I don't. That's just as well, because if I did I would be seriously worried about what I could have done in a past life to deserve all the bad things that have hit us in the last twelve months.
The latest is a potentially very difficult problem with the ageing parents. Now I know that many people of my age are starting to face such challenges, but let me put it all into context.
I grew up in a small town in a beautiful but very isolated part of the country. We had to travel fifty miles by road to find a large hospital or decent shopping. There were few employment opportunities except farming or seasonal tourism, so it was inevitable that most sixth formers went off to university and never returned. Although my parents moved closer to civilisation on retirement, they are still about 200 miles away from both me and my sister and I only see them briefly once a year. For a number of reasons we don't have a close relationship.
But now they are struggling and they are turning to me (and my sister) for help. The sort of practical help they have never offered to us. Distance and my own circumstances mean that I can offer little day to day assistance, except finding things out and making phone calls if necessary. But I'm already feeling guilty about that, because I think they will be expecting much more. I have noted the comments that they have made in the past about other families in a similar position.
I'm planning a visit in September and will need to be on standby in case a real emergency occurs, but my health and own family have to come first. There is no point suggesting to my parents that they move closer to me, as my mother has always hated London with a passion and anyway they have many friends where they are. They live near to where my father grew up, it is his part of the world. I'm sure they will stay there, by the sea.
And in amongst all this I am slowly losing my mother, at far too young an age, to a cruel disease. Perhaps it is no coincidence that a complicated and difficult mother-daughter relationship is central to my plans for novel two.
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Monday, June 28, 2010
College boy
This afternoon Hubby and I went to visit Son 2's new sixth form/further education placement for September. The ethos of the unit won't be entirely new to him, as it is part of the school he has been at for the last five years, but it is located in a separate building in a different area and has its own staff team.
The unit is in a building situated on the edge of a mainstream FE college campus and there are possibilities for a little integration for some students. A focus of the unit is on performance arts ...dance, drama and music...but it also has an IT suite and a fantastic teaching kichen, both of which will probably be much more to Son 2's taste! The students still have some literacy and numeracy lessons and get the opportunity to work towards basic OCR qualifications.
Although the premises are old and somewhat battered, probably inevitable given the autistic client group, we felt that Son 2 should be happy there. The transition will be difficult for him, but the consistent approach and teaching methods should make it easier and it will be a good preparation for adult life.
We are very lucky to have such a specialist placement for him. All we can do now is keep our fingers crossed for September.
The unit is in a building situated on the edge of a mainstream FE college campus and there are possibilities for a little integration for some students. A focus of the unit is on performance arts ...dance, drama and music...but it also has an IT suite and a fantastic teaching kichen, both of which will probably be much more to Son 2's taste! The students still have some literacy and numeracy lessons and get the opportunity to work towards basic OCR qualifications.
Although the premises are old and somewhat battered, probably inevitable given the autistic client group, we felt that Son 2 should be happy there. The transition will be difficult for him, but the consistent approach and teaching methods should make it easier and it will be a good preparation for adult life.
We are very lucky to have such a specialist placement for him. All we can do now is keep our fingers crossed for September.
Friday, June 25, 2010
The Hive
See that fabulous new widget on the right? It links to The Hive, the new social media game for Like Bees to Honey by the lovely Caroline Smailes.
I was lucky enough to have the chance to be one of the testers of The Hive yesterday, and whilst I am far too much of a techno-numpty to explain how it works, all the details and The Hive itself, can be found here.
Go and have a play, ask a question and create a bee (mine is pink, by the way). And if you haven't read the book yet you really must, it is amazing.
Have fun and I hope to see you in my hive!
I was lucky enough to have the chance to be one of the testers of The Hive yesterday, and whilst I am far too much of a techno-numpty to explain how it works, all the details and The Hive itself, can be found here.
Go and have a play, ask a question and create a bee (mine is pink, by the way). And if you haven't read the book yet you really must, it is amazing.
Have fun and I hope to see you in my hive!
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Disability benefits and the Budget
Yesterday's Budget has shown that the current Government does not understand the nature of disability or the purpose of Disability Living Allowance. The proposed changes will potentially have a wide ranging impact, especially for families of disabled children and anyone with a hidden disability or one which varies from day to day (such as MS).
DLA is not, and never has been, related to the ability to work, which is covered by Incapacity Benefit (now Employment Support Allowance). Instead DLA might contribute to the cost of special equipment, of having to take taxis, of replacing household items broken by a challenging child. It might help with the cost of a cleaner or occasional carer. The money (and associated Carer's Allowance) might enable a parent to stay at home to care for a disabled child for whom finding childcare would be very difficult. People perhaps assume that all these things are automatically provided by the NHS or Social Services. Well no, they're not, in fact most disabled people don't even have a social worker. The other truth of the matter is that many people who should be entitled to DLA don't even claim, either because they don't know about it or find the form-filling too complex.
I could write a huge blog post on all this, but Anne Wollenberg has already done so in this excellent piece for Comment is Free for the Guardian. Read it, please.
DLA is not, and never has been, related to the ability to work, which is covered by Incapacity Benefit (now Employment Support Allowance). Instead DLA might contribute to the cost of special equipment, of having to take taxis, of replacing household items broken by a challenging child. It might help with the cost of a cleaner or occasional carer. The money (and associated Carer's Allowance) might enable a parent to stay at home to care for a disabled child for whom finding childcare would be very difficult. People perhaps assume that all these things are automatically provided by the NHS or Social Services. Well no, they're not, in fact most disabled people don't even have a social worker. The other truth of the matter is that many people who should be entitled to DLA don't even claim, either because they don't know about it or find the form-filling too complex.
I could write a huge blog post on all this, but Anne Wollenberg has already done so in this excellent piece for Comment is Free for the Guardian. Read it, please.
Monday, June 21, 2010
Slowing down
I seem to have hit a slow patch with the writing, where nothing is quite coming together. The words just aren't flowing, even in blog posts.
That may be because I'm very tired and have increasing family concerns on my mind at the moment. It may also be because I'm in something of a limbo, with novel one out on submission and my planning on novel two not yet complete enough for the actual writing to be started.
I've been trying to plug the gap with a short story or two, but am frustrating myself with my inability to make one particular story work. I keep taking a break and coming back to it, but it is still tantalisingly out of my grasp and a deadline is approaching.
So, ever mindful of my need to pace myself nowadays, I'm taking a step back this afternoon and watching Wimbledon...
That may be because I'm very tired and have increasing family concerns on my mind at the moment. It may also be because I'm in something of a limbo, with novel one out on submission and my planning on novel two not yet complete enough for the actual writing to be started.
I've been trying to plug the gap with a short story or two, but am frustrating myself with my inability to make one particular story work. I keep taking a break and coming back to it, but it is still tantalisingly out of my grasp and a deadline is approaching.
So, ever mindful of my need to pace myself nowadays, I'm taking a step back this afternoon and watching Wimbledon...
Friday, June 18, 2010
Through The Barricades
This was one of my favourite songs of the 1980's and I've been listening to it a lot recently. That may, or may not, be writing related...
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Pieces of a jigsaw
I was chatting to a friend this morning and she asked what novel two is going to be about. So I started telling her about the settings, the main characters and the backstory and she became very enthusiastic. As I spoke I realised that, although I'm still short on plot detail, I do have the makings of a decent novel there.
I just can't make up my mind whether to plan this one in much more detail than novel one, or whether to start writing and let the characters show me the way. I know from novel one that this might lead to non-productive periods as I wait for the next plot twist and conflict to present itself to me, but I still have some background reading and research to do, so hopefully it will all be clearer then.
I probably just need a few more pieces of the jigsaw to fall into place before I can begin writing seriously...
I just can't make up my mind whether to plan this one in much more detail than novel one, or whether to start writing and let the characters show me the way. I know from novel one that this might lead to non-productive periods as I wait for the next plot twist and conflict to present itself to me, but I still have some background reading and research to do, so hopefully it will all be clearer then.
I probably just need a few more pieces of the jigsaw to fall into place before I can begin writing seriously...
Monday, June 14, 2010
Peace at last?
Son 2's half term was only two weeks (yes, I know, he gets just four weeks holiday in the summer) but it seemed endless.
It wasn't that he was particularly difficult, in fact he amused himself very well. But he was LOUD. At almost any time of day he would have the television on at one end of the room and his computer playing video clips, noisily and repetitively, at the other end. He wouldn't let us turn either off, he is indeed Mr Control Freak, and he would also 'shout' loudly and nonverbally over the top, especially if anyone was trying to talk.
I used to be able to switch off from all his noise and let it wash over me, but recently I seem to have lost that ability. Even though my desk is upstairs, the sounds are very disturbing if I leave Hubby in charge and try to work. I did escape to the library one day last week but it was full of toddlers and students on exam leave. So in the end I had to accept that the story I am writing was not going to get done during half term and I just got down to some novel research instead.
The difference today is amazing and although I normally take Son 2's first day back at school off to recover, my concentration is rapidly starting to return. Until, that is, the football is switched on and I have to suffer the drone of the vuvuzelas...
It wasn't that he was particularly difficult, in fact he amused himself very well. But he was LOUD. At almost any time of day he would have the television on at one end of the room and his computer playing video clips, noisily and repetitively, at the other end. He wouldn't let us turn either off, he is indeed Mr Control Freak, and he would also 'shout' loudly and nonverbally over the top, especially if anyone was trying to talk.
I used to be able to switch off from all his noise and let it wash over me, but recently I seem to have lost that ability. Even though my desk is upstairs, the sounds are very disturbing if I leave Hubby in charge and try to work. I did escape to the library one day last week but it was full of toddlers and students on exam leave. So in the end I had to accept that the story I am writing was not going to get done during half term and I just got down to some novel research instead.
The difference today is amazing and although I normally take Son 2's first day back at school off to recover, my concentration is rapidly starting to return. Until, that is, the football is switched on and I have to suffer the drone of the vuvuzelas...
Saturday, June 12, 2010
While you were gone...
I've had a redesign, after playing around with the new Blogger templates.
What do you think? Please do let me know if you have any problems reading it.
What do you think? Please do let me know if you have any problems reading it.
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Teaching
Yesterday I spent most of the day teaching at City University in London. Perhaps teaching is really too strong a word, as I'm not professionally qualified in any way to teach. But I, along with two others, spent time talking to a whole year group of student speech and language therapists about our experiences of parenting children with language and communication difficulties and helping them understand how to communicate with parent carers in their professional lives.
I've been doing these occasional sessions for about five years now and find them very enjoyable. Yesterday, as I was recounting some of our experiences to the room, it struck me how much easier it had become. Not just to speak out to so many people, but to discuss the past without getting upset. That, I think, is a measure of how far son 2 has come and perhaps also of my ability to deal with his autism.
The first year students always seem to appreciate our input. We guest speakers arrive after they've already had a short academic session and we then take turns to tell a little of our histories. After lunch the students undertake a fun written exercise in smaller groups and we circulate the room, helping them and enabling them to ask lots more questions if they wish. It works well and the students all seem to enjoy it.
As always, I was impressed by how well the students had taken in the themes under discussion and the intelligence of their questions. There is no doubt that they are all entering their chosen profession with genuine motivation. But there were also fears being expressed privately about the uncertain future of the NHS. There is already a shortage of speech and language therapists in frontline services and the future does not look bright for either therapists or service users.
Although I never had any desire to be a teacher like my father, I really do enjoy my brief forays into higher education teaching. It's fun. Maybe I actually missed my vocation somewhere!
I've been doing these occasional sessions for about five years now and find them very enjoyable. Yesterday, as I was recounting some of our experiences to the room, it struck me how much easier it had become. Not just to speak out to so many people, but to discuss the past without getting upset. That, I think, is a measure of how far son 2 has come and perhaps also of my ability to deal with his autism.
The first year students always seem to appreciate our input. We guest speakers arrive after they've already had a short academic session and we then take turns to tell a little of our histories. After lunch the students undertake a fun written exercise in smaller groups and we circulate the room, helping them and enabling them to ask lots more questions if they wish. It works well and the students all seem to enjoy it.
As always, I was impressed by how well the students had taken in the themes under discussion and the intelligence of their questions. There is no doubt that they are all entering their chosen profession with genuine motivation. But there were also fears being expressed privately about the uncertain future of the NHS. There is already a shortage of speech and language therapists in frontline services and the future does not look bright for either therapists or service users.
Although I never had any desire to be a teacher like my father, I really do enjoy my brief forays into higher education teaching. It's fun. Maybe I actually missed my vocation somewhere!
Monday, June 07, 2010
Researching
I was on sole parental duty all weekend, so I used snatched moments to research online for novel two.
Without wanting to give too much away, the novel will be set in two cities, one of which is London and the other is a city in Europe I visited many years ago. I now need to research that city at two very specific points in the last century. It is proving a challenging and fascinating task, since for plot reasons it is critical to get certain things right before I start writing. Today I visited our small local library for more information and I'm also planning a couple of research trips into London at some point.
I didn't have to do so much research for my first novel, as the setting was fictional and the timeline wholly contemporary. But I've always had a strong interest in history, so I'm enjoying researching these elements and look forward to being able to apply creativity to them in due course.
In other news, it's still half term here for another week and I'm teaching in London on Wednesday, so my writing time will be somewhat limited. Normal service (and hopefully more interesting blog posts) will resume properly next week!
Without wanting to give too much away, the novel will be set in two cities, one of which is London and the other is a city in Europe I visited many years ago. I now need to research that city at two very specific points in the last century. It is proving a challenging and fascinating task, since for plot reasons it is critical to get certain things right before I start writing. Today I visited our small local library for more information and I'm also planning a couple of research trips into London at some point.
I didn't have to do so much research for my first novel, as the setting was fictional and the timeline wholly contemporary. But I've always had a strong interest in history, so I'm enjoying researching these elements and look forward to being able to apply creativity to them in due course.
In other news, it's still half term here for another week and I'm teaching in London on Wednesday, so my writing time will be somewhat limited. Normal service (and hopefully more interesting blog posts) will resume properly next week!
Thursday, June 03, 2010
Allergic
When I was a kid my best friend used to be allergic to sticking plasters, which was highly inconvenient when first aid was required. I married a man who has a number of food related allergies, including certain types of chocolate and red wine, and on one occasion I had to take him to hospital after a severe reaction. I was always very glad that I didn't have allergies.
Then about ten years ago I developed a nickel allergy, an angry heated rash under my watch strap. I had to buy a new watch with a stainless steel strap, I can now only wear jewellery made in precious metals or steel. But that isn't too hard to live with.
Yesterday, after taking the last tablet of a seven day course of antibiotics for a sinus infection, I came up in a lumpy red rash. I took an antihistamine tablet but the rash remains today. I visited the doctor yesterday evening, who suspects that I may now be allergic to penicillin, however the only way to be certain is to see if I react when given it again.
I don't think I'll be trying that in a hurry. We have had exactly the same question hanging over Son 2 since he was a toddler and I always say he is allergic to penicillin, for safety. I'll now do the same for myself, even though it means I'll be cutting myself off from a whole family of potentially life-saving drugs, and it will be flagged in my medical records. We can't take risks, not just for him but also for me as his main carer.
In the meantime, I'm hoping this irritating rash departs soon.
Then about ten years ago I developed a nickel allergy, an angry heated rash under my watch strap. I had to buy a new watch with a stainless steel strap, I can now only wear jewellery made in precious metals or steel. But that isn't too hard to live with.
Yesterday, after taking the last tablet of a seven day course of antibiotics for a sinus infection, I came up in a lumpy red rash. I took an antihistamine tablet but the rash remains today. I visited the doctor yesterday evening, who suspects that I may now be allergic to penicillin, however the only way to be certain is to see if I react when given it again.
I don't think I'll be trying that in a hurry. We have had exactly the same question hanging over Son 2 since he was a toddler and I always say he is allergic to penicillin, for safety. I'll now do the same for myself, even though it means I'll be cutting myself off from a whole family of potentially life-saving drugs, and it will be flagged in my medical records. We can't take risks, not just for him but also for me as his main carer.
In the meantime, I'm hoping this irritating rash departs soon.
Monday, May 31, 2010
Internet fail
Our internet connection had been slowing up for a while, a week, perhaps more. Then last Thursday it began to seriously fail. It wasn't that we couldn't get online, we could, but pages weren't loading properly. Some sites, a seemingly random selection, we couldn't access at all. It was all a bit of a disaster.
Of course this threw me into a total panic. Not only did I feel isolated, but I couldn't do the things I needed to do, such as internet banking. Half term was on the horizon and we rely on the internet completely to keep Son 2, a YouTube addict, amused. I couldn't read my emails to confirm he had a couple of days respite this coming week and I was unable to get hold of people by phone. Stressed doesn't even begin to describe how I was feeling.
Luckily I do have a Vodafone mobile internet dongle thing so all was not lost. I eventually discovered I could access my emails via that, but we wouldn't all be able to get online and the costs could potentially be huge if Son 2 had to use it all day during half term. Hubby has been trying to persuade me to cancel the contract when it expires this summer, but this has proven to me that it's a worthwhile investment as a fallback.
In the end we managed to get Son 2 online but the rest of us suffered. I spent an hour on the phone to BT who were polite but didn't solve the problem. They seemed to think it was probably our router (not a BT one) but I was sure it wasn't. They also muttered something about BT Yahoo server maintenance. In the end that is what I think the problem was, as yesterday morning our normal service suddenly came back (fingers crossed).
It's been scary to realise how dependent we are on our computers.
The computer downtime did, however, give me a chance to carry on reading Like Bees to Honey, which I finished yesterday. I'm still trying to process all my thoughts, but what I can say is that Caroline has written an amazing book and one from which I suspect each reader will take a different message. I'll come back to it later in the week.
Of course this threw me into a total panic. Not only did I feel isolated, but I couldn't do the things I needed to do, such as internet banking. Half term was on the horizon and we rely on the internet completely to keep Son 2, a YouTube addict, amused. I couldn't read my emails to confirm he had a couple of days respite this coming week and I was unable to get hold of people by phone. Stressed doesn't even begin to describe how I was feeling.
Luckily I do have a Vodafone mobile internet dongle thing so all was not lost. I eventually discovered I could access my emails via that, but we wouldn't all be able to get online and the costs could potentially be huge if Son 2 had to use it all day during half term. Hubby has been trying to persuade me to cancel the contract when it expires this summer, but this has proven to me that it's a worthwhile investment as a fallback.
In the end we managed to get Son 2 online but the rest of us suffered. I spent an hour on the phone to BT who were polite but didn't solve the problem. They seemed to think it was probably our router (not a BT one) but I was sure it wasn't. They also muttered something about BT Yahoo server maintenance. In the end that is what I think the problem was, as yesterday morning our normal service suddenly came back (fingers crossed).
It's been scary to realise how dependent we are on our computers.
The computer downtime did, however, give me a chance to carry on reading Like Bees to Honey, which I finished yesterday. I'm still trying to process all my thoughts, but what I can say is that Caroline has written an amazing book and one from which I suspect each reader will take a different message. I'll come back to it later in the week.
Friday, May 28, 2010
Time to refocus
I've had a busy week, so gave myself a break from writing. Now that novel one has finally left home, I need to turn my attention back to novel two, which has been forming gradually in my mind for a long time.
I've got many of the elements, the main and some secondary characters, the principal settings, some of the plot elements, but there are still more to find before I can start writing. Novel two, unlike novel one, is also going to need quite a lot of research. Over the past months I have been doing online research at odd times and I have quite a few websites bookmarked for further reading. I also have a few books to read or revisit and a DVD to watch.
A two week half term is about to start, so I think I've got the perfect excuse to escape to the library now and then...
I've got many of the elements, the main and some secondary characters, the principal settings, some of the plot elements, but there are still more to find before I can start writing. Novel two, unlike novel one, is also going to need quite a lot of research. Over the past months I have been doing online research at odd times and I have quite a few websites bookmarked for further reading. I also have a few books to read or revisit and a DVD to watch.
A two week half term is about to start, so I think I've got the perfect excuse to escape to the library now and then...
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
A perfect book launch
It was the London launch party of Like Bees to Honey yesterday and despite a brewing sinus infection I headed happily off to Wood Green, a journey into the centre of London then back out again!
The Big Green Bookshop was full of chattering literary types, some of whom I already knew, some I recognised from Twitter and others I didn't know at all. I managed to speak to quite a few people including a number of Novel Racers, past and present, Sue Guiney and Julia Williams. I only wish there had been time to talk to many more.
Caroline did a beautiful reading and signed many, many copies of the book. There was wine and Cisk beer from Malta. It was a happy, celebratory evening which finished all too soon.
Caroline's own account of last night and her other launch events can be found here and it's fascinating to read about a book launch from the author's point of view.
Monday, May 24, 2010
Believe
I use iGoogle as the homepage on my laptop and amongst my calendar, email and various links and feeds I have a couple of gadgets which provide daily inspirational quotes for writers.
But at the top of the page the words which inspire me most are a constant. Written on a 'sticky note' gadget the first words I see each morning are 'writers...write!'. I've already blogged about the significance of those words here and I can truly say that they motivated me to complete my novel.
This weekend I added another word beneath them.
BELIEVE.
Because that is what I have to do now.
But at the top of the page the words which inspire me most are a constant. Written on a 'sticky note' gadget the first words I see each morning are 'writers...write!'. I've already blogged about the significance of those words here and I can truly say that they motivated me to complete my novel.
This weekend I added another word beneath them.
BELIEVE.
Because that is what I have to do now.
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Like Bees to Honey - Chapter 3
I'm honoured and excited to be hosting Chapter 3 of Like Bees to Honey, the new novel by my mentor and friend, the hugely talented Caroline Smailes.
If you haven't already started your journey through this unique literary event, the first excerpt can be found here on Caroline's own blog and the whole novel will be posted around a total of 32 blogs today. Just click on the book to view.
Continuing on your way, as you truly must, Chapter 4 is to be found here on Jon Mayhew's blog.
Enjoy.
(You can also buy a traditional copy from Amazon or other booksellers)
If you haven't already started your journey through this unique literary event, the first excerpt can be found here on Caroline's own blog and the whole novel will be posted around a total of 32 blogs today. Just click on the book to view.
Open publication - Free publishing
Continuing on your way, as you truly must, Chapter 4 is to be found here on Jon Mayhew's blog.
Enjoy.
(You can also buy a traditional copy from Amazon or other booksellers)
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Monday, May 17, 2010
Getting ready to submit
This weekend I've been doing further research on agents. I'd already spent hours reading the Writers' and Artists' Yearbook and checking out agency websites to find where my book might possibly fit, but this time I was doing something more specific. I was looking at how the agencies which interest me want work submitted.
It's something that is common sense but also very important. We all know we need a synopsis and a covering letter, but beyond that there does seem to be a lot of advice on the web, some of it conflicting. However, every agency has its own specific requirements and we should follow them to the letter. There is no point in failing to do so, or trying to submit a book before it's ready, because we just end up jeopardising a chance with that agency and in the current market nobody can afford to do that.
Just a little heads up that something very exciting is going to be happening on this blog on Thursday and it might just involve my lovely mentor Caroline Smailes. Please check back then...
It's something that is common sense but also very important. We all know we need a synopsis and a covering letter, but beyond that there does seem to be a lot of advice on the web, some of it conflicting. However, every agency has its own specific requirements and we should follow them to the letter. There is no point in failing to do so, or trying to submit a book before it's ready, because we just end up jeopardising a chance with that agency and in the current market nobody can afford to do that.
Just a little heads up that something very exciting is going to be happening on this blog on Thursday and it might just involve my lovely mentor Caroline Smailes. Please check back then...
Friday, May 14, 2010
Ankles and awesomeness
I had to see a physiotherapist at the hospital yesterday. Now I thought I knew our local hospital quite well, both boys were born there and have been inpatients at one time or another, as have I. But yesterday I discovered a whole new area, a long corridor dedicated to adult therapy services, and found myself in a huge gym for an assessment of the ankle pain and spasms I've been suffering. I didn't get any real answers, but as it seems to be getting better on its own I'm not so bothered, and I'm being given exercises to do at home to strengthen my muscles.
Afterwards I popped into the new hospital branch of Costa for a reviving coffee and browsed the magazines and paperbacks in WH Smith before heading for home. It never ceases to amaze me how a large hospital is almost like a small town, with places to eat, things to buy and even a hairdresser. I've probably told you before that allegedly an old lady once dialled 999 to get a lift to a hair appointment there?
Earlier this week I was given the awesomesauce blog award above by Clarissa Draper. I think I'm supposed to pass it on to five of you, but as so many of my readers write awesome blogs, I really can't make a decision. So I'm going to cheat and tell all you awesome bloggers to help yourselves!
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