

The other good news is that I finished my accountancy work this afternoon. So from now on I will have more time to devote to the novel and I will do my best to work on it every day. I seem to have got some motivation back, thanks to my lovely blog readers and the Novel Racers. Long may it continue.

Three notable things:

1. Hubby returned from Brussels with a box of ridiculously expensive but totally delicious Belgian chocolates.No Kipling bag though!

2. I am really please about how well my work assignment went...finished on time, with no major stress or panics. Just how work should be.

3. The scarf I am knitting is almost half complete. I will be starting the second ball of yarn soon.

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Novel introspection

Although I haven't updated my wordcounter, I did write a little more of my novel last weekend. The problem was that I also chopped out some of what I'd previously written, so there was probably no net gain.

I was thinking about my lack of progress. Part of it has been not having time this year and also not being mentally in a very good place, a situation which hopefully should start to improve as of next week. I have no choice but to write during the day, when son 2 is at school, but of course I also have other things to do in those few short hours.

But I think my way of writing is also impeding me. I started this novel soon after completing a creative writing course where I was working on short pieces. The sort of writing where every word matters. I have found it difficult to change my way of working to just plough ahead with a 'shitty first draft' and keep going back and editing my first three chapters. Its not as if I don't know where the story is going...the plot outline is very clear in my mind, although there will be many dots to join on the way.

Does anyone have tips as to how I can get myself to look at the bigger picture and actually make faster progress?

Three notable things:

1. I managed to escape into town this morning to buy the new speakers for son 2's computer and some more paper for the printer. Yet another new coffee shop has just opened!

2. Son 1 has been invited out for a sleepover on Friday. I hope he won't get too anxious or forget to take his meds.

3. Work went surprisingly well again today...just two more days work to do on these accounts ( and possibly part of the weekend if needed.)

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

A bit of fun

I've been far too serious on here recently. That's what happens when you don't get out enough...

So, for today, here is a little distraction. I expect you have all seen this little quiz elsewhere in the blogosphere, but I was very happy with my result, as I loved the Anne of Green Gables books. What do you think?




You're Anne of Green Gables!

by L.M. Montgomery

Bright, chipper, vivid, but with the emotional fortitude of cottage
cheese, you make quite an impression on everyone you meet. You're impulsive, rash,
honest, and probably don't have a great relationship with your parents. People hurt
your feelings constantly, but your brazen honestly doesn't exactly treat others with
kid gloves. Ultimately, though, you win the hearts and minds of everyone that matters.
You spell your name with an E and you want everyone to know about it.



Take the Book Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid.


If you haven't already done so, why not have a go?


Three notable things:

1. We don't have any savings in Northern Rock!

2. Son 2 has just broken the speakers on his computer. A shopping trip is needed tomorrow!

3. Work is going surprisingly well. How can that be?

Monday, September 17, 2007

Mind, body, spirit

I really do believe that mental and physical health are much more closely interlinked than was once recognised. We have seen undisputed evidence of that here in our own family.

So I was interested in this article about cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) and how it is now proven to benefit some physical conditions as well as psychological ones. Son 1 has been receiving CBT for some time now and it is certainly working for him, improving both mental and socially crippling physical symptoms.

So I was a little surprised to read that some sufferers of ME/CFS do not accept that CBT might be helpful. To be honest I don't know enough about ME/CFS to have an educated opinion myself, and I would certainly not want to offend anyone who has the condition, but I do believe it is a very real illness and would therefore have thought that CBT might be worth a try. After all it is unlikely to do any harm and it does apparently help some sufferers. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy for Dummies provides a very accessible introduction to the subject.

The OU course I have just finished was all about taking a holistic approach to health...in that case concentrating on mental health but the principles apply equally to physical symptoms. The holistic model recognises that people have many needs, including physical, social and spiritual, all of which should be taken into consideration in a perfect care or treatment plan. Idealistic? Maybe. But surely the way to go if at all possible.

Three notable things:

1. Thanks to Trashionista, I found this interesting feature on writer's rooms at the Guardian website.

2. I am just about to start reading Graham Greene's 'The End of the Affair' as suggested by Susan Hill. I have a feeling I may have read it many years ago, but can't remember anything about it...

3. No word from Hubby in Brussels so I guess he and his friend are already stuck into the beers... I did suggest he brought me back a Kipling handbag, but just got told that I already have far too many bags. It's true. Let's hope he brings some chocolates instead!

Sunday, September 16, 2007

Life plans

I must be getting old and cynical. I was reading an article in today's You magazine about how young women probably spend too much time creating life plans and not enough enjoying living, and I found myself nodding in agreement.

I don't think I really believe in life plans anymore. When I was a teenager I thought I had my life all mapped out...A Levels, university, a high-flying career. I wasn't even going to think about settling down or getting married until I was at least 30. I didn't want kids.

So what happened? I met someone at 19 who I thought was 'the One'. I suddenly realised that I really did want a baby, with him. It was a biological revelation. But first we had university to finish and sadly our relationship didn't survive an enforced separation. I went on to train for the career. Before I was even fully qualified I had met the man I would marry. In my twenties. A period of ill health and job changes meant that plans for babies had to be postponed for a while, but I fell pregnant in my very early thirties. I never went back to the lucrative career.

We are not leading the lifestyle now which we had originally envisioned. There is, for example, no holiday home abroad. Both our children have additional needs. But we get on with making the best out of life as it is rather than dwelling on what might have been or trying to look too far into the future. Trying to plan too much can turn people into control freaks and of course control freaks don't tend to cope well when life throws a curve ball.

Which, as we know here, it so often does.

Three notable things:

1. Hubby is, hopefully, en route to Brussels for a short break. That is, if his mate turned up at the station in time for them to get on Eurostar!

2. I've just been looking back at the opening chapters of my novel and there is not as much revision to do as I thought. Can't wait to get going with writing new chapters.

3. I am knitting another scarf, using silk and cashmere yarn in spicy shades of yellow, orange, coral, purple and beige. I think this one will be a present for a friend.

Friday, September 14, 2007

Good buys

A parcel arrived this afternoon containing this and these ( bought by redeeming my Book People points). What a treat!

A fragmented day today, with food shopping and a few other minor chores to be done, as well as work. I am so looking forward to finishing this figure work and getting my head back to the world of writing. With things gradually improving at home I am feeling that the fog, which has stopped me being able to concentrate, is finally lifting from my brain.

Three notable things:

1. My book parcel.

2. Son 1 doing some computer back-ups for me...I am so bad about doing that, except for important writing!

3. Watching the moving eulogy by the husband of Jane Tomlinson on the TV news report of her funeral. A truly inspiring woman.

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Results day

My Open University K272 course results were published today. I had actually forgotten they were due by tomorrow!

I scraped a Pass 2 ( sort of 2:1 equivalent) which I am pleased with. Not my best result ever, but to be honest I did well to finish the course at all. It was interesting, yet also quite complex to understand what was wanted when writing the essays, as I suppose it was all quite theoretical and subjective.

Anyway now I can get back to some writing, or at least I can in two weeks time when I have finished my accountancy work...

Three notable things:

1. My exam result.

2. Feeling very proud of son 1, who found the courage to go into his old school yesterday and tell the head of year what he had experienced there, in the hope that she can protect one of his friends from bullying.

3. Yet another visit to the dental hygienist, who said my gums were healthier than last time and asked me what I had done differently. All I could think of was that the battery has run out in my toothbrush...

Monday, September 10, 2007

Journalism and news

I am something of a news and information junkie. If there is nothing much on television I will normally tune into a news or documentary channel rather entertainment.I used to watch Sky News, because I thought they were quicker with breaking news than BBC News 24. But, since we get our digital TV from Virgin Media, we no longer have Sky News due to the dispute. Still, the BBC does not usually disappoint.

Recently there was an incident which affected someone of whom I knew. It was a matter of public interest and was picked up by the BBC, on the News 24 channel at least. The next day I scoured several quality newspapers for updates and found no mention of the story. This may, of course, have been for legal reasons. Which started me thinking about the implications of journalism, about what can and what should be printed or reported. For someone who can write, journalism of any kind might seem like an easy option, but there is so much more to it, so many legal and libel implications. Not just in respect of news, but in any piece where you are giving information and indeed any facts, which should be scrupulously checked for accuracy.

The recent media circus around the family of Madeleine McCann has reinforced my worries. Of course her parents courted the media in the early days and so cannot really complain now that they are becoming targets of the press. But, without making any presumptions of innocence or guilt, it reminds me uncomfortably of a book I read many years ago for my degree: The Lost Honour of Katerina Blum by Heinrich Boll. (For those who know German, Boll should have an Umlaut, but I don't think I can type that and somehow Boell doesn't look right at all!)

You probably won't have read the book or seen the film based upon it, which actually came out in 1975. But in the current political climate post 9/11, the underlying themes of the press destroying the life of a potentially innocent person, who has briefly associated with a criminal/terrorist, seem just as relevant today as they did then.

Three notable things:

1. I reached my work target for the day.

2. I sat though a meeting this morning and realised the chairperson had taken on board the contents of an email I sent last week, even though I had received no reply.

3. I completed the first exercise for Susan Hill's course.

Sunday, September 09, 2007

Susan Hill's writing course...

...has started!

An interesting first exercise looking at opening sentences will keep me busy this afternoon. Luckily, due to my shopaholic tendencies and serious charity shop habit, I have plenty of books in the house to peruse.

I am really looking forward to following this no pressure course, because I find I learn something new from every book on writing I read or course I take. Yet I also like the idea that Susan Hill is going to encourage her students to break the 'rules', because I, too, don't believe that writing is all about rules as such. What is taught on creative writing courses should be just guidance, not a recipe for creating books 'by numbers'.

For me, probably the best part about taking the Open University writing courses has been the interaction with other students and being able to receive constructive criticism. Of course you don't actually have to take a formal course to get that...just find a writer's group you feel comfortable with, whether in person or online, but above all find a group of people who will look at your work objectively and not just tell you what you want to hear. In some ways a formal course does add some objectivity and academic rigour to a process which is in so many ways subjective. But learning from longstanding, very successful authors must be one of the best ways to learn.

Three notable things:

1. Son 1 and I have just made a pact for the sake of his health. He will give up fizzy drinks if I give up chocolate. How am I going to survive?

2. I didn't get as much work done as I had hoped on Friday, but I'm not in a panic. Not yet, anyway.

3. I am becoming a BBC News 24 whore. More about that later.

Thursday, September 06, 2007

Dietary interventions

Modified diets have been an important and often controversial topic of conversation amongst parents of children with autism or ADHD for a long time. Now a study has actually come out and said what parents have known for a long time, namely that children's behaviour is affected by food additives in drinks and confectionary.

Of course it is not just additives that can alter behaviour. Some people are affected by gluten in wheat products and casein in milk products. Then of course there is also the caffeine in cola. Son 1's anxiety is noticably increased if he drinks Pepsi or Coke, both of which he loves and is finding hard to give up ( caffeine-free Coke apparently not being the same!)

Special diets don't work for all children. We tried a gluten-free/casein-free diet on son 2 and it had no effect. We eventually gave up because it was also hard to stick to it rigidly without putting the whole family on the diet, which would have been unfair to son 1. But I do personally know autistic children who have benefitted significantly from such a diet, so it must always be worth a try, as are fish oil and multi-vitamin supplements to remedy any potential deficits.

In any case reducing or cutting out the additives in children's diets is just common sense and can only benefit all.

Three notable things:

1. The woodpecker was on our fruit trees again today.

2. I hope he survived the attentions of two beautiful cats, one black and one ginger, who have strolled across our grass at different times today. We don't get that many cats coming through and these two were both gorgeous.

3. More work got done. More stress means less success but I feel quite relaxed about it at the moment.

Wednesday, September 05, 2007

Sense of style

I've always envied women who are effortlessly stylish. For some it seems to come so naturally, but I am definitely not one of them.

I think my personal sense of style has always been a little boyish. We were brought up by a religious mother with a total disinterest in fashion and beauty, and as a result both my sister and I tend towards the practical rather than the pretty.

As a student I started to develop a little of my own style, using quirky accessories which stood out, but also experimenting with items of sexier clothing which horrified my mother. However, on entering a staid profession my workwear had to be business (skirt) suits, and as a woman fighting to progress in what was essentially a man's world, I made little concession to feminine fripperies other than make-up and a little jewellery.

I'll gloss over my early years as a parent, when I wore leggings (first time round) for far longer than I should have, simply because they were easy care and easy wear. I was overwhelmed by parenthood and we were short of money, well that is my excuse anyway. I prefered to concentrate my efforts on nice clothes for my babies.

Finally, with both boys in school, I started to develop what I think is my real style. I abandoned utilitarian plain cotton t-shirts for pretty patterned tops, which can be worn with jeans by day or tailored trousers for smarter occasions. I accepted the fact that I am never going to be a skirt person, but developed once again a love for unusual accessories. I learnt to spend more on classic items and less on what might be termed fashion. I even found a brand of jeans which generally fits me quite well, not easy when you are short but also a larger lady. I'm still not a girly dresser, but I hope I have finally found something of a balance between practicality, comfort and femininity. I have come to terms with my size and learnt to work with it, rather than against it for the sake of fashion.

At last I actually like my style and for now I am sticking with it.

Three notable things:

1. Son 1 is singing and whistling around the house for the first time in a couple of years.

2. I managed to do a Tesco shop and some successful work today.

3. Tesco is currently selling chart paperbacks at two for £7. I must resist!

Tuesday, September 04, 2007

Labelling women's fiction


Yes, I know we have had this debate before.

In the early days of this blog I wrote a post about how I didn't read chick lit, or rather I thought I didn't, but then I realised that in fact a number of books I had enjoyed were actually packaged as chick lit. My post provoked a flurry of comments ( very exciting when you are a new blogger!) and aroused some strong feelings.

I still have trouble with the term chick lit. For a start I am not a chick, I am far too old! Even when I was young enough, I think I would have felt insulted if anyone called me a chick...somehow it seems to demean the depth of women's experiences in their twenties and thirties. But I do know that chick lit provokes a lot of controversy, both pro and con. In order to learn more about the chick lit phenomenon, I have become a regular reader of Trashionista, which reviews chick lit and related matters from both sides of the Atlantic. I have to admit it has led me to some interesting books, especially through their non-chick lit More on Monday slot.

Anyway, I recently read an interesting debate on a forum about the labelling of fiction and thanks to Carenza, I found this piece by Dorothy Koomson. To be honest I have never read any of Dorothy's books, but I will now look out for them as the latest two, certainly, sound like novels I might enjoy. But it is interesting that she doesn't want her work to be labelled as chick lit and indeed the covers appear to indicate that they are perhaps aimed more towards readers of Jodi Picoult than of, say, Sophie Kinsella. That interests me because I think Picoult market will also be the one to which my own fledgling novel is likely to appeal.

I like Dorothy's input into the labelling debate, even though I am not sure whether heart lit is actually that much better as a term than chick lit! Why can't publishers just call such books something like contemporary women's fiction and use covers which appeal to women of all ages? I suspect a number of decent books may have been done a disservice by pastel-coloured, cartoon bedecked covers and a whole audience for other women's fiction lost because they only look for chick lit style covers.

So when some people in the trade are quoted as saying chick lit is dead, I don't think it necessarily means that the genre itself is dead, but that it perhaps needs to be repackaged to appeal to a wider audience who may have been put off by the name and the covers.

Three notable things:

1. School started back today. The house has been blissfully quiet.

2. I have finished my scarf. Just need to sew the ends in now. I am pleased with it...I know there is at least one 'deliberate' mistake in the pattern, but hey, nothing handmade is perfect!

3. I managed to get some work done, despite being called out to taxi son 1 to and from an appointment... 'It's too hot to cycle, Mum!'

Monday, September 03, 2007

Welcome, September!

I was glad to see the end of August. It had been a strange month, not just because my usual routines were disrupted by the school holidays, but also because it was a month of extreme highs and lows.

On the home front things have generally been pretty good over the summer. But I have learnt over the years never to become complacent when things seem to be going well. True to form, more than once during the month I received bad news which, although not affecting me directly, was enough to make me stop in my tracks and re-evaluate the possible future.

On Saturday afternoon I wandered around town in need of something to cheer me up. Browsing in Waterstone's, I spotted new paperbacks by two of my favourite authors on the 'three for two' offer tables. Having picked up Moral Disorder by Margaret Atwood and The View from Castle Rock by Alice Munro, I needed to choose a third book. I was drawn to Over by Margaret Forster but in the end plumped for The Story of You by Julie Myerson. I paid by cash, so Hubby won't see them on the credit card, and sneaked them into the house later, hidden in a large bag of clothes bought for son 1.

Another guilty secret, yet a healthier treat than a family-sized bar of chocolate and they succeeded in lifting what had been a despondent mood!

Three notable things:

1. Son 1 has been on a high and achieved a lot over the last week.

2. Last day of the school holiday today!

3. Being contacted via Facebook by someone I hadn't 'spoken' to for ages and finding we actually have a local friend in common and I never knew!

Friday, August 31, 2007

Arthur Miller's son

I suppose I am starting to get my brain into drama mode in preparation for my Open University Start Writing Plays course which begins in October. Anyway I was fascinated to read this piece about Arthur Miller in The Times.

I vaguely remember reading somewhere before, probably in an obituary, that Miller had a son with Down's Syndrome. I hadn't, however, realised the whole sad story. Although it was much more common to institutionalise disabled children back in the 1960's and earlier, Miller's disownment of his son and treatment of his wife, who wanted to keep the child at home, do seem rather callous.

His reasoning was that he didn't want his daughter, Rebecca, to grow up with a 'mongoloid' brother. Actually, being a sibling of a disabled child need not be all bad. Sure, some siblings have issues, as do any children. In my experience, however, many siblings grow up to be more mature and empathetic than average and a surprising number of them actually go on to work in caring professions.

But serious sibling issues are also going to be raised in Coming Down the Mountain, a new drama by Mark Haddon , which is due to air on Sunday on BBC1. Although I loved Haddon's novel, The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time, I don't think I will watch the film, it just might be too close to home for comfort right now.

It is good to read that in fact it was the husband of Rebecca Miller, Daniel Day-Lewis, who may well have been instrumental in Miller's acceptance of his disabled son at the end of his life and that the son in question, also called Daniel, appears to have grown up to have some success and independence in adulthood. One just wonders what he might have achieved with the support of a loving family in his early years.

Three notable things:

1. The scarf I am knitting is growing and growing...

2. Spotting a solitary and rather over-fed magpie sitting on the garden fence and not forgetting to say 'hello Mr Magpie'!

3. A neighbour doing some gardening for us in return for the pristine bike we gave his son whilst clearing out our garage.

Thursday, August 30, 2007

Parenting matters

I was flicking through our newspaper yesterday when my eye was caught by this interview with Dr Tanya Byron, about why she no longer wants to make TV programmes about parenting.

I have to admit that I have enjoyed watching some of her programmes such as House of Tiny Tearaways, as she has always struck me as a professional with a lot of common sense and empathy. But at the same time I can see the point that some parenting programmes can become rather voyeuristic, in the same manner as shows like those of Jeremy Kyle or Jerry Springer.

Of course there have always been childcare gurus...my mother was led by Dr Benjamin Spock, I had books by Penelope Leach and Dr Miriam Stoppard. But the amount of parenting advice that is out there now seems excessive. I'm sure there are far more parenting magazines than there were ten years ago and when you add in TV programmes is it any wonder that parents get confused?

Personally, I believe that successful parenting comes from a mix of common sense and listening to your own instincts. There can be no overall rules, because every child is different and every family has different dynamics. You just have to work out what suits your own circumstances.

Of course I am not a perfect parent myself, but at least I think we can honestly say we have found our own way to raise our children, influenced perhaps by our own upbringings. We try to set a good example in the way that we ourselves behave and the bottom line is that we put the children's needs first.

As simple as that.

Three notable things:

1. Son 1 has spent the whole day out with friends.

2. Son 2 enjoyed his last day at playscheme for this holiday.

3. I did some work today ( just not the bits I was supposed to be doing...)

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

The path to self-destruction

Drink, drugs, self-harm, domestic violence, there seems to be little that Amy Winehouse is not allegedly involved in. The recent pictures of Amy and her new husband Blake Fielder-Civil, both bloodied and bruised, were shocking yet perhaps not surprising, as her recent performances have been erratic and unreliable...I commented on that at the beginning of the year.

Such a waste of talent. I liked Amy's first album, Frank, but I absolutely adored the latest, Back to Black, which has made her name on both sides of the Atlantic. The girl has the world at her feet if she could just accept help, soon.

Amy's parents-in-law and her father have spoken on the radio this week of the plight of Amy and Blake (click on the links for the transcripts) and there seems to be conflict as to what should be done.

But the truth of the matter is this; Amy and Blake are adults. They have the right to turn down treatment and help, even if doing so ultimately leads to tragedy. Actually even teenagers who are not legally adults cannot be forced to accept treatment they don't want and there is nothing a parent can do about it. The NHS has the right to withdraw services if they are not being accessed consistently. An adult has the right to refuse or to walk out of rehab, and all too many do.

Drink and drugs destroy too many lives, but none of this is new, as Pete Doherty's parents would no doubt tell Amy's. Sometimes all you can do is to sadly stand back and watch them self-destruct.

Three notable things:

1. The crosstrainer arrived at 8am and son 1 has assembled it.

2. I didn't damage the car I nudged into when reversing out of a parking space yesterday...

3. ...and I started to tackle the ironing mountain when I got home!

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

My bank holiday weekend

While everyone else was out enjoying themselves in the sun, I was working on Sunday and Monday. You know, the sort of work you do to pay the bills.

Most of you are probably not aware that I am a qualified accountant. I haven't worked in an accountancy practice for almost 16 years and frankly I have no intention of ever returning, but I do keep my hand in a little by preparing the accounts for my husband's business. He pays me for my work, it is all legitimate and the work is done from home. This means I can work my hours very flexibly around the needs of the boys.

Every year the company's books are audited in September and every year I end up in a mad panic at the end of the summer, working over the bank holiday, tearing my hair out as to whether I can meet the deadline.

Why do I put myself through it? I know when things have to be completed yet somehow there is so often something more important to do. Such as Open University study, unpaid voluntary work or just surfing the internet. All those things which don't pay. Even when I try to clear whole days for work something goes wrong...an unexpected appointment to attend or Hubby forgets to bring the right paperwork home the night before. He works in Central London so I can't easily just rush round to get what I need.

Anyway for the next three weeks or so I will be tapping away on my calculator ( or at least I will when son 2 goes back to school next week.) I will be swearing when the figures don't balance and I may not get on here quite as regularly as usual.

Just doing the accounts will remind me that the part of accountancy I actually enjoyed was getting out and meeting people as an auditor. It was never the figures. It will also reinforce my gut feeling that I am temperamentally much more suited to writing, even if I never make a penny from it.

Three notable things:

1. Finally getting some figures to balance yesterday after spending days thinking perhaps I was going mad.

2. Not having to work today because I spent most of the day being Mum's Taxi service.

3. Persuading Son 1 to go to his therapy today when he didn't really want to, but then his therapist being really pleased with the work they did.