I'm still editing. It's slow, painstaking work largely involving small tweaks and the moving of commas. I make changes and then the next day change them back again. Some days I read my work and think it's not too bad, the next day I hate it.
I know I've got to take my time on this edit, to get the novel into the best shape I possibly can. But it's causing far more self-doubt than even the actual writing did, and that at times was like pulling teeth. Some days the right words come, sometimes I can't think of even simple expressions. I don't know if this a side effect of my MS or just a deficiency in my writing skills.
To cheer myself up I've been researching agents to whom I might wish to submit. But if I feel like this about the novel now, how on earth will I be when it is launched out into the world on its own?
10 comments:
I fell out of love with my book, last year, for several months. It was a horrible patch but the only thing I could do was keep writing through it (including taking breaks from the book when necessary, e.g. at the end of drafts, and writing other bits and pieces at times when I really couldn't face working on it). I was lucky to have my mentor's support through this stage - I'm not sure I'd have kept going otherwise - and I know you've got similar support of excellent quality. Writing IS like pulling teeth, at times. I have NO idea why we do it! Hang in there; keep going; the wheel will turn, and you'll fall in love with your WIP all over again. I did, so you can.
I think this fear is the main reason my last few chapter remain unfinished.
Queenie - I still believe in my story, but I've lost belief in my writing skills. I know something's missing, the writing needs to be pulled to a higher level, but I just can't get my head around how to do it. Hopefully I'll wake up tomorrow and all will suddenly become clear :)
Heather- You have to get those last chapters finished. Reaching the end is so satisfying, even if it means the hard work of editing is just starting.
I'm just ploughing through what I hope is the final edit of mine now, and I know how you feel. But, like Queenie said, you just need to write through it and keep going. It's the only way x
All that anguish and self doubt -- yep, you're a writer!
Helen - I've got until the end of the month to get this sorted then it goes back to Caroline for her final edit. I have to be very thorough. :)
Paul - yes!
It's such a fraught time in the process, I think. When I first get notes about what needs revising -- and there's always loads -- my immediate reaction is "I'm rubbish. I can't do this. I'll never be any good." But once I tuck into it, I enjoy it and start to feel better. Then once it's sent out, I start to feel rubbish again. Isn't this fun?
Yes Sue, why do we put ourselves through the agony?
But don't you think it's really exciting? You're doing so well with it. I'm looking forward to researching agents and need some advice about publishers too. But I'm not far off the editing now. About 10-15k words I'd say. Am hoping to have it finished before we start lambing at the end of March.
CJ xx
CJ - it is exciting but also very scary. But then I know I'm no good at letting go...kids or work!
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