Write what you know...

...is the conventional wisdom.

I know that my own writing is definitely strongest when it is based on this principle, because even when fictionalising the material the emotional truth shines through.

I am now faced with deciding what to write for the next OU assignment, which is a very big one in terms of the overall assessment marks. We can choose from fiction, life writing or poetry. So having discounted poetry as far too risky, I am left with a choice of the other two.

I am lucky enough to have experienced plenty of possible material in my life. But do I go with life writing or do I create fiction from my own experience?

Answers on a postcard please.

A nasty shock

The snow last week seems to have done something to my brain. Or my memory.

I looked on the calendar this morning and realised, to my horror, that next week is half term. Now it only seems a few days ago that son 2 went back to school after Christmas and of course having him home for three days last week seemed almost like a holiday anyway, certainly to him. So, another week off. And three inset days immediately afterwards.

I've got piles of work to do...OU assignments, the novel, some additional voluntary work and some other important stuff. And very little time to do it.

Time to stick my head in the sand, I think.

Lisa - an inspiration

I've blogged before about how the early death of one of my dearest friends from cancer gave me the motivation to start writing, to try to realise my dreams before it is too late.

Now I have another reason. Yesterday Lisa Ratcliffe, one of the Novel Racers, lost her exceptionally brave fight against cancer.

Unlike many of the group I had not had the opportunity to meet Lisa in person, something I regret very much. But I regularly followed her inspirational blog. I often lurked because, during a time of my own family crises, I just could not always find the right words to support her as she tackled her illness with such optimism, still finding time to enjoy life to the full. That is something I also regret, though Lisa knew my thoughts were with her.

In her final blog post, just a week ago, Lisa sent out a vital message: writers - write! It is one I intend to follow.

A JustGiving page, to raise money for Cancer Research UK in Lisa's name, has been set up here.

Snow, snow, go away...

The sun is shining today, as it was yesterday. Quite a lot of the snow has melted, but there is still plenty left.The side roads and pavements are treacherously icy.

Life in London, however, is getting back to normal. The buses got back on the road yesterday. The tube lines were all running a good service when I checked this morning. After taking the tube yesterday, Hubby decided to drive today and I presume he got there, as I haven't heard otherwise. He needs to be there as the credit crunch is biting the business very hard, indeed there are very real fears it may not survive this month.

Son 1 is back at college. The college officially opened late morning yesterday, he went in specially for one class, only to find it cancelled. Today he hasn't come home, so I guess the class is running.

Son 2 is still at home. We will hear today whether his school is reopening tomorrow. There are special circumstances surrounding the closure of his specialist school...extra health and safety concerns regarding severely autistic kids with no sense of danger and also the fact that most of them have long bus/taxi journeys to get to the school from all over London and the Home Counties. We live 12 miles away and are probably one of the families closest to the school.

So it is a strange week. I should be writing, but can't with son 2 to keep a close eye on. I am too scared to drive to the supermarket in the evening, but thankfully just a couple of weeks ago a Tesco Express opened within walking distance.

They say we may get more snow in the next few days. I just hope normal service will be resumed soon.

Update: The school has just called to say that it has now been risk assessed, so he can go back tomorrow, as long as the council runs the transport. If it's not safe for the school bus, then it's not safe for me to attempt either!

Snow

So it rarely snows in London. But when it does, the city grinds to a halt.

This was the scene outside my front door at about 8am this morning. Son 1's college is closed today. Son 2's school is closed for at least three days. Hubby is at home too, because it is not safe to drive the 14 miles into Central London on what is a very hilly route, the tube station is shut and there are no buses running in the whole of London.

And spotted in our garden early this morning was a fox, knee deep in snow and looking very pissed off...

A study interlude

Yet again more than a week has passed. But I have been busy, honest.

In that time two OU assignments have been written and submitted. Then on Saturday I attended a day school for the writing course which was stimulating and felt far too short. My mind is now buzzing with ideas for our final big piece of assessed work. Most of those who attended on Saturday met up again on Monday to continue informally. Sadly I couldn't make it, but they kindly looked over my work and fed back to me by email

I have also been glued to the BBC new channel, Obama watching. So far, so good. The same can be said for Son 1's college attendance.

Three notable things:

1. The death of John Updike has provoked a flurry of tributes. I haven't read any of his novels, though I do remember really enjoying a story I read relatively recently. I think it was online but I can't remember where, so that's not much help. Sorry.

2. I have rediscovered my Nintendo DS which had laid dormant for may months. I enjoy doing word puzzles on it but I also now have this. Not a Sony reader, sure, but actually quite readable in small doses.

3. Another birthday has passed, without too much fuss.

Notes to Obama: Maya Angelou

I don't usually post twice in a day but I have just found this and, like the writer herself, it is inspirational.

Positivity

Yesterday was supposed to be 'Blue Monday', allegedly the most miserable day of the year. In a world which is teetering on the edge of financial chaos, where people are losing jobs every day, the title seemed very apt.

I was brought up by parents who are prone to anxiety and negativity and I know I have inherited a tendency towards those traits too. However much I try to be a positive person, I can never quite stop the negative thoughts encroaching.

But today there are things to celebrate.

Barack Obama is to be inaugurated as the first black President of America. The world has high hopes. Even though it is unlikely he will be able to meet all those expectations, just the fact that history is being made is enough to start with. He has a huge job ahead of him, but his calm demeanour suggests he may just be up to it.

On a more personal level, yesterday Son 1 started college, the first time he has been able to access formal education for three years. Right up to the last minute I wasn't sure he would manage it, he had hardly slept at all for two weeks due to anxiety. But when the moment came he seemed quite calm, he went off on his own and we are very proud of him. Another small step on the way to reaching his goal.

If you need proof that staying calm and positive is good for you, here it is.

I'm going to try hard to follow the advice.

Computer says no

I had a true Little Britain moment earlier this week.

Last summer we lost our child benefit for son 1, because he was over 16 and attending a mental health provision with no educational element, rather than being back in school or college. I suppose he could have claimed incapacity benefit, but we didn't suggest it, not wanting him to start off adult life feeling that he has no need to study or support himself. We were very clear that we would claim child benefit again as soon as he went back to education.

He is due to start college next Monday so this week I phoned the Child Benefit office to give them the information and ask for the benefit to be reinstated from next week.

'Oh I can't take the details now. Phone back next week when he starts.'

'Can't you just take the information now, as I am on the phone?'

'The computer won't let me enter it this week. Have you got all the course details?'

'Yes, here right in front of me.'

'You'll have to phone back next week please. I can't enter them on the computer now.'

Argh!

Three notable things:

1. A lovely dinner out last night.

2. Knowing that my car is safely through its MOT for another year.

3. Catching up with an old friend today and arranging to meet another very soon.

The Daily Mail strikes again

The Mail loves to write about autism. Sometimes their articles are well balanced but more often they are stirring up even more hysteria over the MMR or promoting the latest 'cure'.

A friend has just led me to this. The article itself and the comments show what a wide range of views there are.

No, having an autistic child does not ruin your life. It profoundly changes it, certainly, in ways you might never have expected. You often do have to lower your expectations of what your lifestyle might be. But it is not that usual for both parents to have to give up work to look after the child. There is help out there in the form of specialist schools, many of which are residential, respite care from social services, foster care...

But these things don't just fall into your lap. Parents have to be proactive, above all they have to fight for what they need. It's hard when you are worn out, but it is worth the effort. When Son 2 was small I knew that if I could just get him into the right school our lives would be so much easier. With help I fought, I won, we have been supported. I started to work voluntarily for our local autism charity to help develop playschemes and other services, all of which we as a family have benefited from. My son hasn't ruined his grandparents lives, they live far away so rarely see him and we don't make demands of them. My husband has always worked, usually 12 hours a day, to support us and we deal with this on our own.

Of course every child on the autistic spectrum is different because they are a fascinating blend of varying degrees of autism with their underlying personality. For example my son displays quite different traits to Casdok's and is much less able than Crystal Jigsaw's daughter, yet we have all had to fight for what they need. There is no child who cannot be found care and an education, even if it means moving out of the family home. Often difficult autistic children blossom in the consistency of the 24 hour curriculum in a residential setting which understands their needs. Others do better at home. There is no right or wrong.

There are many journalists and writers out there who write about their personal experiences of parenting autism. Nick Hornby, his ex-wife Virginia Bovell, Charlotte Moore and many more. When they write they are honest, but above all their love for their children shines through, just as it does on so many blogs.

This piece, however, is written by an outsider, someone who just sees a child as a burden, as a barrier to a certain way of life. A child who, if a test had been available, should have been aborted.

(PS I haven't written yet about Simon Baron-Cohen's view that a antenatal test for autism is on the way, because I'm not really sure how I feel about it. Watch this space.)

Hmm...

So a Labour MP says that dyslexia is 'a cruel fiction leading to crime'?

Son 1 has relatively mild, but very real, specific learning difficulties, mainly affecting his ability to write, spell and generally express himself on paper. I had raised queries for many years before two teachers at middle school finally backed me up and agreed there was a problem. So we had him privately tested and a couple of years of extra input, both in school and with a specialist private tutor, helped enormously. But he is still not confident with writing and his ability in this area does not reflect his overall level of intelligence and functioning.

High school didn't recognise his need and took him off the special needs register. His school career subsequently went belly up, though not entirely from that cause. He is not a criminal, in fact quite the opposite, his anxiety makes him exceptionally law abiding. I do, however, know other children with dyslexia who have got themselves into trouble, largely because they too have been badly failed by their teachers and became totally disenchanted with education.

Son 1 started reception class in 1996. The Labour government came into power in 1997. An own goal?

Three notable things:

1. I am constantly amazed by how I see all of life through my internet contacts.

2. The slow job of decluttering has begun. Bags of clothing are being sorted for the charity shop.

3. Son 1 has taken a temporary part time job helping on a scheme for younger teenagers who are experiencing difficulties in life. We are so proud of him.

Dementia

So, I now have a mother-in-law with diagnosed Alzheimers and a mother with some sort of early dementia, as yet unspecified.

My father accompanied my mum to the GP on Tuesday and discovered that what my mother had reported back from a phone conversation before Christmas, ie that her difficulties would not get any worse, is incorrect. Was that incomprehension ( most likely) or denial?

Anyway they are going to need some support, albeit from a distance. My dad is, quite correctly, wanting my mum to maintain her routines and keep as independent as possible, but it is clear that the deficits she has suffered in language skills make social communication and even things like shopping difficult at times.

Now that is when the penny dropped. Her difficulties now are not so different to autism and therefore the sort of strategies we all use for our autistic kids, such as regular routines, visual timetables and alternative means of communication can all come into play. She occasionally gets very confused about what day it is, so I just suggested that they actively cross each day off on a calendar, so that the next morning she can see clearly the day of the week. Simple, yes. Obvious, well yes, but perhaps not if you are in the middle of it. My dad found a suitable calendar yesterday and started straight away. I think he will need to be bringing his skills as a former primary school teacher back into practice. Let's hope it helps.

If anyone has experience or tips on helping a relative with dementia, I'd be really interested to hear.

Three notable things:

1. The GP said Son 1 has 'the worst chest infection he had heard for a long time'. Strong antibiotics and inhalers were prescribed and seem to be starting to work.

2. Pressing on with the novel, slowly but surely. The words are coming in short bursts rather than a steady flow.

3. A much better mark for my second OU writing assignment, a film script. Hooray!

Jett Travolta

The news emerged last night that Jett Travolta, the teenage son of John Travolta and Kelly Preston, had died tragically on a family vacation, apparently from a seizure.

There has been much rumour over the years as to Jett's condition and true diagnosis. Not being a huge celebrity watcher myself, I couldn't be bothered to follow up all the Google links this morning, but Kristina Chew, (formerly of Autism Vox, one of my favourite autism blogs) has tackled the subject in her usual balanced manner here on her new blog.

Does it matter whether Jett had autism or not? Well, yes and no. I can absolutely understand a family wanting to keep their child's privacy. Yet at the same time a public acknowledgement, even if it is just to say yes, my child has the condition but we don't wish to sell the story, can help other parents.

When a child is diagnosed with any disability or serious medical condition, families can feel very isolated. Just knowing you are not alone, that even celebrities have children with similar problems, can be comforting. It can help parents get past the denial which is a normal part of coming to terms with the situation, the grieving process for the child you once expected.

Awareness raising is another factor. Again this might be through formal interviews or autobiographies, but it could equally just be by being an active role model. We all have our own levels of how much we want to disclose about our family lives. I feel comfortable in talking about son 2 on here, but as I'm sure you are aware, you read the edited version. My novel is tackling the subject in another way, by combining elements of our story together with things I have learnt from others and by adding in a huge amount of situational fiction. The emotional truth will be told, but in a different way.

I wonder how much more, if anything, the Travolta family will eventually disclose? It is, of course, absolutely their right to keep Jett's life and death private, yet at the same time they could in due course celebrate his life by sharing and helping others.

But in the meantime my sympathies are with them for their sad loss.

The festive season in review

Actually it wasn't too bad. No one was ill over Christmas, though Son 1 has just broken our run of good health by coming down with a very nasty cough virus yesterday ( and no, it isn't due to too much partying, though he did that too!)

Not putting up decorations meant that home seemed normal for Son 2, though I felt that this year he had more understanding of other family Christmas traditions. For the first time ever he decided to try the turkey and couldn't get enough of it. He also opened all of his presents on Christmas Day rather being distracted by the first one or two and ignoring all the rest. However he decided to get up between 5.30 and 6am every morning until today, when Son 1 was up and needing me to find medication at 4.15am...

We have had four playscheme days, which has helped enormously as Hubby and Son 1 have been working over the holiday period. I have introduced Son 2 to YouTube, but he is so adept at navigating around I think he must have already used it at school. We have bookmarked a few starting points and he is discovering videos of old kids TV programmes. Currently we are being treated ad nauseam to 'Barney in Concert' which we had on both video and CD years ago. Eek.

Three notable things:

1. I managed to be very restrained when I visited the sales, though I have bought a couple of new warm sweaters online.

2. Taking a quick breather from OU study, though I shall have to restart in earnest next week.

3. Deciding not to invite my sister's family down for the day. Our house is just not spacious enough for an extra four big people as well as Son 2. We'll invite them in the summer instead and pray it doesn't rain...

Goodbye 2008...

...and good riddance.

Those of you who visit regularly will know that many members of our extended family have had to face huge challenges this year, mainly health related. Things are not back to normal, indeed never will be back to how they once were, but have at least improved and I appreciated all your support. I know that we have not been alone in facing such a difficult year, far too many of my online friends have also been struggling in various ways.

We don't know what 2009 will bring, financially it is likely to be difficult as Hubby has already had to take a pay cut to try to keep the business, for which we both work, alive in the credit crunch. But we will get through it somehow.

I'm not going to make New Year's Resolutions, in the current climate I think I would be far too likely to fail. But what I would like to achieve in 2009, circumstances permitting, is to complete my OU studies and at least the first draft of the novel, to become a more consistent blogger again and also to find more time to look after myself. Everything else will just be a case of wait and see where life takes us...

Happy New Year!

Season's Greetings...

...to all my blog friends.

( image by FreeFoto.com)

It's Christmas

I'm starting to feel Christmassy at last. Only a teeny bit though.

School has finished and my last OU assignment of the year was sent off yesterday. Now I can focus on other matters in hand. The presents are purchased, with due consideration to the credit crunch. The cards are sent. We have no tree, as son 2 has been very upset by the tree over the last few years, too much of a change to his usual environment. Perhaps we will have another go at sneaking it up at the last minute this year. Son 1 is ill with a nasty gastric upset and had to miss work yesterday. It wouldn't be Christmas without some sort of illness here.

So for the next few days I will be house tidying, present wrapping and food shopping...

Three notable things:

1. The X Factor - the right result. But I hope JLS do well too.

2. I now have four versions of Hallelujah on my computer. Leonard Cohen, Jeff Buckley, KD Lang and Alexandra Burke. Yes, I like that song...

3. I'm feeling sad about Woolworths closing, even though it has been rubbish in recent years.

Of music and other things

So it is almost the final of The X Factor and I have hardly blogged about it at all this year. For many weeks my favourite has been Alexandra, who has been classy and consistent, but after last Saturday JLS have really come back into the picture and in many ways I think they have made the most progress ( or perhaps Louis just made bad song choices for them in the past?)

I'd be happy if either act won on Saturday and while we are on the subject of The X Factor, is it really WRONG that I get an overwhelming urge to mother Aston of JLS everytime he gets emotional?!

Son 2 has surprised everyone with his latest choice of favourite music, moving on from nursery rhymes and Disney to Snow Patrol. Chasing Cars is one of my favourite songs too, though how long will that remain the case after Son 2 has driven us mad with repetitive playing of the track?

Three notable things:

1. Son 1 has started two weeks work experience in the self-serve warehouse at IKEA which he is enjoying, though walking miles each day in new steel-capped boots is exhausting for him and his feet are very blistered.

2. I can't get at all enthusiastic about Christmas this year. I'm sorry but I just can't.

3. I received the result of my OU E301 course yesterday. I got the grade I had hoped for, so am very pleased.

A Warning

There seems to be a new virus around called Actns/Swif.T which comes through embedded YouTube videos in blogs and elsewhere.

I first came upon it this morning on someone else's blog, when my antivirus highlighted it and deleted it. I was shocked to find my blog was also affected this evening.

I am gradually working back and removing all the YouTube embeds, fortunately I don't have too many, but it is possible you may encounter this virus on an older page here or elsewhere. Google it for more info, I'm not techie enough to understand the implications should it get past your antivirus.

Update: It appears that the situation is not as serious as it seemed. Although it is a very real virus and nasty if you click on the link it delivers, apparently yesterday Computer Associates antivirus, which I have, was throwing up false positives on any page containing embedded YouTube videos. They seem to have fixed their virus definitions now. But still watch out for the virus!

College

Where does the time go?

In the last week I have spent a lot of time running around with Son 1 and I am pleased to report that he is now enrolled on a college course starting in January. This morning we collected his college ID, we got photos done for his new Oystercard (it has been costing us a fortune since the end of September when he no longer qualified for student discounts). We also bought him a new winter coat, as he got freezing cold when out having teenage adventures last weekend (don't ask!) and his old coat seems to have been lost when he went into hospital earlier in the year. It is amazing how far he has come since then.

I'm drowning in screenplays for the OU course, as our next assignment is to write an adaptation of our previous story for stage, radio or film. I have decided to do film, so am busy reading around the subject. There is a lot of work in this section of the course, but I am determined to keep up as best I can, even if I have to ask for an extension of the assignment deadline. I also have an assignment due in soon on my counselling course and am well behind on the reading for that. Eek!

Three notable things:

1. My mother had an MRI scan on Sunday. We hope this will provide some answers to her currently unexplained neurological symptoms.

2. Mother-in-law is having a short trial, arranged by social services, of carers going in once a day to keep an eye on her and make sure she eats. I hope she will allow it to continue, but she has Alzheimers and always was strong-willed, so who knows?

3. There is a lot of debate in our borough at present, as to how funding for 'breaks for carers' can be best used. I was invited to a workshop day tomorrow and much as I would have liked to put forward my views I have declined because I just don't have the time. I have talked with someone who is going and has a similar interest in the subject, so I know our needs will be represented.